Mis-charted

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My whole life has been the same

I was born out of a broken sea

Every day is a new ocean wave

Following a course to drown me

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Life itself comes to me in agitations  

Setting a precedence of what to expect

I’ve not known the sense of wholeness

My expectations tend to drown away  

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To find true love out in a bitter sea

I have to believe- that someone else

Is out here floating along patiently

Believing they’ll find some one like me

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We’ll collide in the same broken wave

Finding love in the other’s … broken tragedy

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Poet of the Light © 2021

Essentially

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Still after all this time

I find, I’m still amazed

Just how many times

Pain changes many things

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Learning again to let go  

Has many more versions

But I’m happy to know

I’m learning them easier

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Letting go of some people

I gave far too much credit

Can never really love me

As I do them in every moment

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It’s not me hurting deep inside

It’s really my raw love … that cries  

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Poet of the Light © 2021

Should you get lost

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I will come on, like early morning

Soft and soothing as an old song  

Just before dawn burst wide open

I promise, I will be there waiting

Before your beautiful eyes shine  

I’ll bring you your favorite flower

Full bloom greeting when you awaken

While fresh coffee will be brewing

Then I will bring your breakfast

And butter preserves on your toast

As you acclimate all your thoughts

Even if- you’ve forgotten my name

Afterwards, I’ll whisper in your ear

As I slowly brush your greying hair

I’ll remind you of our journey in life

Before and after, our love came to be

And in-between the forgotten answers

I’ll calmly smile as I eagerly reexplain

I will paint your memories back in words  

I whisper from the depth of my heart

We’ll talk about those magic mountains

We enjoyed in every refreshing winter

And the colors of fall- befalling changes

In shredded layers of dancing leaves

I will always find you, where you are

Oh, my Love of all things, I promise

I will remind you about your garden

All your beautiful flowers you planted

You called them, children of your soul

We’ll laugh at the stories we made up

Like all those butterflies that visit us

Really being secret angels, in disguise

Serving as ambassadors of all changes

I will escort you on your daily walks

Arm in arm talking steps of time away

Speak about the oceans we swam in

And nightly beaches, we made love on

While the moon hid behind sheer clouds

We will watch the setting of the sun

Every evening in a slow gentle breeze  

Sitting in our rocking chairs silently

As if life was our own secret movie  

And we played as its only character’s

Tears will swell up inside my old eyes

Whenever I know you recognize- me  

And hold me close in tightly forever’s

They way you’ve done so many times

We will continue to live our love true

I promise Love, I’ll watch… over you

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Poet of the Light © 2021 Dementia

Unwanted changes

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One by one they fell away

Like leaves that dried up

And loss the strength to stay

Drifting off, in rogue whispers

Going somewhere not here

Nothing I could’ve ever said

Would’ve changed any of it

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So, like a naked tree I stand

All alone and getting older

In a cover field of hinterland

No way out of this madness

My heart broken and bleeding

In shades of grey, I can’t even see

I wonder if they ever… seen me?

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Poet of the Light © 2021

Contemporaneous

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My scars have recovered somewhat

Ashes of colorful futures fall amongst

This dust, through my shaky fingers

My fearless hopes in most all others

Still bleed profusely now and then  

I still struggle to clear blurred vision

In this new and unwanted landscape  

But- Truth be told, I can honestly say:

It isn’t just a heart alone that breaks

It’s all those whispered lofty dreams

And my irreplaceable broken trust

That I foolishly thought was treasured

It’s the full shattering of one’s world

That quickly imploded on me … all at once

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Poet of the Light © 2021

Disregarded  

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Who was right, who was wrong

Doesn’t matter much anymore

Who we were, has simply gone

I couldn’t repair, what I didn’t break

And just because I walked away

Don’t you think that it doesn’t hurt

At least, any less than if I had stayed

I realized when something is so broken

Something else really had to changed

But I knew I’d never change my heart

God knows, I had to change my mind

And pretend- I didn’t care anymore

I may be alone and still broken inside

I’ve promised to give myself… healing time

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Poet of the Light © 2021

Wild gardens  

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My memories suddenly erupted  

Beneath my skins pale surface

Once I caught a full glimpse

Of that meadow of dandelions

Recalling our most secret picnics

Off- far from all the world’s eyes

Like all those whiteish green stains

We acquired in breathless delight

Guilty smudges upon our bare skin

Evidence of our passionate …appetite

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Poet of the Light © 2021

Contradictions  

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We spent time in long conversations

Talking about our unfulfilled dreams

And how wonderful- it would really be

Having someone want the same things

Now you doubt what I say, I think  

If my words- aren’t heard in kind

Then how can the feelings behind,

Their every whisper, be felt inside?

I just don’t understand why today

You say, the two of us is a mistake

It feels so strange- in this moment

To even being talking in this way    

I mean what I say, and what I do   

You go your way … I’ll go mine too

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Poet of the Light © 2021

Wandering blind  

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Always seemed to take the long way

Getting slow to where I wanted to go

Even if sometimes, it was in circles

While just trying to find my own direction

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To someone that only seeks self-satisfaction  

Living by my code is too hard to explain

When sometimes you must feel the truth

Hard times in love and life, just my normal

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What good is living a proverbial good life,

If you’re daily living- is barely surviving,

Between daylight and colorless midnights,

Dreaming of dreams, I’ll never see come true?

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Slow walking my way back to somewhere else

Praying I’ll get lost in love instead … somehow

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Poet of the Light © 2021

Ordained perplexity

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We are gifted grey skies

Wind, rain, and cold snow

To learn from and to know

Fate itself: the finger of God

Swirling the waters, of life

Churning the best outcome

Even if we understand …not

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Poet of the Light © 2021