Hertogeneity

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I may have been the next Holden Caulfield

But life intervened in a charitable fashion

That’s not to say that I hadn’t been affected

By things I experienced, witnessed, or lived

Clearly, I’d be one of the first to fully admit

People let you down, though it’s uncertain

If each time it was intentionally motivated

I error on the side of caution, to believe not

If I am truly the product of my environment

Who is it by name, to fault, to seek recompense?

What would any of that gain me now, so late;

A dying flower will still wilt away, will it not?

Rather than become an imaginary inky character

I became the outcome of myself… in real life

Bullies

PAMPLONA, SPAIN – JULY 11: (Photo by Denis Doyle/Getty Images)

I honestly replayed our actions

Failing to understand all of this

Then thought I might write you

But to what avail would follow

When we’ll both remain at odds

As further and deeper wounds

Will ensue our bruised hearts

We’re clearly beset by our logic

However emotionally coincided

Insensitive ears never do listen

Just as blind eyes fail at reading

There’s no middle road to be found

When you’d prefer to run over me

Cynics shouldn’t drive… anything

Waywardness

I’ve traveled so far, so long

Amongst palisades of darkness

Left unseen by my blindness

My boots muddied and rent

Too heavy until discarded

Freshness became unveiled

Now- it is here- before me

A pathway for my bare feet

My footprints fit it perfect

Each step lighter than the last

The forest became enchanting

Warmth of the risen sun radiates

Whispers of breezes on my face

I’m safe- in my way…to home

Be causal

Maturity- is not time fixed

But my ego never knew this

Required changes took place

Cause I once needed to be seen

Or needed to be heard aloud

Craved to be believed or loved

I’ve reached my summit- of self

Humbled by silence observantly

Where I then understood greater

All that I was not– ignorantly

Realizing my home was the valley

Where lush lives live by necessity

Where I’ve become in authenticity

To thrive in my own… genuineness

Duty of truth

I’ve searched my erstwhile times

When I had a love affair with life

Like a child’s prepubescent crush

On someone in walls of silence

Where even my soul celebrated

And I was devoid of responsibilities

But time ushered in newer knowledge

Often in those lackluster lessons

Where I learned about authentic

And genuine held separate distinctions

Love is a mature act all its own

But far too often nefariously misused

Conflating preference, with loves actions

As children when adults… know better

Sunsets

I felt a flow of abeyance today

Lingering off the near horizon

In an unexpected conversation

Between implied and inferences

Where notice of frayed teethers

Were being taught a bit tighter

Straining corroding tie points

Aspects feel a tug now and then

Things age within their lifetime

Just as some lifetimes are shorter

And some become more corroded

So now, I must prepare- myself

For razor-sharp words to speak

And a wounded heart to… bleed

Fall of Summer (triple sonnet)

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You came into my life

Swept me over unexpected

Like ocean waves, we swam in

Laid on the beaches happy

Love blossomed well

Locked inside each other’s arms

I could believe what I was living

And it all felt so fantastic

Oh! You owned my heart girl

And tethered my very soul

The sun rose every morn in your eyes

And fell at night in your whispers

Oh! Summer, you became all my seasons

Until the eclipse of him… came along

Feeling too close we pulled apart

Struggle to breathe anything familiar

Till we lost each other’s names

Whenever we complained- out loud

Never thought we go that far

Become something else

Something outside ourselves

Oh! but the winds changed

Followed by frosty morns

And single cold nights

Then the rains became snow

And our hearts just froze

Our love shattered like ice

And we finally said… goodbye

If only I had known

How much you really meant

I might’ve loved you deeper some way

Somehow understood this pain

Maybe cried out love’s forgiveness

Now, I’m left here by myself

And still trying to find some semblance

Of a broken fool’s long-lost hope

Yea, I’m still crawling back to me

Too weak- to stand tall again

I heard you even married him

Just before you up and let him go

Oh! I know exactly how he feels

And I’d help him… if only I could

Unmarketable

My moods are like clothing

They’re either clean or dirty

Sometimes I do wear colorful

Sometimes I do wear darkness

And sometimes they’ll wear me

As for indicators- but not triggers

They are merely one facet

Of whom I may be, or not

In any of my given moments

And I have a plethora of those

You may not like the packaging

But you might love the product

Free samples may be available

But know first… I can’t be bought

Taxations

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Taxations

I spent myself most lavishly

I used to worry about my sanity

Before I finally understood myself

Before my perceived definition

Was believed to be of any value

My true worth is unmeasurable

To those who connect and love- me

For all others, I’ll never measure up

Nor ever achieve their desires for me

It’s simply not my responsibility to

I wasn’t created for their purpose

I’m worthy of much more than that

I still care what the world thinks

But I stop carrying any… critiques

Sheeple

Undermining is blinding our reality

There are unsound truths being told

To lead all astray down wrong paths

Where life is a deep forest and darkly

Wolves travel in carnivorous packs

Their zealous desires offer no mercy

Unlike true nature of love to give back

If love tends to feel like an extradition

Leading to self-imploding complicity

Know, your trust is being gaslighted

Its aim: to devolve one’s authenticity

To enslave all your inner core values

It’s far from what love is meant to be

Cause a coercive love… is entrapment

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