Crisscrossing

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On occasion, I re-experience

Stepping in steps I’ve tread before

Some of heavy mud, some hard payment

And feel that familiarity be- born

As well as some of old discomforts

As if my shoes in those certain places

Have crudely become too outworn

Nonetheless, I peregrinate onwardly

Pragmatically watching each step carefully

In hopes I quickly leave behind

A trail I have learned and left before

The temptation to remain is too strong

From memories I carry with me, anyways  

And live a used-up past for … all my future

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Special delivery

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It’s nothing I can truly explain

But every once and a while

And out of the blue- it just happens

So hard to define- into words

That I know will never justify it

But the best I can depict, is:

Escorting a summer breeze

That hasn’t noticed my presence

Its like walking all alone

Void of even a fragment of a shadow  

In the midst of a summer day

That has chosen to dress in a haze

Why, I just don’t really know

But then a shift takes place

And an unseen storm comes along

Temperatures rapidly drop

My skin erupts- in goosebumps

Suddenly it begins to heavily rain

I silent smile- so unexpectedly

I can feel every single drop

As well as their flowing trail

Over my soul, like fingertips

Bring lost emotions back alive

Carrying secret notes they carry inside

They pour them out upon me  

And then, and then I realize

I can almost feel her embodiment

And smell the scent of her fragrance

The faint kiss, of her silky lips

Raindrops trickle down my back

Chills rise up to my skins surface

Feel as if they could be, her whispers

Oh! I still believe in miracles

That elusive unfound dream

Is passing through to notice me

If only to help renew my belief

In time, every prayer is answered

Some start as … tiny raindrops

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Unquantifiable

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I cannot begin to count, even now

How many times we restarted- us

Or how many times I eagerly forgave

Ignoring the fresh wounds and scars

You wanted more than was possible  

But nothing would really be enough

Nor did you comprehend, my love

I was too blind to really realize reality

You and our love, could not be saved

I treaded water in the wrong direction

Trying to save what was unreachable

I fell in love with uncontrollable chaos

It felt like home inside my broken soul

It hurt me the utmost … to let you go

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Finer soil

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I really didn’t think I’d get over you

But one day at a time, came true

Summer became winter into spring

A few stumbles of time learned aged

Oh, it’s not my heart don’t still break

Whenever something reminds me of us

And how we once lived a life of love  

You cannot break it any worse today

A heart never really gets tough enough

To withstand fractures that hurt deep

It will just never heal the same it was

I learned that don’t mean I can’t love

By pouring out all that ugliness within

To recreate something beautiful … again

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Baby girl

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Five steps to what seemed my one

It wasn’t long, her wisdom took over

As she suddenly let go of my fingers

She took off- hurrying barefooted  

Back and forth down the sidewalk

In her version of a drunken sailor  

Sunlight danced off her curly hair

Sundress and excited arms were flying

Giggles added to her growing charm

Her laughter was certainly infectious

I swear, this girl was born half angel

You could tell by her half tooth smile  

The first time she really tasted freedom

She has been chasing after it…ever since

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

a/k/a Daddy

Lacerations

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What is experienced is always real

Only their perceptions can be fallible

You simply don’t forget an earthquake

Or a massive divide opening before you

.

It said, things do wane over some time

But only in accuracy of that statement

Platitudes prattled never heal anything

They’re just cursory placebo’s cynics offer

.

I know fully the depth of my love gifted

As well as its breadth in embracement’s

It stems from my soul and all I’ll ever be

Until you treat me like yesterday’s confetti

.

It’s not my heartbreaks lessen any in pain

Or that the pain has magically weakened

Not when it comes to the truth of my heart

For every fracture and crevasse, tells a story

.

Oh, trust me, I do still unabashedly cry!

My tears have just lost enthusiasm to drop

You’ve broken those things in me that loves  

Wounds… require loves unfathomable touch

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Fallout

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Some of us love long downpours

That’ve dared to secretly sneak in

Beneath the humidly of daylight  

Like warriors out on some mission

Saving what’s been wrongly taken

But I abhor their feckless endings  

Qualm appears in queer ways

It is most strange, I’ll dare say

For me to sojourn for simplicity

That niche- where I’ve long to be

Within the worse of microcosms

Some of us bare out these lessons

Quietness really isn’t always

That peaceful sound thought

To bring one’s harmony back

That invisible sense of balance

Some of us have acutely learned

To recognized that unique “lull”

Of silence- right after a storm

Because we know what follows

Which is why, for some of us

The echoes are truly far worse

Then the origin … dares to be

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Unpacking

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Love is an eternal thing for me

Its fruition of divine knowledge

Two people have unlocked, live

You inhale, speak its wonderment

That still inspire heartfelt sonnets

And it defies all sound reason of logic  

But can mean a plethora of things 

And differently, for so many others

I really couldn’t begin to even fathom

Often, at least to me, too convenient

To claim, as if they’ve won a lottery

Thereby undermine its otherworldliness

Everchanging: a concept of terrific notice

Of which I admit I still grapple with

Cause it can be like a double edge sword

Which in itself, can be very unsettling  

But- something in which I am sure of

Is, I still love everyone I ever loved

Despite death, estrangement, or life  

Even those, whom I’ve never told

Held close in a crush like heart vault

Most of my pain; is from their loss

Unexpected, uncontrollable changes

And about that diminished access

None of which is easy to readily accept

After two souls melded spiritually

That’s not to say, I wasn’t angered

Not so much at them, the situations

More about the fashion it happened

Then in the happenings of the moments  

Deteriorating promises and images

The lessor degree I suddenly mattered

To them and in part also my inner self

And the real unfortunate knowledge

What we had, created- was devoured

Insofar as “we” was now concerned  

Which opened the door to move on

To a place of that absolute unknowns

Unwanted, scary, and yet, permanent

At least in small distractive ways

Until the pretending got much easier

Slowly replacing irascible depression

For many, they got extremely angry

Turn their love into malignant revenge

Their life became a dark myopic tunnel

Creating a sickness; one delves into lost

And most can never find their way out

But in truth, I’ll never get over all those

Heartbreaks, they’re my ultimate proof

For me, the love then… still matters now

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Not a day goes by,

I don’t feel their absence. 

Circled

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Love is always causal, so it is said  

But I find that specious at best

Shallow men prefer to blame religions

Instead- of their perverted versions 

Desire and sacrifice play polemist  

Winning me back and forth constantly

Trying to remain center is just egotistic  

Tis truly a war of my hidden realties

Waging deep beneath these surfaces

Of what I feel and what I really think  

Not to mention what my heart dreams

Most wouldn’t know I participate in

But then they never see the scars either

Nor hear of broken whispers on pillows

Craving is a most wild beast at large

Faith still proves to be an adroit warrior

I tend to have feigned bouts of accismus

Between my thoughts and heartbeats

Coyness: shattered heart learn quickly  

Fighting for and against, body and soul

Oft I feel dragged in and out of this world

I care not for the ongoing to and fro

Eternality of love remains … my only goal

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Flights

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Maybe- or maybe not

Tonight might be; uncertain if

These dark shadows will speak

I can feel they have much to say

I know- they know my name

And I know why they remain

Without hearing a single word

Sometimes I can feel their heartbeats

Whenever the rain and thunder fall

So, they never feel the secret need

To hide there within themselves  

I light candles for them to dance with

Especially if there are no stars about

Or the fog smothers over all the lights

And there is- no one else around

They flow fluently just like a river

Lost to a forgotten forest dark  

But they know, I’ve never forgotten

Anything I’ve loved … from my heart

.

Poet of the Light © 2021