Betwixt

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It’s like a draught of some odd type

Here I am, still trying, trying to swim

In puddles of shallow waters, I’ve left

Getting nowhere fast, in thick muck

.

Those bitter waters are draining away

Leaving me a wreck in all my todays

And all of my fresh hopes I still have

Are draining away too, into their last

,

Did I miss my course along the way?

Or was a curse exactly where I headed

Steering blind into a charted storms eye

Believing I ‘ve founded my own island

.

I never really wanted to be a lost Pirate

Just a pilot for my hearts… lasting heaven

.

Poet Of the Light © 2021

X-factors

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Have I done love itself all wrong;

In my most immature of nature;

Or has love wronged all my heart;

Thereby breaking my inner spirit?

.

Tis too confounding of many variables

For me, for I will not be controlled

And controlled offered me no quenching

For any craving that simply acquiesces  

.

Perhaps the environment was wrong

Or the sun too high on those rainy days

Where my shadow got lost, along the way

Perhaps that is why I thrive in darkness?

.

How I’ve thirsted for what I should not

A found lost friend that knew me not … at all

.

Poet of the Light © 2021  

Boundless

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Oh! how easy it has come for me
Almost like second nature, taking first
To beat emotions with wordy cudgels 
Mentally, senselessly again and again
As if- that individual was a virgin drum
In desperate need of renewed breaking in 
And heightening even more all this mess 
Intoxicating pain served, as my new love 
It’s so much quicker to just hurt myself 
Let me save you from the duty of scaring 
My whole identity and inner self-worth  
Saving you from the burden of … your love 

Poet of the Light © 2021 

Non causa pro causa

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Points of views; professional or layman’s 
Can be deceiving and further distorting 
WE are all fallible at any given moment  
Dreams can be as inebriating as cathartic  
To vividly live beyond one’s own boundaries
Even in an imaginary bubble of sleep like 
Offer us insight we’ve unconsciously impeded 
Can create motivation to pursue past obstacles
Serve as a focus point and real sense of direction 
Unless- the dreams are beyond one’s ability
Beyond any practical means of achieving
Remember, the snowflake effect is actually real
And can just as easily burry us under context 
Well then, dreams become the drunken issue
Where we start living life only in dreams 
And stop paying attention to real opportunities 
Only to struggle in the real world, as a failure
A version of yourself, you play for everyone else 
Compounding, conflating and disorienting- us
Dreams are beautiful when realistic and honest
Or- like some drug filled life of disappointments
A means of sabotaging ourselves because we adopt 
Rational and reasoning from others; ignoring ours
Only to consume life, foolishly wasting it away 
By crossing over bridges of resentment and jealousy
Right after we torch the very foundation of them 
Conveniently inventing our excuses well in advance 
So much effort, for crumbs of someone else leftovers 
That, they may never even had wanted to begin with 
Remember that life is filled with bad accomplices 
Insecurely offering us cursory encouragements  
We must be our greatest arbiters, in every moment 
Not suggesting we settle for less than: achievable 
But we must identify our own true limitations  
Merely stating reality deserves our full integrity
And as such, shouldn’t we deserve our full attention? 
Be it about our finances, health, or introspection
Break the mirror, dare to shatter those illusions 
And have an unconditional conversation within 
I find, our duty: being the best self … we’ll accept 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 


Angst

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As if on cue to my insecure wounds 
Shadows appear, but only at night
Like flickers of nefarious flames 
As they hunt and prance about 
I find there’s nowhere to escape 
I shyly peek out- from beneath 
That thin layer of false shielding
That separate all them- from me  
Whilst preparing to inspire myself
To save all that is left vulnerable
As my heart pitter-patters loudly 
And in my immature clumsiness   
I know, I’ve slayed those monsters
At least a thousand different ways 
Yet somehow-they remain ever present
And return once again, just as lively  
Which axiomatically begs the question: 
What part maybe purely all delusion?
So as to fully embrace… the reality I’m left  

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 

Oppositeness

 

Love is a dangerous luxury

We oft lose in casual choices

Falsely believing, we own it

Liken an old watch we wear

When and if we’re feeling so

Ignorant that they can both

Suddenly just turn on a dime

Or simply…not turn for us at all

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Scuttlebutt

There’s a thousand different ways

I could spin it, slant its effect

My version of what happened

But truth has a way of seeping out

Even in depictions we try to hide

From the world and ourselves

Only a fool would dare bother- now

 

It seemed a bit odd and yet

Fashionably accepting, for even us

Maybe even too accepting

To look forward to a bit later

Like hours later, each night

As being some quick triumph

And then again further onwards

As in like tomorrow morning

Being somehow the new summit

To aim for, to conquer if but only

In the space in our convoluted minds

As far as getting over- it all, again

While we steep- in muck

 

Maybe in some foolish respects

That kind of mess we lived

Replaced what we had- and lost

And thereby replaced reality

Any sense of normalcy or love

And getting from here to there

In love was all a bit more perfunctory

Like breathing, unnotably

In our most mundane of daily’s

 

Perhaps along our heart’s pathway

We lost what it meant to be us

What it meant to love one another

When we threw the compass overboard

And simply headed to new horizons

Braving those head on waves

Unconcerned of the weather or hunger

As our souls simply sought

To bestow something greater to another

Without concern of what we might gain

Lacking any fear of landing anywhere

Least of all- here, in this place- today

 

All I know now, was in that moment

When our ship of love went down

Was seeing your image swim away

Until you were merely a mirage fading

You- never looked back once

I’d bet my life you would, I would’ve lost

Oddly, I feel now as if I won

 

I clung on the mast, and our loves flag

As I choked on waves of bitter truth

My body, my mind slowly grew numb

Floating off in the tide’s changing currents

Almost as if I remained, in nights darkness

Never setting anywhere close to-a bit later

As if they were tiny islands of refuge

That we had become so accustomed to

Until the charity of a drier shoreline

Bequeathing granules of time, spilt over

Offered me a place far from the wreckage

Of that shattered little sailboat of- us

Where the illusion of love existed

Far more than reality of love…for one of us

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Understandably

Love- is not painful by nature

Human perversion does that

Taking away its unique beauty

In order to claim ownership

Of love itself, all that it derives

Crudely etching one’s inscription

Across some fabric of delusion

 

Pain itself is discreetly infused

When the enchanted emotions

Of love is discolored, then abused

Only those who wish to misuse love

Would dare promote its wreckage

As being a necessity in loves quest

When the truth is, love only- loves

And humans, well they do the rest

 

Lust is who wears that false face

The true thief, of human hearts

Boldly stealing what otherwise

It could never obtain- or touch

Dragging us all most unwittingly

Into depths of sheer darkness

After tethering our deep fears

Submerged, we’re wet embers

 

It is there, in that dark palace

Where we are left abandoned

Far from where love intended

And the only thing we dare rein

Is our own infected imagination

Whilst our hearts beat onward

Its distinct song in silent hope

Our true lover will come along

And rescue us and truth of…love

 

Poet of the Light © 2019