Felled petals

I admit, it stills exist

In the midst of midnight hours

I’m waken every now and again

By some connected unknown force

Only to end up gently sipping

On steamy insipid coffee in my hand

Where I catch myself sleepily staring

In present with moonlit darkness

At those sworn walls of secrets

Buried like treasure beneath

Seemingly an unblemished surface

Boasting itself a new color

Somehow, I think you’d approve

Life’s strangeness and its ever-changes

That took place, in this room

Since those ole blushing times

When you were too fast for even time

To stop and think things through

And the more your anger thought

The greater that fire within grew

The walls that shattered flying glass

Remained just as scarred as our past

All the painful things you done and said

We both knew hurt and were never true

But all that messy time aside

I can sometimes hear whispers

Of your voice, however- faint

Its reverberation unlocks my restraints

Chills overcome my body

My eyes flood with unyielding tears

I can almost feel you touch me, Darling

Like after you’d stop and realized

Your shaky hands and desperate grip

Somethings were beyond your control

How hard, how hard we both tried

To acclimate the rest of the world to us

As we stood embraced in a torn near silence

A testament to life’s unwanted perplexities

Praying to reclaim, who we were, once

Oh, you were the blossom of a lifetime

Unfurling loves naked vulnerability, to me

Perfect imperfection in too short a life

A colorful and giving essence

Whenever you opened yourself up

But like all perfect divine petals

You were tied to human reality

Grasping for air, as all flames do

In an unchangeable destiny

And as we’ve both came to learn

Sometimes Angels have to fall hard

To live love reborn…as Butterflies

Poet of the Light © 2020

Abruptions

 

Drunken neon lights and cut throat skies

Repeated broken promise kind of life

Became my normalcy of subjectively

My disasters always seem to come

Out of no where, no ominous warning

Like hell bent wildfires with no end

And all I could do is hope I’d be taken

Just to hold hopes hand- it would all stop

Even if I was the collateral of devastation

Until- she- fell- like a Grace sent rain

Life can turn on a dime void of expectations

Her ebony eyes reveling unknown galaxies

As she quelled my damaged aching heart

Her soft words soothed my burning scars

Allowing me to think- somewhat, straight

I tasted life’s sweetness between breaths

And like a fool in love, I believed in ever-after

But cruelly nothing last forever, including- her

And through my bloodshot eyes of disbelief

Who knew that her loss of love would change

Only to feel more like unwanted icy drops

Lingering like fog in my torn memories

And I be back hoping to become a collateral stop

Belief, I’d never get another abrupting rain of…Grace

 

Poet of the Light © 2020

Before after

 

 

No matter how hard I try

I can’t get past, missing you

It has become all too familiar

Like that moment in time, just before

Everything that matters- changes

The gravity of reality was too much

To bear even for my reluctant tears

And like my heart, they fell, splattered

“I miss you” couldn’t begin to cover

The raw scars left in your place

To accompany those moments

I’ve regrettably have come to hate:

A plethora of moments before

Cruelly subsequence your departure

Before I learned my invincibility

Was found cloaked in your arms

Before I knew your love for me

Could touch so deep- within

Before the taste of your lips

Would become my only hunger

Before the pain that now defines me

Reminds me, I simply can’t endure

Before every bound memory of you

Also binds all happiness I’ve known

Even now my brave tears cling

To the endless redness of my eyes

And like that micro moment before

Dawn blushes color of the next horizon

I feel your cold absence…ever more

 

Poet of the Light © 2020

 

 

 

Dearest child

 

When life feels of a void

And you notice my missed voice

Take heart my dear one, not to cry

Unless you feel, you really must

My absence isn’t by disgust

Know I’m doing just fine

And you’re never forgotten

Just like the touch of the sun

Sometimes I will come or hide

Off walking on fresh fallen snow

That comes in flurries like feathers

Sifted from playful moments of pillows

Oh! a season ofmy white ash stroll

Just as I was, always destined to

Long before God made me, then you

But when life has you down

And darkness reins over in clouds

Remember I’m still there

Clasping you hand like my child

Always left within your clasp

Just simply- look deeply

Into your daughter eyes

See all the galaxies of life

The colors how the coalescent

Giving her sight, acting as a guide

In her every breath of words

In her love and childish rebellion

Where if you listen, you hear mine too

Recalling those moments- with you

Look at her authentic smiles

So hardy, in all her laughter’s

Never broken, nor painted on after

Parts of mine- are there, hidden

Somewhere within a shape of her grin

Along with traits- from you and I

Tethering all of us, within folds of love

So when the times comes, you’ll show how

If you hold her close, feel her heart beats

Those echoes are also me- speaking

Whispering soulfully to you both;

How much I miss and love you

And within the sound of her song

Will be parts of your carried along

And as she grows, becomes a woman

You will see and teach, to her

All theses feeling and whispering words

No mater how far you may seem

That one day- even she can find you

In her children, embracing our memory’s

She do just fine, even if you too are absent

But not in disgust, completing a purpose

Of living love in waiting of her as well

Strolling a winters-cape, beside me

I Love you, always…Daddy

 

Poet of the Light© 2019