Cherishables

Between the distance and silence

There lives a hollowness to subsist

Where fires burn from held memories

Of older days that have passed

But live forever in our hearts

Like whispers without shadows

Only our souls can interpret

I tried to spare you some pain

Even if it came, at my own expense

But I was totally oblivious

That you were doing the same

Sometimes the price of love

Comes at our greatest tax

And that’s what makes it… beautiful

Master recipe

Somewhere betwixt life and death

There is this clear pathway hidden

Where our souls do traverse blindly

As they leave those of us far behind

They also leave their love as proof

We are loved and treasured dearly

Some of us feel torn in two directions

And in our grief, we want to be with

Loved ones here as well as there too

Our heartbeats here seem to go silent

We know their echoes speak volumes

That only those who’ve crossed over

Could truly receive and appreciate

Body and soul makes…love dialectical

Intrusion

Whisper words that stir my fate

Until its sweeter than past days

Let me feel each breath on my face

So, I’ll know the touch of love again

Move me like a mountain in your way

Smooth away all my precipitous cliffs

The way water does below the surface

With its soft currents of gentleness

Make me like a song you long to hear

Let me seep deep within your soul

Like the warmth of first kisses

Long enough until it feels like home

Rescue me from even my old self

With your moist whispers of… love

Spoilage

When it comes to the finality of a death

You drown in sobering understandings

A lifetime of proverbial seconds chances

Were squandered away by justified pride

Unlike love- grief is an all-consuming fog

Pervading places you never knew existed

And grief taste like a bitter root of death

Lingering in pores of our unconsciousness

So as to make even our greater days sour

Curdling all fond memories of our beloved

Making us question fidelity of our sanity

Love- the only thing to salvage our palate

Rescue our broken hearts from the sadness

Restore our lost hope… until we’re reunited

Deliverances

I know it’s wintertime here

Even snow has fallen a few times

But it’s colder than it should feel

As I stand here alone waiting

Tears are falling from my eyes

But that’s no big surprise, is it?

Imagining you here too

I think about all the things I’d say

Like I love you endlessly child

And thank you for being a blessing

I know I never felt safer than

When we were together laughing

Or the warmth of your embrace

The promise of daybreak peeks

Over the horizon just slightly

And my heart beats a bit faster

Cause I believe you hear me talking

Tell me, show me- somehow

You’re happy and better now

We can both make-believe together

Just like when you were a child dancing

The light breaks through my tears

Like a thousand waves crashing

In this secret seat of silence

I feel the breeze wrap around me

With the warmth of all your memories

And now I can’t stop crying

As all my fears slowly lay down

Believing you’re found… in every dawn

Abstruse

Not a day passes that I don’t

Question, why didn’t I notice

What you weren’t saying to me

Have I grown just too obtuse

And comfortable in my solitude

That I was deaf to your needs?

I felt it was a mistake to leave

Did those miles in-between- us

Damage my fatherly instincts?

Oh, I feel I’ve failed the very one

That always attentively listened

And been there during my needs

Only you and God know it now

As I alone silently wrestle …without

Detoured

I’m reminded of the times

You pulled me from darkness

Where life left me stranded

Steeped in unknown fringes

You reflected a strength

That I once herald myself

Before the scars I bare now

And long before your birth

I still recall our conversations

Where you inspired me onward

Hugged hope back into my heart

Wiped away my fallen tears

Modeling unconditional love

That separates us… for now

Chain reactions

The breakage of morning

The lost half-thoughts

Intermediate raindrops

The broken text habit

The dampened whispers

Fractured flutters of my heart

And those avoided pictures

There are thousands of things

Secretly tucked away

Within the folds of our time

Most distinctly lead me back

To treasured conversations

And your absent colorful facets

That used to heighten…my life

Vive l’amour

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Pexels.com

The awkwardness is new

And returns each morning

A sobering reality of truth

Part of me must still reject

Vulgar fact of your death

Causing the rest of myself

To want to join in a rebellion

But a petite part still resist

As ugly as it has all become

And I remain- torn in two

By such an incompatibility

Reluctant to lose more of you

Even in the smallest of ways

Even if it causes … madness

Galvanized

To be so emotionally invested

Prior and long after your birth

In all those countless moments

We epitomized our shared life

Of God’s loves in divine purpose

We found a truth in each other

Joy of the heart and soul alike

Heightening each other’s- love

Walking a threshold so few find

That borders with heaven itself

We knew it and appreciated that

Living onward through our legacies

To impossible that our lived love

Let alone our- specialized bond

Merely comes to a stop…at death

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