Unbeknown

A single set of footprints

Blemish a dawns virginal snowfall

Right up to, where I sit alone

On an old frozen park bench

My front row, unadulterated view

Send chills like whispers, up my spine

Suddenly- You- catch my breath

You run through so childishly

A field, of tall whiskey colored grasses

Your arms out and heart pumping free

Eyes closed, uninfluenced courage

As if that wasn’t enough- to fall in love

A warm sun, kissing your silky skin

In every breath taken, love is being lived

Heavens grace, certainly so beautiful

And your leaving nothing

But your giggles as a footprint

At least here, this moment, silently

In the imaginary vivid scene

Playing out, in my mind

Loves life of a yesterday

When I’m gone from my reality

Where I walk around, dazzlingly

Wearing the face of foolish regret

As if it were an appropriate mask

Over mistakes- I never made

Lord knows, that’s what happens

When there are no reasons, no clues

Left behind from someone you loose

Oh, we both know the unknown truth

That causes me to weep inside

And weighing ever heavily on me

I never lost you- you just left

Like a midnight rain storm

As a trusting heart slept

But I can’t, can’t- get past it

Where time and I are trapped

Between my heart and mind

On an island of perfect memories

Surrounded by a minefield of glaciers

Needing answers, I’ll never get

To all those heartbroken questions

Why couldn’t you stay and love me

As you did- perfectly…in our yesterdays?

Whenever

I remember when

You first stole me, as a friend

I remember when

You stole my full attention

I remember when

You let me steal the first taste of your lips

I remember when

You stole the sun, with your eyes

I remember when

You stole the whispers, of the wind

I remember when

Your touch first moved, my soul

I remember when

You stole, this trusting heart of mine

And I remember when

You left all you stole, broken and behind

The way whitecaps break

The way echoes can haunt

The way lightning strikes

The way whirlwinds turn

The way a sunburn kisses

The way the stars, alight

The way your love- hurts

No matter whenever, I’ll always…remember

Bedlam

Like a sparrow uplifts

On seemingly nothings

I fell into your words

Deeper than you did mine

I took all of yours to heart

But they’ve become all lies

Still- I dangled on hope

Rubbing against the course

That didn’t materialize

And drowned in its truth

I will wait above the fray

Of all my lost, yesterdays

Believing someone can love me

With the courage to be…true

Wakes of whispers

I pensively look around me

Realizing, this is my destiny

But not where, I ought to be

How did I get so tossed- aside?

I try to look up to the sky

As if answers, would fall on cue

Far too bright- for me to see

I remain here even more confused

And yet, that river flows- on

To places I’ve never gone

And comes from, where I’d been

Maybe- we’ll meet up at the end

She was all my sunshine and rain

Never thought I’d be the current…she’d change

Anymore

I know I did my best

Until the best of me left- long ago

Oh baby- it ain’t hate speaking

I’m just honestly saying

I’m too tired to even leave

Don’t look surprised, we both know

Every word I say is our unspoken truth

Why don’t you just go- be free

And save yourself from even me

Please, don’t let me hold you back

I promise to turn away- uneasily

Your embraces secretly, tore me apart

As you wore someone else’s scent

I’ve had enough of your kind of love

I just can’t bare to carry it- anymore

Not on these depressed shoulders

All my strength sapped away

Like those dreams of yesterday

From living a loves, ugly mess

I see in the lines on my face

Starving in all this lost time

For so much as just a loving hug

That didn’t feel cold and distant

Whenever your cruel words- didn’t

Or the looks and undertones

Cause my eyes to break into water

That I hid in withdrawn silence

And shattered reality of my mind

Someplace far too familiar

That I never wanted to know

An island, far from what we were

Far from where you’ve taken my heart

And I learned what they mean by

Loving some enough to- “let go”

Of burnt bridges and pieces of love

That no longer depict a pretty picture

After it’s frame fell from its cherished wall

Cause we don’t represent that…anymore

River run

Nowhere to go but where I’m laid

As if it was always meant this way

And I’ve only just woke to my fate

Standing on a bank I’ll never own

Dwelling on things never coming

Just to keep from thinking of you

If only- I could walk across

The mirror of my sky, I’d find

A place in the raw deep darkness

Where I could sit and cry- alone

It would sound like thunder

That no one else could hear

And I’d know- nothing but blue

Oh- I’m lost in your leftover love

And dreams we’ll never see

After you up and went away- silently

Not so much as a note or a fight

That might help to explain

What you’re thinking in- your mind

All your promises fell like rain drops

Covering my face with hurt and pain

With the likes of I’ve never experienced

As cold air currents rush over me

I feel like a river destined to be

Darkened, long, winding and…endless

Night drips

Midnight silence hums

As the moon fall asleep

Ice chilled whiskey glass sweats

When she stole the empty stool

Next to where I sat

And ordered a flaming shot

Then turned my way to say

“I need me some doctoring up,

To fix my lonely heart “

Fine! I fully admit it

It happened in an instant

As soon as I looked, eagerly

Into the depths of her big blues

I willingly surrendered

All my questionable values

And my manly, resistance

Knowing there in that moment

There would be hell to pay- later

Like a morning or two after hangover

I’ll deal with it when I get it

But up and until then- valueless

Me and my desires cringed and grinned

Like an ecstatic child at Christmas

Unwrapping was half the pleasure

To the hidden toy within

And everything tastes sweeter

As passionate doctoring melts

Away at syrupy cream- drizzling

Creating an addicts hunger

Burning away human candles…before morning

La malédiction

I can’t get out or stay out- alone

Outside light leaks through crevasses

Creating a heavy sense of murkiness

Each drop within my cave, echoes

As if they alone mark passing time

My memories of her are resilient

Not even time ablates their faces

And their dark shadowy followers

Are my beset, and broken emotions

That wants to trust and love again

But like a ghost left blindly abandoned

Only to be coaxed to remain within

This is the torrents of a love- that lost

A chasm, where once a heart lived

This place of which there is no escape

Until my fiery heart is renewed…or quits

Someone like you~ music share

Abruptions

Drunken neon lights and cut throat skies

Repeated broken promise kind of life

Became my normalcy of subjectively

My disasters always seem to come

Out of no where, no ominous warning

Like hell bent wildfires with no end

And all I could do is hope I’d be taken

Just to hold hopes hand- it would all stop

Even if I was the collateral of devastation

Until- she- fell- like a Grace sent rain

Life can turn on a dime void of expectations

Her ebony eyes reveling unknown galaxies

As she quelled my damaged aching heart

Her soft words soothed my burning scars

Allowing me to think- somewhat, straight

I tasted life’s sweetness between breaths

And like a fool in love, I believed in ever-after

But cruelly nothing last forever, including- her

And through my bloodshot eyes of disbelief

Who knew that her loss of love would change

Only to feel more like unwanted icy drops

Lingering like fog in my torn memories

And I be back hoping to become a collateral stop

Belief, I’d never get another abrupting rain of…Grace

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