Fulgurate

Time is now my heartless jailer

Holding my full essence hostage

In hopes to force my transition

Through a loss- I refuse to abort

From my mind, soul, and heart

Marginalizing all my principles

That’s guided well my love forth

For not capitulating effortlessly                   

To their dark antithetical scheme

Swallowing of some bitter canard

And view life’s prism differently          

To weaken who I’ve always been       

One would think a loss is enough    

But regardless of what they want

My love doesn’t halt… its mission   

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Poet of the Light © 2023

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Disproportion

It’s like I no longer fit in myself

Time, a most careless container  

Nothing is right since you’ve left

Feels like I’m too constricted now

My bindings of life are too tight

It becomes hard to breath or even

Mutter out your name in silence

Causing my eyes break into tears   

Revisiting memories, we’ve shared    

Laughters in undeniable triumphs   

Hearing every single conversation

Back to the moment of your birth   

Emptiness, a wayward companion

When your soul has lost someone

Grief oft feels like I’m… imploding

Poet of the Light © 2023

Photo by Gantas Vaiu010diulu0117nas on Pexels.com

Ma fille

I question if absent mindedness

Has been that lingering shadow

Nefariously following me around

Like some stalker for broken hearts

That missed the boat for recovering

Since they’ve drifted from normalcy

Remaining on the peripheral of life

Caught between darkest and light     

Draining my energy to be- myself

Diverting my thoughts from now’s         

Nothing seems to be where I left it

I find things where I least expect          

My grief tells me I misplaced you

In that way, I’ve least… expected to

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Poet of the Light © 2023

Photo by Gantas Vaiu010diulu0117nas on Pexels.com

Hollow trunk

Its winter and yet I feel no cold

I stand here silently half naked

Why does this fog blanket me so?

Where has my loved Dawn gone?

There are answer I’ll never know  

That’s the thing about all nature

Too transient to remain very long

All my years failed to prepare me

For the unexpected of cruel seasons

Lack of heartless to become careless    

My aged cover hides scarred grains    

All my branches are nearly fruitless    

The glorious days have passed away

As horizontal edge draws… ever nearest

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Poet of the Light © 2023

Not my photo.

A cold coming

April- a time of comprehension

That those who hunkered down

Neath winters premature blanket

Will not be returning to us again

Not, in the persona or our lifetime

April- is to remind us life goes on

It perseveres by its own set nature

But it lacks emotions or a heartbeat

Wears no frowned face or a shadow

So much unlike us- left to gardening       

Tending new growth of hope to forget

We hide profound pain in ourselves     

Like a secret the world mustn’t know

To prevent looking overly… human

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Poet of the Light © 2023

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After letters, March 20th~year two

The snow was gently falling this morning, but warmer temperatures lay just over the southern horizon, if- they can convince the current headwinds their unwitting accomplice in delivering radiating sunrays to help melt our seasonal snowflakes. Come to think of it, spring was always your favorite season. I can vividly recall how much you wanted to simply go out and shovel all that white snowy blanket away and wake your sleepy garden of dormant plants. It was almost as if you had a green-shaded soul to match your innate green thumb. How you managed to till and plant all those seedlings, sprouted plants, and evergreens all on your own, still amazes me, even though I shouldn’t be.

You know, I believe there are times when the nature of this mountain also misses you. That ethereal energy we both recognized when we first started living here. Now and then as I sit, even in the wintery mix out on the front approach steps where we’ve chatted for hours and now, I hear in a tender and elusive like cry inside the sounds of winds that meander from the lower riversides, up through the meadows and rocky plateaus just below our ridge line where snowfall is always the deepest of all. I firmly believe this mountain adopted us both, in its own peculiar fashion. And when we lost you, a part of ourselves was lost with you too. I’ve come to believe special places like this mountain can get just as lonely as you or I.   

The setting of today’s sun will be crashing just yonder that westerly summit fold soon, but I’ve lost my palette to sit and watch that amberoid disappear all alone anymore. Besides, I’ve still got a few chores to finish up and your kitchen to tidy up after my late supper. Oh, how I miss hearing your voice more than ever, especially while chatting on steps about nothing more important than our shared moments.   

Poet of the Light © 2023/After letters collection~

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Six feet back

I see it now, in but my lateness

Warm temperatures for summer   

Our smiles where we’ve not sat

Nor admired the garden flowers

Whose scent didn’t excite the bees

Conversation that we’ll miss out on

Oh, how I used to enjoy those times

They’d spill over into looking back

Reminiscent of laughter, we had

In those microseconds of our lives       

Never appreciating the real present

In the presence of real life at hand

And we only become acutely hesitant

When we’re the last one left… standing

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Poet of the Light © 2023

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com

Disrupted

There’re times I’m hit like a tidal wave

Knowing they’re echoes of my emotions

Still trying to find a new resting place

Trying to fit in where they don’t belong

And since you’ve been gone- it’s harder

Starting over when you can’t get started     

I’m a song that got lost and then caught

Here between who I am and who I’m not

I’m an instrument left without a sound         

Despite all this, I continue looking up

To see if you might be looking down        

Offering some answer or solution how      

Don’t know if the sun setting or if it’s dawn

Don’t know if subsistence…is moving on

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Poet of the Light © 2023

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Missing

Dawn still remains hours away

But I stumble through the darker

Deciding to let the lights sleep in

I know every step I take in silence

At times it’s the most I can accomplish

I know where I’m heading and have been

I just never thought it be without you   

I get thoughts of you I can’t hold them

The way my arms are dying to again      

Every now and then I’m all messed up

When I can’t console my heart like you did   

I’m feeling tired but still too awake       

Still trying to believe this is all a mistake     

Something you’d never let me believe

You’re still the best part… I’ll be

.

Poet of the Light © 2023

Photo by Ekaterina on Pexels.com

Immersive

Living new aspects of love

Weigh heavily on my soul

Sometimes it feels as though

I’m lost in the glimmer’s glow

Overshadowed by brightness

Hidden from all I’ve known

Like ashes of a fire out of control

At mercy to the passing breezes           

I’m a star falling into darkness

Far beyond site of near horizons      

My voice is lost under a silence

Not even I can hear its utterances    

And I really wouldn’t mind at all

Knowing you’ll stop… my dissolve  

.

Poet of the Light © 2023

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