Penrose

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There was a shift in our universe

Its appearance was even dimmer

Music became indistinguishable

We both noticed but said nothing

I believed instinctively we knew

More and more effort was required

As we tried to recapture that- us

First, I thought it was me being off

Then I thought it was really you

I was right in part on both counts

But not for the reasons concluded

Turns out, we were really good at

Misleading each other; survivalist

Truth was, we never really had … us

Pensively

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I’ve discarded too many things

Over the course of my lifetime

I dare say the greatest was, me

Liken a colorless harden cover

That blends into the mundane

There’s a great deal to discover

Beneath the essence of myself

A half-lived life, half-lived lie

Often peeking through the pall

Trying to determine which side

Is reality and which is fantasy

Not that I really have a choice

Or mystical ticket for the other

But if I did, I’d live it all…truer

Surrenders

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At times- sorrow is all I have

Missing you is an understatement

I’ve never before admitted this

Once an hour I lose my breath

As I drown in thoughts of you

Sometimes I let your memories

Capture me and hold me…under

Moot

Broken notes play in my soul

I walk past the grey-filled window

Wind is blowing snowflakes hard

And I can feel the added chills

Almost- as if they were waiting

The winter sun isn’t shing, anymore

I stumble down a silent hall

Then I halfheartedly sit on the bench

I tease ivory keys that tease my heart

Honestly, I never did learn to play

Sometimes life gets in the way

But that ain’t my excuse, anymore

I feel the notes touch, I feel the words

I’m not sure what that’s worth

I could write a million sad songs

But really what’s the use now

After love ran out- a lifetime ago

And loves warmth turn cold, anymore

They claim, life is like is like a stage

We’re all just substitute characters

We make up our own lines and lies

And all of us must play our roles

No matter how the dice is rolled

But I just don’t feel like it… anymore

Pointless

I feel breakage of oceans waves

Like them I’m trying to escape

Something bigger than myself

Cause I know I’m afraid of failure

You’ve whispered into my heart

And your voice echoes in my head

Like a song you just can’t forget

Nothing I do- changes any of this

Within the foggy midst of the nights

I walk along damped sandy shores

Where my tracks are quickly erased

To hide that I’m walking in circles

I’m pretending love is out of the question

Then I keep regretting my … pretensions

Consequently

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We were a fantasy come to life

I held onto you, you held onto me

We took that proverbial plunge

Flew so effortlessly on love wings

Until you’ve became so preoccupied

And slowly we’ve began our descent

Falling out of trust, losing our grip

Somewhere along the way we lost

What we love the most- about us

All those little nuances we possess

And I’ve been bleeding ever since

I keep holding on, giving all, I have

I simply can’t hold out much longer

You’re killing us… by a thousand cuts

Maintenance-free

I resign that, I was created a certain way

For a certain set of unknown reasons

Till my skills are required in their moments

Which are often performed as impromptu

Like a refined humanized, self-fine tuner

Albeit, they’ve have aided my triumphs

However, they’ve also aided in my downfalls

I’m sure in my biased mind, I’d like to think

In some divine math it simply balances me

In a quaint fashion … I’ll never understand

Impulsiveness

Not all of us will or can escape

Tragedies stalking us as prey

Most use a vociferous fashion

Psychological tactic for pleasure

Some simply mimic a mere whisper

Formless to our blind forefront

Calamities birth collateral damage

Survivors will be truly scarred

Too often in more ways than one

But none as badly as our hearts

Adolescent love rarely survives

Unleashed everchanging hormones

That run ruck shot over any logic

Seeking to temper their… force of nature

Betwixt

It’s like a draught of some odd type

Here I am, still trying, trying to swim

In puddles of shallow waters, I’ve left

Getting nowhere fast, in thick muck

Those bitter waters are draining away

Leaving me a wreck in all my todays

And all of my fresh hopes I still have

Are draining away too, into their last

Did I miss my course along the way?

Or was a curse exactly where I headed

Steering blind into a charted storms eye

Believing I ‘ve founded my own island

I never really wanted to be a lost Pirate

Just a pilot for my hearts… lasting heaven

X-factors

Have I done love itself all wrong;

In my most immature of nature;

Or has love wronged all my heart;

Thereby breaking my inner spirit?

Tis too confounding of many variables

For me, for I will not be controlled

And controlled offered me no quenching

For any craving that simply acquiesces

Perhaps the environment was wrong

Or the sun too high on those rainy days

Where my shadow got lost, along the way

Perhaps that is why I thrive in darkness?

How I’ve thirsted for what I should not

A found lost friend that knew me not … at all

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