Transactional

Ignorance is a bliss we squander

Far too easily every day we are naïve

While it last, we boastfully own freedom

But over time and from painful lessons

As bubbles burst, and hearts- broken

We advance into that fuller knowledge

Crossing that unseen threshold

With strange and our learned friends

How misused our love has become

Only to steep even further in depths

Reaching the scholarly peripherals

Realizing we- ourselves are a commodity

And just as complicit in horse trading

Our battle born hearts for … sold slavery

Crisscrossing

On occasion, I re-experience

Stepping in steps I’ve tread before

Some of heavy mud, some hard payment

And feel that familiarity be- born

As well as some of old discomforts

As if my shoes in those certain places

Have crudely become too outworn

Nonetheless, I peregrinate onwardly

Pragmatically watching each step carefully

In hopes I quickly leave behind

A trail I have learned and left before

The temptation to remain is too strong

From memories I carry with me, anyways

And live a used-up past for … all my future

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Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric on Pexels.com

It’s nothing I can truly explain

But every once and a while

And out of the blue- it just happens

So hard to define- into words

That I know will never justify it

But the best I can depict, is:

Escorting a summer breeze

That hasn’t noticed my presence

Its like walking all alone

Void of even a fragment of a shadow

In the midst of a summer day

That has chosen to dress in a haze

Why, I just don’t really know

But then a shift takes place

And an unseen storm comes along

Temperatures rapidly drop

My skin erupts- in goosebumps

Suddenly it begins to heavily rain

I silent smile- so unexpectedly

I can feel every single drop

As well as their flowing trail

Over my soul, like fingertips

Bring lost emotions back alive

Carrying secret notes they carry inside

They pour them out upon me

And then, and then I realize

I can almost feel her embodiment

And smell the scent of her fragrance

The faint kiss, of her silky lips

Raindrops trickle down my back

Chills rise up to my skins surface

Feel as if they could be, her whispers

Oh! I still believe in miracles

That elusive unfound dream

Is passing through to notice me

If only to help renew my belief

In time, every prayer is answered

Some start as … tiny raindrops

Mindlessness

The cruelty seems inhumane at times

To a heart and long-sleeved emotions

When unexpected illusions seem all too real

With those sporadic visits of sound kindness

As connectiveness becomes the conduit

That oft resparks one’s acute inner interest

Long enough to create a new longing

After feeling a little bit less- darkly broken

But- end up feel like a renewed wasteland

Someone has visited like a place of respite

Not leaving so much as a note in their absence

That only you seem to have taken notice of

That, and the eerie sound of shallow breathes

Whilst staring out rosy windows at … barrens

Unquantifiable

I cannot begin to count, even now

How many times we restarted- us

Or how many times I eagerly forgave

Ignoring the fresh wounds and scars

You wanted more than was possible

But nothing would really be enough

Nor did you comprehend, my love

I was too blind to really realize reality

You and our love, could not be saved

I treaded water in the wrong direction

Trying to save what was unreachable

I fell in love with uncontrollable chaos

It felt like home inside my broken soul

It hurt me the utmost … to let you go

Finer soil

I really didn’t think I’d get over you

But one day at a time, came true

Summer became winter into spring

A few stumbles of time learned aged

Oh, it’s not my heart don’t still break

Whenever something reminds me of us

And how we once lived a life of love

You cannot break it any worse today

A heart never really gets tough enough

To withstand fractures that hurt deep

It will just never heal the same it was

I learned that don’t mean I can’t love

By pouring out all that ugliness within

To recreate something beautiful … again

Baby girl

Five steps to what seemed my one

It wasn’t long, her wisdom took over

As she suddenly let go of my fingers

She took off- hurrying barefooted

Back and forth down the sidewalk

In her version of a drunken sailor

Sunlight danced off her curly hair

Sundress and excited arms were flying

Giggles added to her growing charm

Her laughter was certainly infectious

I swear, this girl was born half angel

You could tell by her half tooth smile

The first time she really tasted freedom

She has been chasing after it…ever since

a/k/a Daddy

Lacerations

What is experienced is always real

Only their perceptions can be fallible

You simply don’t forget an earthquake

Or a massive divide opening before you

It said, things do wane over some time

But only in accuracy of that statement

Platitudes prattled never heal anything

They’re just cursory placebo’s cynics offer

I know fully the depth of my love gifted

As well as its breadth in embracement’s

It stems from my soul and all I’ll ever be

Until you treat me like yesterday’s confetti

It’s not my heartbreaks lessen any in pain

Or that the pain has magically weakened

Not when it comes to the truth of my heart

For every fracture and crevasse, tells a story

Oh, trust me, I do still unabashedly cry!

My tears have just lost enthusiasm to drop

You’ve broken those things in me that loves

Wounds… require loves unfathomable touch

Offing

Unexpected doesn’t begin to define it

It was like tectonic plates shifting

Each teardrop shed was a mixture

Of disappointment and full disquiet

Unleashing a humanistic reality of hurt

I was completely helpless to stop it

A newfound void ushered in your place

The ways shadows overtake- presence

Causing my erratic heartbeats to echo

In those repeated resounding fashions

And I felt my solid inner self, crumble

Like a humbled mountain befalls to a pile

I could hear the foreboding tsunami roar

And knew my life was about to be … darker

Still listening

It goes without saying, all alone

I’ve never forgotten one moment

Of the love we created, embraced

Like eternal flames in the winds

As we danced upon life’s razor’s edge

Invincible- within each other’s arms

And convinced we owned- forever

Colorful galaxies beheld in our eyes

Merely a kaleidoscope of our brokenness

Oh! skips of my hearts pitter-patter

Knows exactly what I do mean

And how selfishly I tearfully wish now

I would’ve captured the breathes

Of each of your whispers… then

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