Disintegrated

My mind does try to understand

All things my emotions just can’t

Like why my heart wants to forgive

But still feels too broken down yet

It favors I surrender and let you go

With all this pain you’ve called love

My soul believes were heading for

A crash much worse than all this

Heartaches aren’t worth the trouble

Let’s stop pretending their normal

I’m so far from everything I’ve wanted

And sometimes I may feel I deserve it

Broken hearts cling to a glimmer of hope

One day someone will love us…anyway

.

Poet of the Light © 2022

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Fiery

Grief is more than an emotional rabbit hole

It becomes a state of awareness all its own

Similar to living in multi-dimensional space

Where life as we know it altered- out of sync   

It’s a mutual wound ripped clear to our soul

Defying logic, conventional wisdom, and love

Where we will often question our own sanity

A cold darkness that may affect almost anyone

Anyone- who dares love by a divine conviction           

And yet, our love for others is what sustains us

Even though we will suffer in profound ways  

As the world at large fails to comprehend this  

Making us feel lonelier on our lonesome journey

Through a dark pathway into… a promised Light

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Poet of the Light © 2022

Cherishment

How selfish it feels to still suffer

During these inconvenient moments

Of seasonal holiday celebrations

When all the others are laughing

Creating their new joyous memories  

Pigeonholing our beloved departed

Yet, try as I might to join in with them

I’m innately compelled to sequester myself

Fall in pensive thoughts of the lost ones

To the point, my scarred soul hurts

My heart flutters at an anxious pace

While my mind is picturing memories

That for me- can never be replaced

By new moments over…beloved yesterdays  

.

Poet of the Light © 2022

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Sehnsuct

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Most of my life I’ve waffled amongst

Pleasure, grief, or just unhappiness

But joy, in its truest sense of the word

Has always been rare and fleeting

At a very young age, I recognized this

And try as I might to explain it to others

My words often fell upon cynical ears

Love cannot exist without pure joy

That x factor lives outside our control

Yet, we can help heighten it for others

But never for ourselves, authentically      

Today I’ve realized all my lack of joy       

Is not of my doing or failures in life

Joy comes in due time… by special delivery

.

Poet of the Light © 2022

Broad strokes

The morning is cold and gray   

Feels like winter is on its way  

Spring and summer are memories  

And there’s a hollowness inside 

Echoing back things about my life 

I’m missing chances I let slip away  

These echoes are reminding me  

Not to waste another fragile day  

Yet I still don’t know what to do 

But chase after rainbows I can’t see  

Slaying windmills found in my way  

Looking for where I truly belong  

Scarred, tired, and barely hanging on  

I’m a man you’d have to love… blindly  

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Poet of the Light © 2022  

Alacrity

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Nothing about love is negative 

Those platitudes are merely myths 

To get you to capitulate yourself 

To neurotic whims of someone else 

Those who have needs to manipulate   

Love is a gift they can’t appreciate  

Love flows in abundance naturally   

Around the bends and sprawls out 

It churns in-depth and even falls  

Out of nowhere in faraway places  

It is fierce and gentle all at once     

Silky and soothing with its touch      

Love ushers out no waves of regret  

Love is the exception… in everything 

.

Poet of the Light © 2022  

Unfolding realities

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Narcissists are naturally cunning  

Even factoring in being forgiven 

Into the fabric of nefarious plans 

And before enacting their deeds  

Upon those, they will victimize  

We should oblige them- just once 

Proving to ourselves that we can  

But void of any remorseful actions 

We must avoid becoming complicit  

By letting them convict themselves  

Next time they trespass boundaries   

As they utter forgiveness platitudes  

We end all our further interactions 

Because narcissists…evade change  

Poet of the Light © 2022  

Risen

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I twas but as fictional as 

Any other from my birth  

Who acquiesced to my life  

In what little I deciphered  

Till finding my true nature 

Hidden deep within myself 

Raw, vulnerable, and naive  

Same way we’re all created  

Emotional and intellectual  

Uncouth and soulfully naked  

Unknown and undamaged 

Only to be bent and broken   

We’re dammed and innocent  

We are faithful… and forgiven 

.

Poet of the Light © 2022  

Peregrination

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Living for the observed sake  

Of being an active resistance 

Is not at all life as intended 

.

Far too often we’re complicit 

In all the creation of illusions  

Mesmerizing our full attention  

.

From birth- we are set forth  

Upon our perilous pathway  

To discover our true inner self

We will be broken and scarred  

Our hearts and beliefs, shattered  

And some of us will surrender  

.

I have my sacred mission instilled  

I am duty-bound to its… fulfillment  

.

Poet of the Light © 2022