Charade

You can’t rewrite history arbitrarily

Not without lying to yourself, daily

And in truth, there’s never closure

No such thing as moving forward

From damage caused by a narcissist

If there were, scars would be erased

My unflinching trust would exist

Moreover, an unsabotaged me- lives

Unfortunately, that’s not the case

I’m reminded in tiny ways of this

At times I awaken from tiredness

Or while attempting to live my life

Remnants will steal my continuity

You can lie to yourselves… but not me

fruition (long read)

I too, go now soon

Where is as I must

Before the snows fall

And greys become dust

After all, tis my very nature

Heavenly hands instilled

And life nurtured by moonlights

As an inner child’s dream in truth

I’ll ascend near where Eagles soar

There, up in a corner summit borrow

And campfires are lost to darkness

Where snippets of life are painted

In colors of wild mountain flowers

And lush meadow green lands

And sprinkles of sparkling stars

Higher than is here now

Where breezes tumbleweeds for miles

Across dried-out level landscapes

Where Bison herds and bears roamed

Amongst glacier lakes and tall grasses

Back in a time long before I was born

When stars were filled with prayers

And I too must complete a cycle

And I’ll do so with my Lord savior

Listening to my humbled heart speak

The way a Father does to his child

As I bear witness of those who loved me

And those who wiped my salty tears

Fed my broken heart promising stories

Triaged my rented skin and soul

Steeped me in warms cups of forgiveness

Reminded me of my mountainous mission

In betwixt quiet hours of inner peace

And glorious dawns of dewy mornings

Where Mother nature kisses all living

I’ll colorfully imbue as memories

Imprinted gingerly on my soul’s fabric

Carrying with to unabashedly boast

Where I’m from and to where I go

As I walk in the complicit echoes

By legions of revered Poets of old

Whispering our creative thoughts

Into sleepy young hearts, we left behind

That try to comprehend why

Their tender nature compels them

To sit thoughtlessly… admiring summits

Unexplainables

Greif can be a dark fickle thing

Just as you dare to go out in public

When you think you have a handle on it

It comes at you full force out of nowhere

Without warning, it throws a gut punch

Waffling in fear, loss, anger, and confusion

Each emotion fights for full attention

Which is the last thing you want at all

Family and friends only worsen the effect

As their cynical advice is nonsensical

And absurd under normal conditions

But you can’t remember your old normalcy

You’re grasping at air for tangibility

But all your fingers find… is emptiness

Love lived (Haiku)

Bees naturally buzz

Perfume of a flower blooms

I feel your bare skin

Winter whet

There do come times I’ll question

My own sense of imperfect sanity

In part; an exercise of self-awareness

Test my own intrinsic boundaries

Of knowledge and understandment

In hopes to grow; broaden my horizons

Become more than a seedling sprout

While simultaneously seeping deeper

Silently into my own rooted native soil

I get lost in sunlight and darkness alike

I weather storms and seasonal starvation

I’ve bled when injured and healed in scars

And I nestle into my fertile broken dreams

Just before the security…of winter’s cover

Reptilians

There are those deft people

Who are often diplomatic

With their calculating wit

In answers and sentiments

But secretly being dismissive

To lesser skilled practitioners

That brave in honesty upfront

Reveling their desires or trust

Risking all their vulnerability

For sake of something- purer

Just to be wounded or slayed

By sharp tongue of wordplay

When deft secretly fears a love

They’re just too incapable…of

INRI

His cloak long stripped off

Lost desire to hide himself

He is here- – your- brother

Strewn amongst the lesser

In miscolored bit of pieces

As if he was pecked carrion

Life rented from humanity

For but narcissistic ravens

Where he bled betwixt gasps

To be laid open and nailed

His faith tattered into tears

They claimed it was heresy

To be so bold with the truth

To live and die a Son…of God

Crucible

I’ve fallen between the lines

Portraying the idiot at times

When the mood strikes me to

Fitting the character’s profile

By some unseeingly observer

Having age-old bones to pick

That’s been gnawing resolve

A type of pit in a man’s soul

That never becomes satisfied

But will attempt to placate it

The way drugs alter a mind

Often at the expense of others

And the idiot is no idiot when

He outmaneuvers…a narcissist

Intersections

Right from the beginning of life

There are those that are nurtured

By both parents and life, itself

And those that come into themselves

Percolating over the course of time

Children are both whiles being children

But at any point, they can transform

Autonomously taking charge of their thriving

Sprout off in any number of directions

Some kids are hampered by darkness

While others, from childhood- flourish

Darkness freeing them from all conscious

Light and or darkness become a romance

But only one entity desires… affirmation

hooked

Intoxicating

Each new glace

Stronger than the last

It’s a full-blown addiction

I just don’t know it yet

Maybe I never will, after all

We haven’t so much as spoken

At least to each other

Yet- I hear your moist whispers

Echoing chills down my spine

As I drown in your perfume

Sitting on the fray of your dialogue

Slip sliding on your silky words

Visionary fingers wander blindly

Emotional flares heighten

But your rose-colored lips

Would cut away…my last resistance

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