Ageless

Under familiar skylines   
 Where waves do linger  
 Standing on the shore  
 Of our lost yesterdays  
 Without any thought  
 And from time to time  
 Liken a child catches  
 Sweet blown kisses   
 I grasp out at the wind
 And listen carefully  
 Hoping that I’ll find
 One of your whispers
 Love of your heart has  
 Sent out just for… me  
 
 Poet of the Light © 2020  
 
 

At play

 Beset in a human type of spindrift
 Silent acts of flapping, fleeting caws  
 Dawn gently melts away a rolling fog
 As night temptingly slips off it’s drape
 I feel on my skin the chilly air, breathe
 As my weary mind wanders aimlessly
 To recall all of your missed touches
 Spoken words of love and their hope
We are those children no more, sadly 
 Angelical face of such sweet promise
Gone now, there- beyond that great pall  
 Shivers race feverishly through my soul  
 And I further wonder again to myself;
 Would you return, if you really could,
 To me, my heart, my arms as it once was,  
 Or would you remain- my lost forever?
 Oh how my tears even fear your thoughts
 And reluctantly fall- away from me too
 Now only my shattered dark emotions
 Will share their seasons… without you
 
Poet of the Light © 2020  

After letters Aug 14th

Today wasn’t a good day as you may have noticed. I think the only mistake was my impulse to head down into the city for a change of pace. You know how I can become over eager even if it’s the littlest of things, like a shopping trip. Shhh.. I can almost hear you laughing out loud right now. God, how I miss that laugh and silly grin, like when you knew you were right about something but left me to learn it the hard way.

Everything was going fine until, I went into the department store for a bit of browsing. You know how I like to compare things and prices before finally deciding on what I want. Come to think of it, you were the only exception to that rule in my life. I wanted you as soon as I saw you and by the grace of God, I was gifted with not only you, but your unconditional love. That in itself was a miracle to me, still is.

So- anyways, as I was strolling through the aisles I happened to pick up the very same aroma as your homemade perfume from those flowers here in your garden and some of the wilds ones you spent days selecting. I must admit, I was ecstatic and reluctant both. I mean, what were the odds someone replicated your secret blend? I gave chase and yes- I desperately wanted to believe somehow a Déjà vécumiracle happening and I’d run into you all over again. I was deeply disappointed to find the source was another woman. Still, bewildered I had to ask her where she obtained such an appealing fragrance. At first, she was hesitate. I gather because she thought maybe I was flirting with her but then she relented and informed me, it was specially made by a woman up in the mountains. When she said it was gifted to her during her visit by sheer accident of wrong directions and she stopped while you were making a fresh batch, so you offered her a bottle. I had no idea you named it “touch of souls”. She must have thought me mad when tears flowed from my eyes. I quickly explained myself to her, your loss and she truly tried hard to comfort me. We both cried in each other’s embrace. She was planning on returning your favor in the fall. I quickly excused myself and sat in your car for a better part of the day. Scarred- I would break down and start weeping while driving. I couldn’t risk hurting innocent people. I had no idea I wept for so long. I simply knew I needed to get back here, where you’re presence is still present. I’m back at home, with you again. I think I’ll turn in early. I’m sure you’ll understand.

Poet of the Light © 2020 After letters collection

After letters June 10th





…I sat on your bench most of the day, talking to all your flowers. Its amazing how much better they bloom. Even their colors look brighter, healthier. It humbles me, knowing I ribbed you all those times over talking to them reading them poetry all day. You, being you, would simply smile at me in that way of yours. I admit, at first I thought maybe you were having cognitive issues. Later I determined you just enjoy talking to your plants like little children. I get it now. This being the first year after, I wondered if it wasn’t just you sprinkling holy water on them but, now I know, it was simply adding loving attention. That extra touch of love from ones soul.

That early morning storm we had rushing over the summits was sure unexpected. That lightning and thunder show lasted nearly right up till dawn. Didn’t bother me all that much, you know I don’t really sleep like I used when you were here along side. But we sure needed that rain didn’t we? Smaller deliveries would have been preferred but that’s good old fashion mountain kind of weather. I recall you always loved watching it happen like some movie. We lost power here, twice- oddly, there a first time for everything. It worked out alright but you know that. Yea…I made coffee using that old fireplace kettle you kept for us, just in case. All that time it sat there like some out of place giant trinket on up on that mantle, collecting dust. And leave it to you to place another one of your little letters inside for me to find, just in case. Only God knows when you really wrote that one. Maybe weeks, months or hell maybe even years ago. I’d even dare say it was you causing all that storming action too, knowing how dry its been all year. But that’s just you being you. Doing what needs be done in looking out for us. Can’t say I’m all that surprised after all those years we had. I’m still being amazed by you, my just in case, girl.

Your hidden notes, are always like flowers for the soul. Words written from your heart, and delivered center mass to mine, each time I read them over and over line by line. I swear, I can feel you between the pages gaps, touching me. Somehow as my eyes scan the page, I’d hear you voice in the back of my head, as if it were you speaking aloud. I have to stop and clean out my eyes out now and then as my silent lips quiver your words. Well it getting late and I best call it a night, besides I have some tough chores tomorrow, talking to each of your flowers. You know how much I abhor thinking I disappointed you in anyway.

