Abruptions

 

Drunken neon lights and cut throat skies

Repeated broken promise kind of life

Became my normalcy of subjectively

My disasters always seem to come

Out of no where, no ominous warning

Like hell bent wildfires with no end

And all I could do is hope I’d be taken

Just to hold hopes hand- it would all stop

Even if I was the collateral of devastation

Until- she- fell- like a Grace sent rain

Life can turn on a dime void of expectations

Her ebony eyes reveling unknown galaxies

As she quelled my damaged aching heart

Her soft words soothed my burning scars

Allowing me to think- somewhat, straight

I tasted life’s sweetness between breaths

And like a fool in love, I believed in ever-after

But cruelly nothing last forever, including- her

And through my bloodshot eyes of disbelief

Who knew that her loss of love would change

Only to feel more like unwanted icy drops

Lingering like fog in my torn memories

And I be back hoping to become a collateral stop

Belief, I’d never get another abrupting rain of…Grace

 

Poet of the Light © 2020

Cliché

 

I drank from a cup of old shadows

Until I got drunk on my own thoughts

Fell somewhere in-between the seconds

Ticking away from a faceless wall clock

 

I used to collect hours of your touch

Now I only collect specs of fallen dust

As I float like some forgotten whisper

In a dream that only came to me- once

 

The best of who I was is now a ghost

Meandering in fragments of my hearts home

Following wisps of your imaginary image

Grasping words your breaths no longer breathe

 

Beneath a slow moving overcast skyline

Waves beat incessantly at shattered…ice

 

Poet of the Light © 2020

Finish us  

 

It seems in these current days

I don’t have much to say… except

 

What a wicked game time tends

To cruelly play- in lives of life

Taking away love and happiness

Unlike in your arms, where I felt born again-

Wholly, tempered, finally justified

Where truth and lovers live  

 

All- I can hope now is

You’re better off there than here

We were once so close,

When it comes to closeness

 

Now reality feels like those

Wide open spaces between us

Where I still dream we’ll run

Someday, so we can live- love

 

Even though it’s as if

Only my eye sees this falling rain

That has taken over the reins

Of my bleeding cold nights and days

 

Oh- now I barely feel those cold drops

Drip slowly away through my hands

Where the heat of our passion collapsed  

Warming our moist palms, again and again

 

You know- the enormous amount of pain

It takes for a single teardrop to weep

Is nearly humanly unfathomable but-

Comes all too easily for me, since you’ve gone

 

Oh- how God and I know just how bad

You’ve let me down- and left to drown

Yet- still I wanna love you, incessantly

 

That faint sound my heart makes now

Is because of how- you’ve bruised

My soul- so unexpectedly

 

As that haunting, haunting silence in-between

These heartbeats- is where you’ve carelessly

Broken me, repeatedly- in all my memories

 

And still- here I am, a wiser fool, Baby

Waiting to love you- ever foolishly again

With all, all that I have…left unbroken with

 

Poet of the Light © 2020

Before after

 

 

No matter how hard I try

I can’t get past, missing you

It has become all too familiar

Like that moment in time, just before

Everything that matters- changes

The gravity of reality was too much

To bear even for my reluctant tears

And like my heart, they fell, splattered

“I miss you” couldn’t begin to cover

The raw scars left in your place

To accompany those moments

I’ve regrettably have come to hate:

A plethora of moments before

Cruelly subsequence your departure

Before I learned my invincibility

Was found cloaked in your arms

Before I knew your love for me

Could touch so deep- within

Before the taste of your lips

Would become my only hunger

Before the pain that now defines me

Reminds me, I simply can’t endure

Before every bound memory of you

Also binds all happiness I’ve known

Even now my brave tears cling

To the endless redness of my eyes

And like that micro moment before

Dawn blushes color of the next horizon

I feel your cold absence…ever more

 

Poet of the Light © 2020

 

 

 

Disadvantaged

 

By some designed emotional mystic inception

Of what we individually define as love- itself;

Typically had its inchoative spark into our life;

Regardless of however short lived, it might live

Long before our mere conscious dares to fathom

Accepted knowledge of its very fluent presence;

We will always seem to be catching up, mentally

Or feel abandoned by in its unexplainable absence

When it left us, long before we care to…realize it

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Featherless

 

There are moments I feel compelled

To pack up and escape…something

Most would phrase it “getting away”

For me, at times, its getting to somewhere

Maybe, for a day or two, maybe a week

I just never know until, I’m packing

I oft like secluded places, I guess- to think

Which, ironically I do most frequently

It could be, I get bored with myself?

