Too good

Like magic

We were there

Where love lives forever

Inside each other’s hearts

For unknown reasons we got scared

So, we ran away from each other

And the magic disappeared

But never left our hearts

How I dream of us then

How I dream of there

I wish I didn’t regret

I wish we had it again

I wish you still loved me like that

Cause my love…came back

Ink blots

Like a young naïve sparrow

A magnet for who gets hurt

They say I am being foolish

I always give them a chance

And see who treats me right

But so far all I have learned

Is coldness of a dead hearts

I know the death of my trust

And just how long it takes

To recover back into this life

And the rust of their words

Sill leaves a taste of bitterness

Remnant gifts of their dark love

When shadows finally…move on

Chilling currents

So far and yet so close

There in your final dark hour

I could feel the heart of my soul

Being rented from its place

And I know, it will never heal

Like emptiness echoes breathless

Everything drowns in the silence

I am sometimes haunted by the sounds

That I will not hear aloud- anymore

And the cold is as close as I can get

To touch something in the present

Something in the stillness of the air

Where my wishes and prayers- linger

Love is just incapable of… shutting off

Misty notes

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I’d watch my breath- dissipate

As I sat out in the twilight fog

The burbling brook playing notes

Shivering myself near half dead

Memories and emotions burned on

Whispering thoughts of you in the air

Secretly praying you’d get them

Hopefully, before they lose their way

No one ever mattered as much as you

I always thought you were an angel

And if I were to tell the gospel truth

It is a hell of a thing to lose- as a human

I can see the colors of dawn coming on

I really could use a warm hug… love me

Capacity

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I have learned what to say

And how I must appear

I paint the smiles on my face

Avoid conversations I do not want to hear

Every day serves as a reminder

Is that not enough to endure

I do not like what has been changed

Or who I am becoming

The only thing that remains, is the hurt

Nothing is as it should be to me

I never expected this

That life would be so caustic

I cannot shut off what I feel

It is the only thing proving this… is real

Used to believe

Thought I was running away from you

I just ran from what you do- to me

Until one day my weary shadow

Finally took the time to tell me the truth

I was running from myself

And everything I could become

Running from the illusion I thought I was

But mostly, everything I never could be

Believing only in others’ make-believe

Believing that I was never good enough

Believing in all the shameful ugliness

Like- I could never be loved

Now I fully understand, I’m better than that

And today I love me… just as I am

Coeur à coeur

Out of the moon’s witnessing

I humbly wept upon my knees

My essence, weary and broken

As days, weeks- years passed by

Time after time, I was tempted

To become angry and lay blame

To point- at the world at large

My rented heart hushed my ego

I evaded my own tragic selfishness

I sequester myself from the world

I closed my eyes in contemplation

As I sat alone in the darken silence

Finally, I requested an audience

Whispers answered… I am here!

Victor’s

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(When you find the courage to forgive the world, you must also forgive yourself.)

Finally, after all this time

We are here, face to face in truth

Smiling at this opportunity

Look how far we traveled broken

Separated by unfair circumstances

Neither of us could control , but we tried

One of us was always- letting go

Trying to keep those battle scars whole

Trying to survive, trying to do right

And here we are now in triumph

There is nothing needing to deny- anymore

It is our time to reconnect as we once were

We have been waiting to live love

My mind and heart have overcome… reunited

Connectively

There is no way to reach you connectively

Though you have had a profound effect on me

And while I know it was not all our fault

I have still forgiven everything- anyway

You reside inside another realm

Someplace I cannot afford to be part of

Even though it breaks my heart- in two

It is ok, I love you from my soul- anyway

I had hoped so much more for both of us

There was so much more we could have been

But life and time can be cruel teachers

I will cherish all the good times we shared

In reflection of my eye, I see shadows of our past

You will always be my brother… anyway

Taxis

These sonnets akin to my leaves

Written words by a voice in me

Slowly I’ve resigned to let go

Of my untold stories, I know

Some are written by my pain

Some are written for a change

Some are written in my blood

Some are written just because

Some are written by my shame

Some are words I can’t explain

Some are written in my tears

Some took me many of years

Everything comes in due time

My soul… whispers their flight

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