Owned

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Who am I now-

With only your memories

To hold me close again

You know it hurts inside

But darling I can’t lie

I’d rather live with the pain

Then live without anything

So long as it reminds me, of you

Just the way I’m made I guess

All heart and still a mess

Just the way you found me

Blood and tears on my sleeve

And a craving that keeps me

Hypnotized to love I’ve known         

Oh, your kiss stole my soul

But I don’t mind it at all, baby

Truth be told, even in silence

So long as you come in my dreams

Reminding me of all those times

We laid side by side at night

Nothing to cover us up

But our own moist whispers

And dim sighs …of moonlit kisses  

.

Poet of the Light © 2022

Intrusion

Whisper words that stir my fate

Until its sweeter than past days

Let me feel each breath on my face

So, I’ll know the touch of love again

.

Move me like a mountain in your way

Smooth away all my precipitous cliffs

The way water does below the surface

With its soft currents of gentleness

.

Make me like a song you long to hear

Let me seep deep within your soul

Like the warmth of first kisses

Long enough until it feels like home

.

Rescue me from even my old self

With your moist whispers of… love

.

Poet of the Light © 2022

Deliverances  

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I know it’s wintertime here

Even snow has fallen a few times

But it’s colder than it should feel

As I stand here alone waiting

Tears are falling from my eyes

But that’s no big surprise, is it?  

Imagining you here too

I think about all the things I’d say

Like I love you endlessly child

And thank you for being a blessing

I know I never felt safer than

When we were together laughing

Or the warmth of your embrace

The promise of daybreak peeks

Over the horizon just slightly

And my heart beats a bit faster

Cause I believe you hear me talking

Tell me, show me- somehow

You’re happy and better now

We can both make-believe together

Just like when you were a child dancing

The light breaks through my tears   

Like a thousand waves crashing

In this secret seat of silence

I feel the breeze wrap around me

With the warmth of all your memories

And now I can’t stop crying

As all my fears slowly lay down

Believing you’re found… in every dawn

.

Poet of the Light © 2021    

Abstruse  

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Not a day passes that I don’t

Question, why didn’t I notice

What you weren’t saying to me

Have I grown just too obtuse

And comfortable in my solitude

That I was deaf to your needs?

I felt it was a mistake to leave

Did those miles in-between- us

Damage my fatherly instincts?

Oh, I feel I’ve failed the very one

That always attentively listened

And been there during my needs

Only you and God know it now   

As I alone silently wrestle …without

.

Poet of the Light © 2021  

Detoured

I’m reminded of the times

You pulled me from darkness

Where life left me stranded

Steeped in unknown fringes  

You reflected a strength

That I once herald myself

Before the scars I bare now

And long before your birth

I still recall our conversations

Where you inspired me onward

Hugged hope back into my heart

Wiped away my fallen tears                              

Modeling unconditional love

That separates us… for now

.

Poet of the Light © 2021  

Wake of truth

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2 am and I feel your memories

Pressing on my broken emotions

Tears roll down my weary face

I feel so out of place- anymore

.

I thought I be better but I’m not

Three weeks later and here I sit

Realizing nothing has changed

I feel somehow that I’m to blame

.

Encroaching light on the horizon

Always reminds me of your name

A double edge sword you’re present

But not like you always used to be

.

Moring has finally broken through

Maybe now I’ll pretend… to sleep?

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Galvanized

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To be so emotionally invested

Prior and long after your birth

In all those countless moments

We epitomized our shared life

Of God’s loves in divine purpose

We found a truth in each other

Joy of the heart and soul alike

Heightening each other’s- love        

Walking a threshold so few find

That borders with heaven itself

We knew it and appreciated that

Living onward through our legacies

To impossible that our lived love

Let alone our- specialized bond   

Merely comes to a stop…at death

Poet of the Light © 2021   

Instinctiveness  

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I sense a shadowy echo

On peripheral of my grief

Attributed more to others

Who’s long since left me

Before darkness did befall  

I hear well-meaning people

Sputter in their platitudes

Not realizing at all they do

Insensitively make it worse

Still, I’ll remain charitable

And carry this extra burden

How ironic they do believe

I should forget my memories

Of the very loved one I loss

Pretend life is good again

Move on, move past them

Compartmentalize emotion

As if they were just a thought

To be forgotten from now on

Yes, they do insult love itself

In my full understandment

Of what love should depict

But then again, it might be

They’ve never loved anyone

Let alone… unconditionally

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Relinquishment   

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Tidal waves of our memories

Wash over me in an- all at once

I struggle to keep above the fray

But never more so truer than when

Reality pulls me under all of them

I’m deafened by watery currents

Filled with real apprehensive fear

My broken heartbeats now thunder

While searching for a mere straw

As I frantically grasp at nothing      

I pause there in that nearby blur  

As your image, become more clear     

Then the world I’ve been left with  

Matters not at all without…you

.

Poet of the Light © 2021  

Until

I will walk no more with you

While holding your little hand

As comfort, you’re not alone

.

Nor sit on the local park lawn

To speak together as in our past

Of dreams, you’ve left undone

,

I will not gaze into your eyes

With such wonderment galore

About all the things you admire

.

I will not push you in the swing

As you glide with grace of wings   

God reserved before you were born

.          

I will not get any butterfly kisses

Until you walk me home…to heaven

.

Poet of the Light © 2021