Transactional

Ignorance is a bliss we squander

Far too easily every day we are naïve

While it last, we boastfully own freedom

But over time and from painful lessons

As bubbles burst, and hearts- broken

We advance into that fuller knowledge

Crossing that unseen threshold

With strange and our learned friends

How misused our love has become

Only to steep even further in depths

Reaching the scholarly peripherals

Realizing we- ourselves are a commodity

And just as complicit in horse trading

Our battle born hearts for … sold slavery

Crisscrossing

On occasion, I re-experience

Stepping in steps I’ve tread before

Some of heavy mud, some hard payment

And feel that familiarity be- born

As well as some of old discomforts

As if my shoes in those certain places

Have crudely become too outworn

Nonetheless, I peregrinate onwardly

Pragmatically watching each step carefully

In hopes I quickly leave behind

A trail I have learned and left before

The temptation to remain is too strong

From memories I carry with me, anyways

And live a used-up past for … all my future

X-factors

Have I done love itself all wrong;

In my most immature of nature;

Or has love wronged all my heart;

Thereby breaking my inner spirit?

Tis too confounding of many variables

For me, for I will not be controlled

And controlled offered me no quenching

For any craving that simply acquiesces

Perhaps the environment was wrong

Or the sun too high on those rainy days

Where my shadow got lost, along the way

Perhaps that is why I thrive in darkness?

How I’ve thirsted for what I should not

A found lost friend that knew me not … at all

Boundless


Oh! how easy it has come for me
Almost like second nature, taking first
To beat emotions with wordy cudgels 
Mentally, senselessly again and again
As if- that individual was a virgin drum
In desperate need of renewed breaking in 
And heightening even more all this mess 
Intoxicating pain served, as my new love 
It’s so much quicker to just hurt myself 
Let me save you from the duty of scaring 
My whole identity and inner self-worth  
Saving you from the burden of … your love 

Poet of the Light © 2021

China shop

Photo by Toa Heftiba u015einca on Pexels.com

The sun rose up eerie that day 
Clouds seem to be at a stand still 
I really didn’t care much as all 
Smiling to wholeness of my world
As every color brought me more joy 
With remnants of those moon kisses 
Still wet and fresh upon my lips  
Then sadly- I noticed, your absence 
By then all the clouds disappeared 
Somehow, I stood there- in the rain
Felt the heat burn me in place 
My heart and mind going senseless
My lips suddenly cracked and dried 
Everything: a new shade of grey 
Even unspoken whispers couldn’t fly 
In your wake all you left behind 
Was for me to innocently sigh 
Wallow in hollowed memories
Kneel in an overwhelming disbelief
Even my inhales were half shattered  
I was just another- broken piece
Of the world your horns have ravaged  
All I am, is your… collateral damage 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021

Barrowed

 

Oblivious to nature of the galaxy 
How it toils on without permission
However, we do notice of its presents 
When that infamous tolled bell rings 
If- I hear echoes of the bell tolled 
I know, twas not for I- not this time 
Yet- and none the less I am lessened 
Of whom it tolled in reconciliation
To notably lose an unmet friend 
In a most eerie but secretive silence 
That often can have a chilling effect
I should relax; loosen my tense cringe 
Recollect my lost train of thought, as if
Nothing at all happened… when it did  

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 

Re: Ernest Hemmingway
For whom the bell tolls~

Flesh and bone

August charred anything breathing 
Especially if you went out after dawn 
Everyone thought I was just reading  
Biding my time but silently dreaming
Of love dipping in midnight passions
Dehydration plays with imaginations  
I used to wait mostly by the window 
Watching that amberoid ball lumber  
Around suppertime she’d be glancing
Between those ivory sheer curtains  
An hour later she’d go out for a walk 
I be out there- conveniently waiting
Summer sweat dripping of my body  
She’d smile and wink; I followed along 
Down a dirt road to the fishing pond 
Summer heat needs some cooling off 
But man! I was just warming up 
No one noticed we were missing 
Their laughter’s echoes in the breeze 
But I sure wasn’t missing anything 
Her pale skin glowed in moonlight 
I was convinced she was all goddess
A pair of bare silhouettes splashing
Churning up more than shallow waters
More than a simple boy could handle   
Her hair danced in the setting sun 
Amber tinted black just like molasses
She could have colored me blind 
I tell you, I wouldn’t have minded
My soul was flirting with danger 
Nearing midnight, she lit us on fire
Time after time I nearly lost conscious 
I was willingly caught in her clutch 
Only the good Lord could have saved me 
But thankfully, he was just far too busy 
My whole childhood; coming undone 
She took me to insanity … and then some 

