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It’s nothing I can truly explain

But every once and a while

And out of the blue- it just happens

So hard to define- into words

That I know will never justify it

But the best I can depict, is:

Escorting a summer breeze

That hasn’t noticed my presence

Its like walking all alone

Void of even a fragment of a shadow

In the midst of a summer day

That has chosen to dress in a haze

Why, I just don’t really know

But then a shift takes place

And an unseen storm comes along

Temperatures rapidly drop

My skin erupts- in goosebumps

Suddenly it begins to heavily rain

I silent smile- so unexpectedly

I can feel every single drop

As well as their flowing trail

Over my soul, like fingertips

Bring lost emotions back alive

Carrying secret notes they carry inside

They pour them out upon me

And then, and then I realize

I can almost feel her embodiment

And smell the scent of her fragrance

The faint kiss, of her silky lips

Raindrops trickle down my back

Chills rise up to my skins surface

Feel as if they could be, her whispers

Oh! I still believe in miracles

That elusive unfound dream

Is passing through to notice me

If only to help renew my belief

In time, every prayer is answered

Some start as … tiny raindrops

Finer soil

I really didn’t think I’d get over you

But one day at a time, came true

Summer became winter into spring

A few stumbles of time learned aged

Oh, it’s not my heart don’t still break

Whenever something reminds me of us

And how we once lived a life of love

You cannot break it any worse today

A heart never really gets tough enough

To withstand fractures that hurt deep

It will just never heal the same it was

I learned that don’t mean I can’t love

By pouring out all that ugliness within

To recreate something beautiful … again

Pearls of presence

Oftentimes a shadow of loneliness visits

It is not as ominous as it might sound

At least in this context here, for myself

We have- what I’d call deep conversations

Having come to terms with our unique roles

And not meaning to sound schizophrenic

Or someone suffering from hallucinations

But we all have a past that doesn’t let go

Nor does it forget, even if we pretend, ignorance

It seems wiser to make friends with old ghost

Then drive yourself absolutely insane

For not appreciating treasured moments alone

It is in these times I relish playing the host

On my terms, and so I can slowly … let go

Philosophy of my whispers

Most discoveries are lost by glossing.

I’m not into shallowness of people

Pretension that barely manages cursory

Only informs me I hold no value to you

Unless you are in need of me, temporally

Nonetheless, I choose to be charitable

I’m into tangible substance and honesty

Something I can relate to, fully embrace

Grasp as consistent as the sun and moon

Explore deeply into the unknown fathoms

Dependability and understandment

Sharing of a moment of breathless dawn

Unabashedly faithful; heart on your sleeve

The full breadth of a person as a person

That degust the sweetness of connectiveness

All running in a bidirectional avenue

True morality is only achievable by sinners

Perfection is to be strive for, however

I’ve learned to be flexible; more accepting

Perfection never requires achievement

And is really summed up by micro-moments

That become etched into a person soul

As memories that peregrinate along with

I know, not everyone cares as deeply as I

Too few can express basic sympathy at all

Nor can anyone ever be me, or I- them

Albeit time teaches those who pay attention

But your age affords you no intellectually

Especially if everything is all about you

And your actions always speak the loudest

Legacies are voided by fame and or money

I love with every fiber of my being and soul

Real love, is far too precious… to waste

Liberate

Oh! The times I’ve tried

To reach through the pall

Of all- my envisioned dreams

And bring you here into my life

Oh! I can’t begin to even count

But I’ve felt them, unmistakably

I don’t want to just dream, anymore

A million miles from your fingertips

Rescue me- with your open arms

From this mere perpetual vision

Tell me, tell me now the truth

I have to know, are you really real

Or just my hearts hoped, illusion?

