Category: missing someone

Forswear

I could unwantonly reside without you
If that is the tomorrow I’m bequeathed
Though it would be most bleak, at best
I’d refuse acceptance of the cold ambiance
Know darkness could never replace you
Nor could it ever become my friend
We’d be more like armistice adversaries
Coexisting only for the sake of silence
My sanity would surely be overly taxed
My heart- withering in desolate winds
Not even the Ravens would dare visit
Out of fear of getting lost in my madness
A man, an island to himself...still in love


Poet of the Light © 2020

Nightingale

I’ve acutely noticed

You’re missing from my days

And my heart deeply wishes

I was truly more magical

For…both of us.

.

Poet of the Light © 2020

Period of time

Love is a most fickle playmate

.

I used to love April the most

But time has passed in silence

And I’m falling for Winter now

.

Soft white ashes, like eye lashes

Brush innocently along my cheeks

And I’m moved, in a silent thunder

.

The sudden whisk of cold air passing

Unexpectedly steals my breath away

I’m lost for words, and so much too say

.

Walking aimlessly everyday, anywhere I go

I feel the sun rays rush of caressing warmth

Clasping my hand, as she quietly tag along

.

If I close my eyes just long enough

I can hear her whispers speaking

Promising me all her love to keep

.

I used to love April… but she left me in the summer.

.

Poet of the Light © 2020

Changed number

Three states, nine hundred miles apart

Been so long since we’d last talked

To be honest, I was a bit in shock

I can’t remember how many years

Or even the season or why you called

You just blurted out so nonchalantly

You’d just opened chilled Mogen David

Then you started dialing my number

As if you still knew me, after all this time

Maybe you never expected me to answer;

Like so many of those evaded questions?

I told you I still think of you all the time

Akin: I’m out trekking some mountainside

Chasing an invisible connection for my soul

And you followed- with a deep- long inhale

Just long enough to, stir up a little silence

Where I thought I heard your heart flutter

Like how your voice whispers my attention

But I was expecting, maybe a little more

I bit my lip and the suddenly you hung up

You were still able to bring hurt to my eyes

I tried to call you back but got your service

Your voice saying you’re out, “living it up”

I left a few messages, how we ought talk

But now I see all we ever accomplished

Was a craving love we left unfinished

Rode hard and put away in an odd silence

I think its time for maybe a new mountain

I’ve moved on to the factual realization

To know, is to hurt, what could’ve been…ours

Poet of the Light © 2020

Côtés

On the edge of spring’s promise

Strolling barefoot as if it were summer

Our fingers clasped, shoes around our necks

We set out like two foolish lovers

Ignoring the world, spoiled in love

Muddled footprints in cold damp sand

Leading to a pier where we quenched lust

Talking and kissing with euphony ripples

We were just a normal girl and boy at heart

Acting like we held all the answers

To questions we weren’t prepared for

Our best response was hugs and laughter

And importantly relying on one another

We whispered all our dreams

On fleeting rays of those rusty sun

Who knew, we’d stumble into

“I don’t care” for every question

Long before we went our separate ways

We should’ve held onto those sun-rays

And the one our love always counted on

Did you ever get, all you wished;

When you left me for him;

And life on the other side in greener pastures;

Before the start of my winter?