Wholeheartedly


I’ve never gotten over anyone
I ever- loved or have ever lost
I carry them, those memories
And pain with me, in my heart
I don’t mind the extra burden
They won’t be unnoticed relics 
I’m never gonna get over them
They’re the whispering flickers
Of the eternal flame in my heart
And I’m never ashamed to cry
Once in a while...for the ones gone


Poet of the Light © 2020

Felled petals

I admit, it stills exist

In the midst of midnight hours

I’m waken every now and again

By some connected unknown force

Only to end up gently sipping

On steamy insipid coffee in my hand

Where I catch myself sleepily staring

In present with moonlit darkness

At those sworn walls of secrets

Buried like treasure beneath

Seemingly an unblemished surface

Boasting itself a new color

Somehow, I think you’d approve

Life’s strangeness and its ever-changes

That took place, in this room

Since those ole blushing times

When you were too fast for even time

To stop and think things through

And the more your anger thought

The greater that fire within grew

The walls that shattered flying glass

Remained just as scarred as our past

All the painful things you done and said

We both knew hurt and were never true

But all that messy time aside

I can sometimes hear whispers

Of your voice, however- faint

Its reverberation unlocks my restraints

Chills overcome my body

My eyes flood with unyielding tears

I can almost feel you touch me, Darling

Like after you’d stop and realized

Your shaky hands and desperate grip

Somethings were beyond your control

How hard, how hard we both tried

To acclimate the rest of the world to us

As we stood embraced in a torn near silence

A testament to life’s unwanted perplexities

Praying to reclaim, who we were, once

Oh, you were the blossom of a lifetime

Unfurling loves naked vulnerability, to me

Perfect imperfection in too short a life

A colorful and giving essence

Whenever you opened yourself up

But like all perfect divine petals

You were tied to human reality

Grasping for air, as all flames do

In an unchangeable destiny

And as we’ve both came to learn

Sometimes Angels have to fall hard

To live love reborn…as Butterflies

Poet of the Light © 2020

Abruptions

 

Drunken neon lights and cut throat skies

Repeated broken promise kind of life

Became my normalcy of subjectively

My disasters always seem to come

Out of no where, no ominous warning

Like hell bent wildfires with no end

And all I could do is hope I’d be taken

Just to hold hopes hand- it would all stop

Even if I was the collateral of devastation

Until- she- fell- like a Grace sent rain

Life can turn on a dime void of expectations

Her ebony eyes reveling unknown galaxies

As she quelled my damaged aching heart

Her soft words soothed my burning scars

Allowing me to think- somewhat, straight

I tasted life’s sweetness between breaths

And like a fool in love, I believed in ever-after

But cruelly nothing last forever, including- her

And through my bloodshot eyes of disbelief

Who knew that her loss of love would change

Only to feel more like unwanted icy drops

Lingering like fog in my torn memories

And I be back hoping to become a collateral stop

Belief, I’d never get another abrupting rain of…Grace

 

Poet of the Light © 2020

Before after

 

 

No matter how hard I try

I can’t get past, missing you

It has become all too familiar

Like that moment in time, just before

Everything that matters- changes

The gravity of reality was too much

To bear even for my reluctant tears

And like my heart, they fell, splattered

“I miss you” couldn’t begin to cover

The raw scars left in your place

To accompany those moments

I’ve regrettably have come to hate:

A plethora of moments before

Cruelly subsequence your departure

Before I learned my invincibility

Was found cloaked in your arms

Before I knew your love for me

Could touch so deep- within

Before the taste of your lips

Would become my only hunger

Before the pain that now defines me

Reminds me, I simply can’t endure

Before every bound memory of you

Also binds all happiness I’ve known

Even now my brave tears cling

To the endless redness of my eyes

And like that micro moment before

Dawn blushes color of the next horizon

I feel your cold absence…ever more

 

Poet of the Light © 2020

 

 

 

Dearest child

 

When life feels of a void

And you notice my missed voice

Take heart my dear one, not to cry

Unless you feel, you really must

My absence isn’t by disgust

Know I’m doing just fine

And you’re never forgotten

Just like the touch of the sun

Sometimes I will come or hide

Off walking on fresh fallen snow

That comes in flurries like feathers

Sifted from playful moments of pillows

Oh! a season ofmy white ash stroll

Just as I was, always destined to

Long before God made me, then you

But when life has you down

And darkness reins over in clouds

Remember I’m still there

Clasping you hand like my child

Always left within your clasp

Just simply- look deeply

Into your daughter eyes

See all the galaxies of life

The colors how the coalescent

Giving her sight, acting as a guide

In her every breath of words

In her love and childish rebellion

Where if you listen, you hear mine too

Recalling those moments- with you

Look at her authentic smiles

So hardy, in all her laughter’s

Never broken, nor painted on after

Parts of mine- are there, hidden

Somewhere within a shape of her grin

Along with traits- from you and I

Tethering all of us, within folds of love

So when the times comes, you’ll show how

If you hold her close, feel her heart beats

Those echoes are also me- speaking

Whispering soulfully to you both;

How much I miss and love you

And within the sound of her song

Will be parts of your carried along

And as she grows, becomes a woman

You will see and teach, to her

All theses feeling and whispering words

No mater how far you may seem

That one day- even she can find you

In her children, embracing our memory’s

She do just fine, even if you too are absent

But not in disgust, completing a purpose

Of living love in waiting of her as well

Strolling a winters-cape, beside me

I Love you, always…Daddy

 

Poet of the Light© 2019