Beyond seasons

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April rainy showers came early

The sun always seemed absent

Yet, the grass and flowers grew

But a love I had, I let slip away

.

I stumbled throughout my days

Thinking only about November

All the fun in snowy mountains

I could still feel on my fingertips

.

Some seasons never seem to change

And some never seem to go away

But love is much more than a season

Once your heart moves into forever

.

I’ll secretly love that loss girl forever

And her real name was … November

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Fibs of love   

Waking up zombified at midnight

Trying to clear a day from my eyes

Watching TV shows that I keep muted

.

Reading yesterday’s edition pre-dawn

I still haven’t put a pot of coffee on

Few things I haven’t gotten used to yet

.

Mountain view lunch on my tailgate

Scenery doesn’t add the missing flavor

Wondering silently how I made up here

.

Feels like snow will be returning soon

Can’t believe I’m still this wide awake

Chores to catch up on, but they’ll wait

.

I had to drop in to see you again today

I know that I promised you I wouldn’t

I lost my way… when you passed away

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Without

I’ve never wanted to burden you

And I do understand what it is like

Navigating the perils of one’s life  

I know I have many a time or two

.

I’ve chosen the folds of lone silence

To breakdown- without any witness

Few will understand my real why’s

And even fewer might dare to care

.

I cannot be your hero if you’re mine

Beyond measure or any known words

Which is why I speak from my heart

I know, you know it’s what I do best

.

We’re beset by miles our love overrides

Still, it’s the hardest…I’ve had to survive

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Heartsake

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I see now, I’ve been mistaken

All this time I thought memoirs

Of our love played eloquently

In my mind when I felt lonely

That is not the truth borne out  

Foolishly I limited love- itself

Your love in fact, stays at play

It remains imbedded within me

Every full breath of its existence

That- that is what sustains me     

Giving my existence its purpose

Vivid touches imbuing my heart      

Your precious love in continuation

Lives in my soul for… reunification

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Indistinguishable

One horrendous of caustic places

Can be propounded within- lulls

Of storms, fires and even at seas

Subtle centeredness as our new life             

When love just vacates one’s heart

Our lives can then become much like

Long sleepiness in the artic twilight

Never being fully light, nor full dark

And where we freeze concept of time

Loss of earlier intimate conversations

Missed awareness of our own selves

And numb to missed gentle touches

Melting of those once vibrant dreams

Falling victim in … passing moments

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Sheers

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It’s so dark now inside

I often find late at night

When I can’t sleep- at all

Barefoot, I walk down that hall

Then down the stairs

To a living room, that doesn’t

Sit down in your chair

Trying to recapture bits of you

Draped in nothing but the moon

To ease the chills, I still feel

That shadow me in your absence

Inside my sad eyes, tears still swell

As my heart breaks in silence

I’m slowly dying … and falling   

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Belonged   (epic)

The stars slowly come out

Can’t help but notice-

I swear my soul is badly torn

It’s not supposed to be like this- at all

And yet this is what reality does

Life kept changing our promising plans

And no matter what we did

There was always something else

As if some unseen force to hampered them

World wind romances take a chance

Until they foolishly burn themselves out

But we never entertained any doubt

Once we found- each other’s heart   

Now come these queer times

If only I could’ve stalled time

If only I could’ve stalled time

If only- I could’ve when you were here

Sitting along beside who I am

My overwrought heart bleeds in tears

And then I just don’t feel like

I fit right inside my own skin

Painful thoughts lost in you

Return like some dark vengeance

Emotion’s rush all throughout me

With nowhere else to flow

Reminding me- I’m here now- alone

Maybe love itself let us both down?

I’m terrified to avoid my feelings

Afraid I’ll lose our best connections

We never feared growing old together

We were astutely for sure

We were loves perfection in motion  

Now only one of us- sits here

Can’t understand what went awry

So, I close my eyes trying to hide

Inside memories I’m envisioning

All the love we created back then

Slow burning the moments together

Always seen living love, holding hands

When the two of us were all, we needed  

It started with laughter of your smiles

I swear they always changed my world

Floating high within a drifting zephyr

That always set my heart on fire  

Within unforgettable scent of your skin

Caressing mine like they were silly kisses

Now, I hear your lost whispers returning

My tears…wish I could feel them in my ears

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Sudden

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On a bright sunny morning

All the colors abruptly muted

And your presence, just absent

I looked high and low- alone

There were no signs anywhere

Why you left or where you’d gone

Darkness of night came to stay

I welcomed having any company

Lost inside some place unknown

I wadded deep in our memories

Then swam the depths of despair

Trying desperately to recapture

Everything when we were in love

All I found was myself…empty  

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Ripple effect

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No day has been the same since

Or my moonless nights or sunsets

I’m filled with chills and cold

I’ve lost my sense of self control

Without guidance of your presence

At times I have to close my eyes

In hopes that I might just find

Some answer I haven’t heard yet

From many of your faint whispers

Still lingering within my heart

That might offer some direction

What to do next- before I cry and

Die again inside another moment

Without you here … to hold onto

.

Poet of the Light © 2021