Eclipsion

The winds changed

Unexpectedly

Thunder rips through the quiet

Clouds huddle and frightened

It wants to rain

But the drops won’t fall

Almost, but not at all

I’m broken

But I already know that

I write you letters

But no place to send them

I’m hoping

You’ll truly understand

Why I just can’t… let go

Cherishables

Between the distance and silence

There lives a hollowness to subsist

Where fires burn from held memories

Of older days that have passed

But live forever in our hearts

Like whispers without shadows

Only our souls can interpret

I tried to spare you some pain

Even if it came, at my own expense

But I was totally oblivious

That you were doing the same

Sometimes the price of love

Comes at our greatest tax

And that’s what makes it… beautiful

Owned

Who am I now-

With only your memories

To hold me close again

You know it hurts inside

But darling I can’t lie

I’d rather live with the pain

Then live without anything

So long as it reminds me, of you

Just the way I’m made I guess

All heart and still a mess

Just the way you found me

Blood and tears on my sleeve

And a craving that keeps me

Hypnotized to love I’ve known

Oh, your kiss stole my soul

But I don’t mind it at all, baby

Truth be told, even in silence

So long as you come in my dreams

Reminding me of all those times

We laid side by side at night

Nothing to cover us up

But our own moist whispers

And dim sighs …of moonlit kisses

Worn

It’s a very strange feeling really

Like suddenly your own clothes

Feel most uncomfortable to wear

Some too tight, others too loose

Or style is a bit too antiquated

While simultaneously not having

Any desire for new clothes at all

Grief does rather peculiar things

To people, time, and to life itself

Mundane has its own attractions

As the gap between you and loss

Widens with each passing second

You soberly realize missed things

Are becoming too late…to endeavor

Disparity

Random times it’s like losing you

From the very beginning- again

The pit in my stomach widens

And life just suddenly falls in it

Even time itself seems impacted

My breath goes shallow, shortened

Ignorant denial wants to deceive me

Days remain dimmer and hollow

My heart clings to cherished memories

Created in real-time and laughter’s

Whispers of one-sided conversations

Are now some of my better moments

Though they’re oft spoken with tears

They’ll never compare…to authenticity

Growth

Photo by Evgeny Tchebotarev on Pexels.com

Where Eagles glide on faith

Where sunrays are prismatic

Where raindrops are quenching

Where snowflakes are distinctive

Where poppy fields never die

Where lush grasses cover mountainsides

Where dreams stretch higher

Where children swing on laughter’s

Where all chasms are bridged

Where the sun meets its shadows

Where lakes are a truly reflective

Where sandy beaches are inviting

Where rivers of truth flow forever

Where a casting moon showers

Where lost hearts rediscover love

Where tears are replaced by smiles

Where gentle hands are caring

Where fingertips are for painting

Where trees sway in endless breezes

Where sadness drift away like tumbleweeds

Where our cherished memories are relived

Where wrongs are only futile

Where rights are what’s normal

Where nothing remains the same, continually

Where grief becomes suspended

Where death of all life is abated

Where every day’s go on and on

Where you have gone… I will follow’

a/k/a Daddy…

Deliverances

I know it’s wintertime here

Even snow has fallen a few times

But it’s colder than it should feel

As I stand here alone waiting

Tears are falling from my eyes

But that’s no big surprise, is it?

Imagining you here too

I think about all the things I’d say

Like I love you endlessly child

And thank you for being a blessing

I know I never felt safer than

When we were together laughing

Or the warmth of your embrace

The promise of daybreak peeks

Over the horizon just slightly

And my heart beats a bit faster

Cause I believe you hear me talking

Tell me, show me- somehow

You’re happy and better now

We can both make-believe together

Just like when you were a child dancing

The light breaks through my tears

Like a thousand waves crashing

In this secret seat of silence

I feel the breeze wrap around me

With the warmth of all your memories

And now I can’t stop crying

As all my fears slowly lay down

Believing you’re found… in every dawn

Pitfalls

Most of these last three weeks

Have been pretty much a blur

The weather casually changed

It tried snowing and got colder

I used to secretly welcome snow

For me, winter is a sacred season

Far too many people overlooked

I paid no attention to its occurring

Nor did I find enjoyment of flakes

Life went about its own business

While I remained mostly reluctant

My thoughts became more pensive

For the soul of my lost inspiration

Only residing now…in remembrances

Abstruse

Not a day passes that I don’t

Question, why didn’t I notice

What you weren’t saying to me

Have I grown just too obtuse

And comfortable in my solitude

That I was deaf to your needs?

I felt it was a mistake to leave

Did those miles in-between- us

Damage my fatherly instincts?

Oh, I feel I’ve failed the very one

That always attentively listened

And been there during my needs

Only you and God know it now

As I alone silently wrestle …without

Detoured

I’m reminded of the times

You pulled me from darkness

Where life left me stranded

Steeped in unknown fringes

You reflected a strength

That I once herald myself

Before the scars I bare now

And long before your birth

I still recall our conversations

Where you inspired me onward

Hugged hope back into my heart

Wiped away my fallen tears

Modeling unconditional love

That separates us… for now

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