Cherishables

Between the distance and silence

There lives a hollowness to subsist

Where fires burn from held memories

Of older days that have passed

But live forever in our hearts

Like whispers without shadows

Only our souls can interpret

I tried to spare you some pain

Even if it came, at my own expense

But I was totally oblivious

That you were doing the same

Sometimes the price of love

Comes at our greatest tax

And that’s what makes it… beautiful

Instinctiveness

I sense a shadowy echo

On peripheral of my grief

Attributed more to others

Who’s long since left me

Before darkness did befall

I hear well-meaning people

Sputter in their platitudes

Not realizing at all they do

Insensitively make it worse

Still, I’ll remain charitable

And carry this extra burden

How ironic they do believe

I should forget my memories

Of the very loved one I loss

Pretend life is good again

Move on, move past them

Compartmentalize emotion

As if they were just a thought

To be forgotten from now on

Yes, they do insult love itself

In my full understandment

Of what love should depict

But then again, it might be

They’ve never loved anyone

Let alone… unconditionally

Penrose

Photo by Anastasia Belousova on Pexels.com

There was a shift in our universe

Its appearance was even dimmer

Music became indistinguishable

We both noticed but said nothing

I believed instinctively we knew

More and more effort was required

As we tried to recapture that- us

First, I thought it was me being off

Then I thought it was really you

I was right in part on both counts

But not for the reasons concluded

Turns out, we were really good at

Misleading each other; survivalist

Truth was, we never really had … us

Unreel

Envisioning fairytale ending torments

No matter how much I over-practice

It’s never easy once you know its over

Sometimes it feels like falling upwards

Trying to find a way to hold, letting go

All I ever wanted to remain was simply

Fitted in your arms under moonlit nights

Scent of trust lingering in a breeze passing

Living love endlessly- in stolen moments

The one’s life doesn’t really take notice of

The ones that keep me awake cold sober

The ones that starve this burning fervor

The ones that haunt a heart laying alone

The ones killing me slowly with… hope

Maintenance-free

I resign that, I was created a certain way

For a certain set of unknown reasons

Till my skills are required in their moments

Which are often performed as impromptu

Like a refined humanized, self-fine tuner

Albeit, they’ve have aided my triumphs

However, they’ve also aided in my downfalls

I’m sure in my biased mind, I’d like to think

In some divine math it simply balances me

In a quaint fashion … I’ll never understand

Involuntary

There’s this distinctive residue

That clings to me, unceasingly

And I suspect it’s some sort of

Derivative of our broken love

Bits of you that seems to remain

Filling, if you will, damaged space

Where bits of myself once reined

Which then explains this emptiness

I feel in my being in each moment

Where once there was none noted

Teaching me, that- just perhaps

We’d fared better had there been

No love shared between our hearts

That’s made the both of us… lessor

Betwixt

It’s like a draught of some odd type

Here I am, still trying, trying to swim

In puddles of shallow waters, I’ve left

Getting nowhere fast, in thick muck

Those bitter waters are draining away

Leaving me a wreck in all my todays

And all of my fresh hopes I still have

Are draining away too, into their last

Did I miss my course along the way?

Or was a curse exactly where I headed

Steering blind into a charted storms eye

Believing I ‘ve founded my own island

I never really wanted to be a lost Pirate

Just a pilot for my hearts… lasting heaven

Paradoxically

Baby we really, really tried

Tried to hide lies in our eyes

We were both feeling inside

But our hearts were too wise

And saw through the disguise

We came to realize, it was time

Time to go our separate ways

Like seasons people can changed

Now each day I feel a little colder

Spring became a long shadow winter

How I miss more the flowery scents

You wore daily on your bare skin

I can’t help but wonder- secretly

If you’re happier now… without me?

Acuteness

New Mexico dust storm drives a tumbleweed

The wind seemed to change today

I abhor when that happens

“Out of the blue” unexpectedly

Everything feels out of sync

The light, the sound and- me

Like a fog that fell from the clouds

And then surrounds life itself

Until it settles and normalizes

Some fear its time catching up

Naw- that’s a flawed construct

Some things are simply lost forever

“Love, time” surely are two of them

No- it’s a sense of real strangeness

And that event may well be … us

Marginalized

Letting go is worth the fall

It was not ever my loneliness

That plagued my life so much

It was the falsehoods I was fed

Often it felt like I was falling

In a perpetual emotional fall

Grasping for one honest chance

To be heard, to be felt and seen

To be understood and believed

As nothing more but all- I am

The reason it felt like such a void

Is because, it was that one place

Inside myself that was left out

I found me, hidden behind… doubt

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