Transactional

Ignorance is a bliss we squander

Far too easily every day we are naïve

While it last, we boastfully own freedom

But over time and from painful lessons

As bubbles burst, and hearts- broken

We advance into that fuller knowledge

Crossing that unseen threshold

With strange and our learned friends

How misused our love has become

Only to steep even further in depths

Reaching the scholarly peripherals

Realizing we- ourselves are a commodity

And just as complicit in horse trading

Our battle born hearts for … sold slavery

Crisscrossing

On occasion, I re-experience

Stepping in steps I’ve tread before

Some of heavy mud, some hard payment

And feel that familiarity be- born

As well as some of old discomforts

As if my shoes in those certain places

Have crudely become too outworn

Nonetheless, I peregrinate onwardly

Pragmatically watching each step carefully

In hopes I quickly leave behind

A trail I have learned and left before

The temptation to remain is too strong

From memories I carry with me, anyways

And live a used-up past for … all my future

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Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric on Pexels.com

It’s nothing I can truly explain

But every once and a while

And out of the blue- it just happens

So hard to define- into words

That I know will never justify it

But the best I can depict, is:

Escorting a summer breeze

That hasn’t noticed my presence

Its like walking all alone

Void of even a fragment of a shadow

In the midst of a summer day

That has chosen to dress in a haze

Why, I just don’t really know

But then a shift takes place

And an unseen storm comes along

Temperatures rapidly drop

My skin erupts- in goosebumps

Suddenly it begins to heavily rain

I silent smile- so unexpectedly

I can feel every single drop

As well as their flowing trail

Over my soul, like fingertips

Bring lost emotions back alive

Carrying secret notes they carry inside

They pour them out upon me

And then, and then I realize

I can almost feel her embodiment

And smell the scent of her fragrance

The faint kiss, of her silky lips

Raindrops trickle down my back

Chills rise up to my skins surface

Feel as if they could be, her whispers

Oh! I still believe in miracles

That elusive unfound dream

Is passing through to notice me

If only to help renew my belief

In time, every prayer is answered

Some start as … tiny raindrops

Mindlessness

The cruelty seems inhumane at times

To a heart and long-sleeved emotions

When unexpected illusions seem all too real

With those sporadic visits of sound kindness

As connectiveness becomes the conduit

That oft resparks one’s acute inner interest

Long enough to create a new longing

After feeling a little bit less- darkly broken

But- end up feel like a renewed wasteland

Someone has visited like a place of respite

Not leaving so much as a note in their absence

That only you seem to have taken notice of

That, and the eerie sound of shallow breathes

Whilst staring out rosy windows at … barrens

Unquantifiable

I cannot begin to count, even now

How many times we restarted- us

Or how many times I eagerly forgave

Ignoring the fresh wounds and scars

You wanted more than was possible

But nothing would really be enough

Nor did you comprehend, my love

I was too blind to really realize reality

You and our love, could not be saved

I treaded water in the wrong direction

Trying to save what was unreachable

I fell in love with uncontrollable chaos

It felt like home inside my broken soul

It hurt me the utmost … to let you go

Finer soil

I really didn’t think I’d get over you

But one day at a time, came true

Summer became winter into spring

A few stumbles of time learned aged

Oh, it’s not my heart don’t still break

Whenever something reminds me of us

And how we once lived a life of love

You cannot break it any worse today

A heart never really gets tough enough

To withstand fractures that hurt deep

It will just never heal the same it was

I learned that don’t mean I can’t love

By pouring out all that ugliness within

To recreate something beautiful … again

Baby girl

Five steps to what seemed my one

It wasn’t long, her wisdom took over

As she suddenly let go of my fingers

She took off- hurrying barefooted

Back and forth down the sidewalk

In her version of a drunken sailor

Sunlight danced off her curly hair

Sundress and excited arms were flying

Giggles added to her growing charm

Her laughter was certainly infectious

I swear, this girl was born half angel

You could tell by her half tooth smile

The first time she really tasted freedom

She has been chasing after it…ever since

a/k/a Daddy

Still listening

It goes without saying, all alone

I’ve never forgotten one moment

Of the love we created, embraced

Like eternal flames in the winds

As we danced upon life’s razor’s edge

Invincible- within each other’s arms

And convinced we owned- forever

Colorful galaxies beheld in our eyes

Merely a kaleidoscope of our brokenness

Oh! skips of my hearts pitter-patter

Knows exactly what I do mean

And how selfishly I tearfully wish now

I would’ve captured the breathes

Of each of your whispers… then

Pearls of presence

Oftentimes a shadow of loneliness visits

It is not as ominous as it might sound

At least in this context here, for myself

We have- what I’d call deep conversations

Having come to terms with our unique roles

And not meaning to sound schizophrenic

Or someone suffering from hallucinations

But we all have a past that doesn’t let go

Nor does it forget, even if we pretend, ignorance

It seems wiser to make friends with old ghost

Then drive yourself absolutely insane

For not appreciating treasured moments alone

It is in these times I relish playing the host

On my terms, and so I can slowly … let go

Liberate

Oh! The times I’ve tried

To reach through the pall

Of all- my envisioned dreams

And bring you here into my life

Oh! I can’t begin to even count

But I’ve felt them, unmistakably

I don’t want to just dream, anymore

A million miles from your fingertips

Rescue me- with your open arms

From this mere perpetual vision

Tell me, tell me now the truth

I have to know, are you really real

Or just my hearts hoped, illusion?

And if I- cannot pull you to me

Dream woman, pull me … to you

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