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It’s nothing I can truly explain

But every once and a while

And out of the blue- it just happens

So hard to define- into words

That I know will never justify it

But the best I can depict, is:

Escorting a summer breeze

That hasn’t noticed my presence

Its like walking all alone

Void of even a fragment of a shadow

In the midst of a summer day

That has chosen to dress in a haze

Why, I just don’t really know

But then a shift takes place

And an unseen storm comes along

Temperatures rapidly drop

My skin erupts- in goosebumps

Suddenly it begins to heavily rain

I silent smile- so unexpectedly

I can feel every single drop

As well as their flowing trail

Over my soul, like fingertips

Bring lost emotions back alive

Carrying secret notes they carry inside

They pour them out upon me

And then, and then I realize

I can almost feel her embodiment

And smell the scent of her fragrance

The faint kiss, of her silky lips

Raindrops trickle down my back

Chills rise up to my skins surface

Feel as if they could be, her whispers

Oh! I still believe in miracles

That elusive unfound dream

Is passing through to notice me

If only to help renew my belief

In time, every prayer is answered

Some start as … tiny raindrops

Eidolon

If I thought

For more than one

Of the many brief seconds

That tease my mind, daily

Pull at my heartstrings

And trick my eyes

That you could

That you really would

Metaphorically- catch me

I would have fallen fearlessly

Into the presence arms of yours … already

Mindlessness

The cruelty seems inhumane at times

To a heart and long-sleeved emotions

When unexpected illusions seem all too real

With those sporadic visits of sound kindness

As connectiveness becomes the conduit

That oft resparks one’s acute inner interest

Long enough to create a new longing

After feeling a little bit less- darkly broken

But- end up feel like a renewed wasteland

Someone has visited like a place of respite

Not leaving so much as a note in their absence

That only you seem to have taken notice of

That, and the eerie sound of shallow breathes

Whilst staring out rosy windows at … barrens

X-factors

Have I done love itself all wrong;

In my most immature of nature;

Or has love wronged all my heart;

Thereby breaking my inner spirit?

Tis too confounding of many variables

For me, for I will not be controlled

And controlled offered me no quenching

For any craving that simply acquiesces

Perhaps the environment was wrong

Or the sun too high on those rainy days

Where my shadow got lost, along the way

Perhaps that is why I thrive in darkness?

How I’ve thirsted for what I should not

A found lost friend that knew me not … at all

Unquantifiable

I cannot begin to count, even now

How many times we restarted- us

Or how many times I eagerly forgave

Ignoring the fresh wounds and scars

You wanted more than was possible

But nothing would really be enough

Nor did you comprehend, my love

I was too blind to really realize reality

You and our love, could not be saved

I treaded water in the wrong direction

Trying to save what was unreachable

I fell in love with uncontrollable chaos

It felt like home inside my broken soul

It hurt me the utmost … to let you go

Baby girl

Five steps to what seemed my one

It wasn’t long, her wisdom took over

As she suddenly let go of my fingers

She took off- hurrying barefooted

Back and forth down the sidewalk

In her version of a drunken sailor

Sunlight danced off her curly hair

Sundress and excited arms were flying

Giggles added to her growing charm

Her laughter was certainly infectious

I swear, this girl was born half angel

You could tell by her half tooth smile

The first time she really tasted freedom

She has been chasing after it…ever since

a/k/a Daddy

Lacerations

What is experienced is always real

Only their perceptions can be fallible

You simply don’t forget an earthquake

Or a massive divide opening before you

It said, things do wane over some time

But only in accuracy of that statement

Platitudes prattled never heal anything

They’re just cursory placebo’s cynics offer

I know fully the depth of my love gifted

As well as its breadth in embracement’s

It stems from my soul and all I’ll ever be

Until you treat me like yesterday’s confetti

It’s not my heartbreaks lessen any in pain

Or that the pain has magically weakened

Not when it comes to the truth of my heart

For every fracture and crevasse, tells a story

Oh, trust me, I do still unabashedly cry!

My tears have just lost enthusiasm to drop

You’ve broken those things in me that loves

Wounds… require loves unfathomable touch

Pearls of presence

Oftentimes a shadow of loneliness visits

It is not as ominous as it might sound

At least in this context here, for myself

We have- what I’d call deep conversations

Having come to terms with our unique roles

And not meaning to sound schizophrenic

Or someone suffering from hallucinations

But we all have a past that doesn’t let go

Nor does it forget, even if we pretend, ignorance

It seems wiser to make friends with old ghost

Then drive yourself absolutely insane

For not appreciating treasured moments alone

It is in these times I relish playing the host

On my terms, and so I can slowly … let go

Unpacking

Love is an eternal thing for me

Its fruition of divine knowledge

Two people have unlocked, live

You inhale, speak its wonderment

That still inspire heartfelt sonnets

And it defies all sound reason of logic

But can mean a plethora of things

And differently, for so many others

I really couldn’t begin to even fathom

Often, at least to me, too convenient

To claim, as if they’ve won a lottery

Thereby undermine its otherworldliness

Everchanging: a concept of terrific notice

Of which I admit I still grapple with

Cause it can be like a double edge sword

Which in itself, can be very unsettling

But- something in which I am sure of

Is, I still love everyone I ever loved

Despite death, estrangement, or life

Even those, whom I’ve never told

Held close in a crush like heart vault

Most of my pain; is from their loss

Unexpected, uncontrollable changes

And about that diminished access

None of which is easy to readily accept

After two souls melded spiritually

That’s not to say, I wasn’t angered

Not so much at them, the situations

More about the fashion it happened

Then in the happenings of the moments

Deteriorating promises and images

The lessor degree I suddenly mattered

To them and in part also my inner self

And the real unfortunate knowledge

What we had, created- was devoured

Insofar as “we” was now concerned

Which opened the door to move on

To a place of that absolute unknowns

Unwanted, scary, and yet, permanent

At least in small distractive ways

Until the pretending got much easier

Slowly replacing irascible depression

For many, they got extremely angry

Turn their love into malignant revenge

Their life became a dark myopic tunnel

Creating a sickness; one delves into lost

And most can never find their way out

But in truth, I’ll never get over all those

Heartbreaks, they’re my ultimate proof

For me, the love then… still matters now

Not a day goes by,

I don’t feel their absence.

Summit conversations

Beneath a moldy marble skyline

How strange- I must really look

To walk here nearly everyday

It takes hours to reach the top

Where I sit a while in this space

Just to image you here- again

As my heart speaks in echoes

Without thought I begin to talk

Trusting you’ll hear every word

I feel you in the sun and the wind

The wildflowers carry yours scent

And I am overtaken once again

Getting lost between the memories

And the heartbeats …of my dreams

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