Presevationist

Since you’ve been gone

I’ve been nothing but lost

You were the counterbalance

When everything went wrong

Nothing I can say will change

My broken direction now

Life will never be the same

Cynical whispers hound my peace

In night and daydream turbulence   

Whenever I strive to reemerge  

From shattered pieces of my heart

As my shadow is absorbed in a darkness

And I’m just a living memory

That refuses to forget… you existed  

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Poet of the Light © 2023

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Battle tempered

Like a shadow of who I once was

I’ll walk along my empty shores

In the twilight hours of times before

Gathering empty shells of dreams

Left in the wake of ugly betrayals

That nearly drowned me repeatedly  

I’ve stepped past the ghost of my hurt

That plagued me for too many years

Through my heart still feel the scars

That still hungers for- a love unfound      

Where I can practice all, I’ve learned    

To feel the warmth of love in my arms

While I’m clutched in her guiding hands

Teaching me to trust love… once again

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Poet of the Light © 2022

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Disintegrated

My mind does try to understand

All things my emotions just can’t

Like why my heart wants to forgive

But still feels too broken down yet

It favors I surrender and let you go

With all this pain you’ve called love

My soul believes were heading for

A crash much worse than all this

Heartaches aren’t worth the trouble

Let’s stop pretending their normal

I’m so far from everything I’ve wanted

And sometimes I may feel I deserve it

Broken hearts cling to a glimmer of hope

One day someone will love us…anyway

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Poet of the Light © 2022

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Believers

Sometimes we have to just sit in the quietude

Attentively listening to no one but ourselves  

Our dreams, our woes, uttered prayers aloud

Untangling why we always feel that blueness  

Paying close attention to what is not said too

Like those secrets, we keep locked in our head

Behind a hidden door of our most inner fears

Where we store the scars of rejection and love

Where we keep window and shutters nailed shut     

Those time-etched shattered pieces our ourselves    

We hold hope to revive back to some kind of life   

Knowing full well, in our hearts it’s not possible     

Not without a miracle that only love can bestow

The kind of divine miracles we’re born… to dream

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Poet of the Light © 2022

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Daydreamers

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Life proves it’s ever-changing; is a truth  

But many opt to “go with the flow”

Find a place within the tidbits offered

However, I cannot choose to do that

For me, it seems to be ceding of my dreams

To the degree, that I’ve lowered expectations

Not only of my value but in those possibilities

Almost as if I’ve found myself unworthy

Of dreams, I truly still desire to achieve

Albeit I may be well off the crucial track    

Possibility remains alive as much as I do

I concede my odds of failure do grow higher

Just as my supporters dwindle in contrast

Nonetheless, I remain a faithful… believer

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Poet of the Light © 2022

Unconventionally

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I’ve no real magnetic control

Over my heart’s love for someone

Nor should I, least it be perverted

I can accept it or pretend and deny it   

But inside my heart, it is what it is

A truth I’m consciously aware of

Love defies mortal rhyme or reasons

And yet, it will reasonably rhyme

Like a divine harmonious song

And we play as parts of its chords

To make it sublime to us and others

And my affinity for someone may

Last a day or a lifetime- far beyond

I’ve loved beautifully and…tragically

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Poet of the Light © 2022

Inter-agent

Akin being born with an extra shadow

That instead dwells on the inside

Where I do battles for what’s right

Accordance and mood of my mind

And blurred mirror images of myself

With most of those times at a cost

Plus, emotional scars on my heart

So often- I’ve fallen on my sword

Protecting all those, I deeply love

Those with a disdain for who I am

My perfection isn’t perfect enough

So, they dress me down in my shame

And I reside out on the fringes of life

Far from view of their… darken eyes

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Poet of the Light © 2022

Salvaging

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Everyday a little more darkness

Slowly oozes away in pure silence

And I become a bit more resistant

To residual pain of your memories

Yet, I haven’t stopped all the tears

Every now and then my numbness

Feels a bit more of the new warmth

Each new day spills into my scars

I’ve gotten past the blame I placed

Upon myself for you being this way   

And I affirmed it wasn’t my love

That spoiled your dark bitter heart       

Someone else did that long before me

Just as you did mine… before leaving

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Poet of the Light © 2022

Numinous

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It was surrendering; not her

But for my essence at all once

How she coolly looked at me

Disarming all my keen senses

And my pretentious resistance

As if she just peered through me

Like some pane of imperfect glass

Exploring yet ignoring- obvious   

Flaws and my muddied clarities             

I felt entirely elated and fearful    

My two married emotions danced

Throughout my fiery imagination  

She’d no clue she touched my soul

The two last things… I expected   

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Poet of the Light © 2022