Poet of the Light © 2021

Grand-scheme

Akin the breeze needs to be felt 
The way flowers need the rain
I craved- beyond my inner self
Unknowably  
Like the everlasting sun 
You brought light 
Filling up all my darkness
And much like the moon
Ever gentle and smooth
You existed by just being you 
From afar, I could see- life  
Everything I could not believe in 
And then up close I held hope
Like a fragile child sleeping 
And felt it stirring in my essence  
That I was more than I ever knew
More than I was ever led to think   
I was greater than they said
Greater than they could have imagined
Greater than my empty absence 
Greater than even my empty hands  
Oh! Dear sweet love 
I wasn’t going to permit myself to dream 
Now- I just can’t help it
All the missing color brought life 
Which in turn, set it afire 
You- 
May never truly understand
What you help make happen  
The liberation you gifted
Breath by effortless breath
To every heartbeat I ever had   
In taking the time to be connected 
I learned to love enough, to let go
I’ve let be, of even me  
So, I- could live love itself- finally 
The way life and love were mean to be 
You nurtured my broken heart
You nurtured my damaged soul
You nurtured back from being marooned  
God knows, I do not want it, but-
I’ll understand, if ever you must… go 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021

Non causa pro causa

Points of views; professional or layman’s 
Can be deceiving and further distorting 
WE are all fallible at any given moment  
Dreams can be as inebriating as cathartic  
To vividly live beyond one’s own boundaries
Even in an imaginary bubble of sleep like 
Offer us insight we’ve unconsciously impeded 
Can create motivation to pursue past obstacles
Serve as a focus point and real sense of direction 
Unless- the dreams are beyond one’s ability
Beyond any practical means of achieving
Remember, the snowflake effect is actually real
And can just as easily burry us under context 
Well then, dreams become the drunken issue
Where we start living life only in dreams 
And stop paying attention to real opportunities 
Only to struggle in the real world, as a failure
A version of yourself, you play for everyone else 
Compounding, conflating and disorienting- us
Dreams are beautiful when realistic and honest
Or- like some drug filled life of disappointments
A means of sabotaging ourselves because we adopt 
Rational and reasoning from others; ignoring ours
Only to consume life, foolishly wasting it away 
By crossing over bridges of resentment and jealousy
Right after we torch the very foundation of them 
Conveniently inventing our excuses well in advance 
So much effort, for crumbs of someone else leftovers 
That, they may never even had wanted to begin with 
Remember that life is filled with bad accomplices 
Insecurely offering us cursory encouragements  
We must be our greatest arbiters, in every moment 
Not suggesting we settle for less than: achievable 
But we must identify our own true limitations  
Merely stating reality deserves our full integrity
And as such, shouldn’t we deserve our full attention? 
Be it about our finances, health, or introspection
Break the mirror, dare to shatter those illusions 
And have an unconditional conversation within 
I find, our duty: being the best self … we’ll accept 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021

Exquisite friend


A blushed sun is veiled this day 
Marbled grey skies; fogyish overcast 
Interchanging breezes, so apropos 
There is no one to send flowers to
Rose thoughts permeates the ambience 
Nor sentiments for the obvious loss
Or to see paying their last respects 
The sound of taps won’t be heard
Echoing out like moaning birds 
No- you expelled all that in darkness
In depths where love and you crashed   
Crowds won’t be here gathered around
To shake any hands or wiping tears 
Regrets for things left unsaid- vacant 
Your scars need not mend complete now
Cause for love is being laid, tragically 
The sermon, will come as silent whispers
All will miss the unsaid moral message
No one will know they were even thought 
And I- need not battle with your odd wits 
Nor the choices you made so impulsively 
I will miss dragging you out of hell’s gates
I guess in my own way, I always believed 
Your finishing act would be in such fashion 
Daring to love, one last time, unabashedly  
I will truly wish your full forgiveness  
Each time I come visit… my faithful heart  

.
Poet of the Light © 2021

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