Its hard for me to know now, girl

A lifetime and realms apart

Unless you can still here my whispers

In this crispy silent suspension

Sitting here, on that same cold beach

My breath in the air, watching ice recede

Still living on the wrong side…of us

Poet of the Light © 2020

Past orally

Beneath a gray mattered skyline

When there are no givers taken

Like a shadow that peregrinates

Alongside unanswered heartbeats

He left a single set of footprints

Amongst threaded mud and snow

Squeaking of near frozen steel hinges

Echo out his obvious arriving presence

In an antique fading mirror, I see him

A heart shepherd with one mission

Maybe winds of change blew elsewhere

He stares nonchalantly out a window

A hefty pack clops on stained planks

Half filled with intangible mementos

A heavy mist plodders its way through

Surrounding sleeping mountain chasms

His hefty pack flops on stain planks

Half filled with intangible mementos

Her fingertips tease with his damp hair

Natural notions from cognitive wishes

To relive time with someone again

And purge the lonely cloak he wears

Chills wandered about my bones

As a lone fire snaps prismatic warmth

He hears the slowing of his own breath

Within his deafening environment

His lips eagerly grow drier by moments

Thirsting to be colorfully quenched

The nighest thing to cathartic music

Be that of the creaking wood cabin

Old cold timbers pressuring its nails

Prelude to slow acclimating comfort

Scented candle wisps mask staleness

Hidden in the visible dusty blanket

Moving daylight gives way to night

Not that he’d notice much difference

Tawny colored bottle offers itself

As a placebo for all that ails you

Undauntedly it continues to age

Staring into his hands empty palm

Closing his eyes to feel her clasp

Oh, time is cruel in loves absence

But circumspectly never as cruel as

Seemingly absent when…love is present

Poet of the Light © 2020

Felled petals

I admit, it stills exist

In the midst of midnight hours

I’m waken every now and again

By some connected unknown force

Only to end up gently sipping

On steamy insipid coffee in my hand

Where I catch myself sleepily staring

In present with moonlit darkness

At those sworn walls of secrets

Buried like treasure beneath

Seemingly an unblemished surface

Boasting itself a new color

Somehow, I think you’d approve

Life’s strangeness and its ever-changes

That took place, in this room

Since those ole blushing times

When you were too fast for even time

To stop and think things through

And the more your anger thought

The greater that fire within grew

The walls that shattered flying glass

Remained just as scarred as our past

All the painful things you done and said

We both knew hurt and were never true

But all that messy time aside

I can sometimes hear whispers

Of your voice, however- faint

Its reverberation unlocks my restraints

Chills overcome my body

My eyes flood with unyielding tears

I can almost feel you touch me, Darling

Like after you’d stop and realized

Your shaky hands and desperate grip

Somethings were beyond your control

How hard, how hard we both tried

To acclimate the rest of the world to us

As we stood embraced in a torn near silence

A testament to life’s unwanted perplexities

Praying to reclaim, who we were, once

Oh, you were the blossom of a lifetime

Unfurling loves naked vulnerability, to me

Perfect imperfection in too short a life

A colorful and giving essence

Whenever you opened yourself up

But like all perfect divine petals

You were tied to human reality

Grasping for air, as all flames do

In an unchangeable destiny

And as we’ve both came to learn

Sometimes Angels have to fall hard

To live love reborn…as Butterflies

Poet of the Light © 2020

    Fallen

    As a child, I danced in make-believe

    And always felt reverence for my God

    Wandered about as if life was never-ending

    I felt all the prismatic colors of life

    Tasted heavens golden grains of time

    And played in dreams of my imagination

    I seen strangeness of snow in summer

    Lost my breath in a second of a cold gray dawn

    Freely watched the miracle of life, birthed before me

    But God knows freedom, is anything but free

    Especially when it indiscriminately takes you away

    From where and who you really want to be- with

    Nothing seems any more terrifying

    When you feel, you’ve fallen off the edge

    Of the life you once had, with them back then

    You leave behind empty whiskey bottles

    Instead of dusty footprints for others to follow

    Where you’ve been and where you’re going next

    Everything changes; and feels so different

    You feel the hurt, each time ocean waves break

    But you’ve become too numb to feel the wind or rain

    Sunshine, no longer matters anymore

    Because all its true colors, really came from

    People you loved and adored, before it got darker

    It ain’t no wonder, so many give up

    On both life, unending love and beliefs

    When you’re drowning in nothing like it was…back when

    Poet of the Light © 2020

    Desort

    We’d clung to each-other like mortal enemies

    Failing to understand it was instinctual survival

    Our love stumbled in many cruel ways

    Even breathing became a daily struggle

    Until it all became- a bridge too far

    Too far to see through a sorrowful fog

    Or even beyond one more suffering hour

    Then came that proverbial road and fork

    And our feeble blind ego’s lead us astray

    While our heartfelt promises, disintegrating

    From everything our love once was

    Forever altering our own senseless selves

    All that once mattered, now- extinct

    I stood alone, my mind and heart, numb

    I was a soul gyroscope out of control

    My sense of direction, you- noticeably absent

    Confusion filled the void of lost understandment

    And as a new reality was giving birth

    Your fleeting footsteps echoed into silence

    The fork and bridge had both long, disappeared

    I was reborn into torn collateral subsistence

    We’d become a loves magical tragedy

    Written by our own or changed choices

    Becoming sad and slow vanishing memory

    Yet, unexpected things that stick with you

    Suddenly arising at most queer of times

    I can recall even today, my confusing state

    Was the scent of fresh rain on hot blacktop

    Even though it hadn’t rained in weeks

    Maybe more to perplex us or divine distraction

    But still- after all we encountered

    Even after all we managed to destroy

    I could still be profoundly moved, shattered- really

    By your own volition, you chose to go

    Upon hearing you’d lost your way, and your life

    You found the end of your own destiny

    From however happenstances it may have come

    Tears overflowed my human eyes

    And a part of me quickly felt guilty, self condemned

    As if- I hadn’t done enough to save you, now or then

    From yourself, from us, from love or times hands

    I knew I loved you enough, to let you go

    Find a new true love bathed in fresh freedom, hope

    Somehow I still thought I overlooked something

    When truth is, true love never really…goes

    Poet of the Light © 2020