Beyond seasons

April rainy showers came early

The sun always seemed absent

Yet, the grass and flowers grew

But a love I had, I let slip away

I stumbled throughout my days

Thinking only about November

All the fun in snowy mountains

I could still feel on my fingertips

Some seasons never seem to change

And some never seem to go away

But love is much more than a season

Once your heart moves into forever

I’ll secretly love that loss girl forever

And her real name was … November

Yield

My tears are blood drops from my soul.

I braved my heart when I was innocent

Wear nefarious scars- of my trespassers

Yet- forgiven things I just can’t forget

Made mistakes without a second thought

Broken what precious gift I should not

Drowned in loves tossed barren seas

And still, I thirst beyond comparison

Trodden the same dark paths repeatedly

While fearing- every step that I made

Wadded in the waters of true cleansing

Still- I’m beset to an unwelcome place

And would free myself in a heartbeat

If I could move the mountain…in me

Ambivalence

(shakes head) Just when

I thought I had said it all

I took a welcomed deep breath

The days and nights lingered

And you came back to mind

I don’t know why, now I’ve discovered

I’ve only begun to speak openly

Knowing I’m still broken

And I still hurt, just not as bad

But I’m finding my way alone

To whom I was, who I need to be

Baby steps over these deep cracks

I need desperately this path of patience

So, I can clarify any last…ambiguities

Heartsake

I see now, I’ve been mistaken

All this time I thought memoirs

Of our love played eloquently

In my mind when I felt lonely

That is not the truth borne out

Foolishly I limited love- itself

Your love in fact, stays at play

It remains imbedded within me

Every full breath of its existence

That- that is what sustains me

Giving my existence its purpose

Vivid touches imbuing my heart

Your precious love in continuation

Lives in my soul for… reunification

Hyde Park

Daybreak has yet to arrive judiciously

A heavy fog bogs down all sign of life

Tell me, just where do, I go from here

Wherever here- for me has now become?

I feel pieces of you lingering amongst

That help to stir up my subconscious

As your moist kisses had done for me

Breathing sweet life in held memories

However colorful yet be translucent

That my heart can bare to depict you

Oh, even your Jasmine perfume rises

As these cloudy blind eyes dare revisit

Caressing each other’s naked silhouettes

My fingertips reminisce your silkiness

Living love outside the worlds …ugliness

Imperishable

I’m so tired of these cold memories

That still touches this heart of mine

And can make me sadly wanna hide

From even my own self at most times

Or the questions of wondering why

Lovers of lies depict perfect illusions

Until it feels like I’m imploding inside

Only to be abandoned to their ashes

All I wanna do is simply live a truth

The warmth of real love uninhibited

In the safe harbor of someone’s heart

Trust them in the dark by their whispers

Feel the beat of their passion, arise

I wanna be, a memory that… never dies

Smokey mirror

Can’t believe you left me stranded

Beneath my purple night’s skyline

Not caring whether I sink or swim

On broken waves of a hearts hope

You know, I live where my love is

Even if its tossed and drifting alone

Time refuses to help and hold back

Every memory is smoldering ashes

You’re just as present as the moon

And unfortunately, just as far too

Oh, life can become laced in cruelty

Its tide keeps me from swimming free

Dawn recreates my everyday tragedy

Erasing only your present…reflection

Sheers

It’s so dark now inside

I often find late at night

When I can’t sleep- at all

Barefoot, I walk down that hall

Then down the stairs

To a living room, that doesn’t

Sit down in your chair

Trying to recapture bits of you

Draped in nothing but the moon

To ease the chills, I still feel

That shadow me in your absence

Inside my sad eyes, tears still swell

As my heart breaks in silence

I’m slowly dying … and falling

Declaration

Seeded fear grew from a childhood

Whereas all my blurry eyes seen

Merely a dark mirror staring back

And within that ominous glass

In muted tones of black and grey

A silhouette of my own image

Held within life’s forest of dark

Palisades stalks also did appear

With Ravens, Crows, and Hoot Owls

Mocking my attempt at any escape

Like tethered shadows at every turn

They haunted my precious memories

Turning my dreams- into nightmares

My heart refused surrender… freeing me

Sudden

On a bright sunny morning

All the colors abruptly muted

And your presence, just absent

I looked high and low- alone

There were no signs anywhere

Why you left or where you’d gone

Darkness of night came to stay

I welcomed having any company

Lost inside some place unknown

I wadded deep in our memories

Then swam the depths of despair

Trying desperately to recapture

Everything when we were in love

All I found was myself…empty

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