Perchance I subconsciously need a change

Or I hope to be randomly in the right place

For what- I’m never quite sure about

Which brings me to mention an event

I had the other day, a queer epiphany

Shortly after my arrival I went for a stretch

Now mind you, I rarely ever do that

But recently- I had stopped for a rest

After a ponderous walk by the waters edge

Always being sure not to get my feet wet

I took a dry seat on a bolderish shoreline

The sun: being low at this time of year

Was feeling rather warm for mid-day

And I- began feeling very thirsty

When I realized, in all my years visiting

I never so much as saw one Pelican bird

And I thought to myself, that was most odd

After all- this place is called: Pelican Bay

No memory comes to mind of complaints

In minor conversation I’ve encountered

By other visitors or even locals alike

One would think near the bulwark

Where they have a seasonal food stand

It would host a migrating flock at least

Perhaps, I’ve simply not been here;

If and whenever they may have come?

Perhaps further, they are more like love;

That for some, comes in rare seasons?

Perhaps again, that was also my message

By some divine intellectual intervention

On why as of late, whenever I peregrinate

Only one set of footprints are left behind

Perhaps what needs to really change for me

Is to truly quench, whats really missing?

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Metallic

 

You silently pray love steals you away

She smartly smiled- our eyes locked

Time froze my utterance and courage

Just as she turned and walked away

Everything inside me hoped she’d turn back

Thereby thawing my fear with a glance

I was so filled with tunnel vision

To be shamefully honest- I didn’t notice

As her and the train both departed

 

I wanted so desperately

For her to know and really see me

It almost felt misguidedly obsessive

The year we spent sporadically chatting

But I dared not foolishly show it

Not openly at least, nor even audibly

A dark fog of shyness simply concluded

She’d too easily reject someone like me

What could I offer her anyways?

As I’ve learned through past scars

There is a vast difference

Between love and apathy gifting pity

Through out random conversations

Akin friends and palpable enemies

Cautiously afraid of the others true strength

Or notice all they held in common

 

While one loves in spite of everything

The other loves only to hate their life

And sympathy lays itself out bare

An unbiased bridge to both, unfortunately

Which is why real love is oft found

Unprepared in a welcoming sort of way

Perhaps I seemed- too welcoming?

 

Nonetheless, I remained reserved

The way a dinner table collects time

As timeless music faintly fills the air

Waiting for her- and perfect moments

To collide with my secret adoration

And then loves conception begets us

Mired in candle flames and glances

Over carefully planned aromatic dinners

Adorned with filled bordeaux’s of wine

Degusting the sweetness of life

Rapid heartbeats and conversations

Unconscious visual tantalization’s

Steamy smiles and bit lip inferences

That strings forth- love being lived

 

Oh the curse filled heart of a poet!

To live a dramatic life, torn heartbeats

Dying one moment whilst humanly clinging

To the frayed tether of idealistic hope

That love will come rescue me, for once

So that irony and I- need not meet…again

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Needlework

 

Akin where the Cape Horn lies

Everyday I rise- and then fall

On but a razors edge unseen

Below the living surface

Demarcation of a soul lining

Pacific and Atlantic Oceans

Separated, to the naked eye

Much in the same way as

Death and life…neatly  sown

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Simon-pure

 

Zephyrs filled with voices come

Some idealistic yet others musical

Their wake speaks the loudest truth

 

Like a neglected child- who lays

Upon the peripherals edge of day

I’ve come to fully embrace darkness

As if it were- my own sacred blanket

 

Where my pretentious best friend

Is merely echoes of what I’ve said

During my heartfelt vesper whispers

Reflecting the life as an enlightened

 

In that way I further pretend, I matter

To someone who’s out truly- looking

But will never find me…without a heart

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Coquette

 

Echoes resound within echoes

My tattered empire has fallen

And the pretentious have fled

Even all sentient dust- settled

As time obtusely ticks waywardly

My breath still lives, in winds

Like whispers of love fleeting

That breezes through now and then

These skeletal remains, of all I was

That infamous caged source of my love

Was beating a rhythmic flame of desire

Before- she ripped it out all its colors

Her cold words acted like evil hands

And despair clouded in as an overcast

Adorned with ghostly images of her

Pernicious has stolen hopes throne

My frayed faith resting on the ground

Within the massive footprint…she’s left

 

Poet of the Light © 2019