Category: depression

Magnetism

 

Contrary to realities truth

I know I shouldn’t

But I never listened well

Even as a rebel child

A natural born aberration

I make myself, slip-

As I sip from the abyss

Just one more time

Ignoring my inner voice, for yours

As if- I’ve really no choice

Anticipation heighten moments

As that rush gently takes hold

Until its too sheepishly late

And my mind, vividly convulses

So- cold, all these memories

But I’m acclimating

To the ghost you’ve become

To me, and my dependent heart

So much so- I rarely shiver

When I close my eyes

As feel your moist whispers

Creep across my bare skin

Chase after my erupting emotions

And like a churning kaleidoscope

All my monochrome brokenness

Is colorfully in energetic motion

Feeling healed, feeling loved

A synthetic euphoria steals me

Into the dark hole, desperate fantasy

For a few moments, I feel you… again

Poet of the Light © 2019

Inclement

 

At times, I experience dark storms

That just unexpectedly blow in

From seemingly out of nowhere

Despite a promising dawns break

Which was ushered in, cloudless

 

I do my best as to hunkering down

From experience time has taught

A bit more prepared on each event

Never knowing how long it will last

Unsure if rain or snow will also follow

 

I’ve learned to embrace them in stride

Though there are pain filled moments

Damaged- memories radiating from scars

Pretending to appear healed- to others

For those of us who’ve been really hurt

 

I cling to the belief, love will reclaim me one-day

A love filled with understandment- forgiveness

But still- inside those darker moments, I wonder

Just how my life and lasting love could’ve been

Had I not been altered, become; collateral damage

 

For me,

just living love would truly be…enough

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Simon-pure

 

Zephyrs filled with voices come

Some idealistic yet others musical

Their wake speaks the loudest truth

 

Like a neglected child- who lays

Upon the peripherals edge of day

I’ve come to fully embrace darkness

As if it were- my own sacred blanket

 

Where my pretentious best friend

Is merely echoes of what I’ve said

During my heartfelt vesper whispers

Reflecting the life as an enlightened

 

In that way I further pretend, I matter

To someone who’s out truly- looking

But will never find me…without a heart

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Undyed

 

Watching others

Talking and laughing

As finger intertwine each other

Until they hurt me;

Here- in this moment

An unseen bloodied battlefield

Tearing at me visually, invisibly

Oh! how I feel you reining

Inside my cloaked insecurity

I’m blind and feeling so tiny

My tears- slowly fall

Blood drops of my hurt soul

Telling a story of their own

Truths of born fools

For those foolish enough

To dare a loves, cruel loss

Like I do- in shadows of you

Where all my defenses are stripped

If only- you’d take me

From these chaotic moments

In your missed mystical ways

Back to a life of our love

We both know in reality

I’m never going to change

Not my nature or my motive

When I follow where my heart leads

They’re simply untamable

By anyone, that’s not going to be, you

I belong only in the midst

Where acceptance found me at my best

Unashamedly au naturel

Beneath a singing moon

Slipped neatly in-between

Folds of your hearts rhythmic beat’s

Embraced; moments of silent comfort

Of your gentle breathes and…loving arms

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Cortège

 

Adoring clopping of feet

Razzmatazz music plays

Through a thorny pathway

Markers- left unattended

It was a somber procession

All my memories in full tow

One after the other, slow-ly

Stepping like dead heartbeats

Across a barren heartscape

Leaving scarred fractures

Like spiderwebs, haunting

And their sound, echo-less

I’ve yet to toss my handful

Of dearth, in final acceptance

Our love had finally passed

But you always knew it would

Long before you fleeting on

Neglected: truth I must profess

You never came for its wake

Don’t worry, few did anyways

Never offering one last kiss

Your last, still ghostly enough

Nor sent a flower arrangement

In stillness, our love missed…you

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Onesie

 

Where to could I go;

Worn out now after you?

Who would want me now

After being tossed aside

As if I- became worthless

All because you deemed it so

 

Who could fill your void;

Albeit proven-cold and cruel?

Echoes of your condemnation

Still reverberate here daily

In laughter’s, as well as words

Who wouldn’t want that- erased?

 

I now agree, I was never your one

Someone who could give, endlessly

After all, you used all I was anyways

That’s your modus operandi, right?

Killing love and hearts in your wake

And I- was just another foolish…one

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Coquette

 

Echoes resound within echoes

My tattered empire has fallen

And the pretentious have fled

Even all sentient dust- settled

As time obtusely ticks waywardly

My breath still lives, in winds

Like whispers of love fleeting

That breezes through now and then

These skeletal remains, of all I was

That infamous caged source of my love

Was beating a rhythmic flame of desire

Before- she ripped it out all its colors

Her cold words acted like evil hands

And despair clouded in as an overcast

Adorned with ghostly images of her

Pernicious has stolen hopes throne

My frayed faith resting on the ground

Within the massive footprint…she’s left

 

Poet of the Light © 2019