And if I- cannot pull you to me

Dream woman, pull me … to you

Unpacking

Love is an eternal thing for me

Its fruition of divine knowledge

Two people have unlocked, live

You inhale, speak its wonderment

That still inspire heartfelt sonnets

And it defies all sound reason of logic

But can mean a plethora of things

And differently, for so many others

I really couldn’t begin to even fathom

Often, at least to me, too convenient

To claim, as if they’ve won a lottery

Thereby undermine its otherworldliness

Everchanging: a concept of terrific notice

Of which I admit I still grapple with

Cause it can be like a double edge sword

Which in itself, can be very unsettling

But- something in which I am sure of

Is, I still love everyone I ever loved

Despite death, estrangement, or life

Even those, whom I’ve never told

Held close in a crush like heart vault

Most of my pain; is from their loss

Unexpected, uncontrollable changes

And about that diminished access

None of which is easy to readily accept

After two souls melded spiritually

That’s not to say, I wasn’t angered

Not so much at them, the situations

More about the fashion it happened

Then in the happenings of the moments

Deteriorating promises and images

The lessor degree I suddenly mattered

To them and in part also my inner self

And the real unfortunate knowledge

What we had, created- was devoured

Insofar as “we” was now concerned

Which opened the door to move on

To a place of that absolute unknowns

Unwanted, scary, and yet, permanent

At least in small distractive ways

Until the pretending got much easier

Slowly replacing irascible depression

For many, they got extremely angry

Turn their love into malignant revenge

Their life became a dark myopic tunnel

Creating a sickness; one delves into lost

And most can never find their way out

But in truth, I’ll never get over all those

Heartbreaks, they’re my ultimate proof

For me, the love then… still matters now

Not a day goes by,

I don’t feel their absence.

Circled

Love is always causal, so it is said

But I find that specious at best

Shallow men prefer to blame religions

Instead- of their perverted versions

Desire and sacrifice play polemist

Winning me back and forth constantly

Trying to remain center is just egotistic

Tis truly a war of my hidden realties

Waging deep beneath these surfaces

Of what I feel and what I really think

Not to mention what my heart dreams

Most wouldn’t know I participate in

But then they never see the scars either

Nor hear of broken whispers on pillows

Craving is a most wild beast at large

Faith still proves to be an adroit warrior

I tend to have feigned bouts of accismus

Between my thoughts and heartbeats

Coyness: shattered heart learn quickly

Fighting for and against, body and soul

Oft I feel dragged in and out of this world

I care not for the ongoing to and fro

Eternality of love remains … my only goal

Mère et Ange

I was small and confused

But it never lasted long

And I moved on naively

Cause that’s all I had to do

Trust and look up to you

When my heart got broken

And I couldn’t understand

You explained, it just happens

But we heal better than new

Again, I looked up to you

Time slowly changed us both

But no matter where I was

I could call and get answers

Your voice made all the difference

In the present, I looked up to you

When you finally went away

I felt lost and somewhat afraid

No more inspirational talks

I was left to walk- by myself

I was gifted you … to look up to

In remembrance of my mother

There

Where the moons mellifluous hum 
Is heard but- slowly fading away 
Over the oceans horizontal waves
Never to return again, unchanged 

.
Where the sun always comes 
To kiss love on the broken waves 
Rejected by an unrelenting quay 
I will still imagine us together 

.
Where silence feels too alone 
To even whisper any sound 
And snowflakes fall like feathers
I will be there waiting with my love 

.
Where our laughter's embrace time 
And you fall in love … in my arms  

.
Poet of the Light © 2021

Songless

Its queer how directions are altered 
By the slightest pressure or presence 
Accidental or by nefarious intentions
Still, a new trajectory begs the questions 
Is it for the worser or for ones bettering? 
How far is too far, if permissible at all?  

Then there are thresholds I cannot cross
Some by my own choice of conscious 
While others, remain caused by a cause
Beyond my own feeble understandment 
I can’t speak of or put into real words 
Some things are better left- discolored  

Between the ever-changing spectrum 
Of societies moral and immoral beliefs 
I have strayed guilty and just innocently 
Childish heart over-ruling the elder mind
Lesson learned from pain filled failings 
And some, not of my own personal doing 
But evermore present in spirit and scars 
 
But then- there are those thresholds
That just refuse to leave me- alone 
As if they are reluctant friends, sort of 
In the way a second shadow shows up
But really wanting to be totally free
Of any responsibility for the beset… me  

Poet of the Light © 2021

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