Misconstrued

Thought I learned to express myself

And outgrow all my inner doubts

I thought time healed our wounds

I thought I knew what lost meant

And that sick bitter taste of regrets

Lingering after their guilt had left    

Haven’t felt this kind of emptiness  

Haven’t felt this kind of darken low

Haven’t ever felt this kind of pain

Haven’t felt this way since my youth  

Always thought I could rise back up  

Despite how broken inside I’d become

Thought I realized what haunting was

But I can tell you…I’m beginning to

.

Poet of the Light © 2022

Advertisement

Crestfallen

I’ve spent my full lifetime

Trying to express what’s inside me

You dismiss me like I’m worth nothing

But can you tell me where you were  

During the times of my darkest hours

When I was alone broken and hiding

Misunderstood, deep inside myself

From dark people like you’ve become

Pray tell, who would’ve thought

That the people I loved the most

Would become my darkest storms

How could I scar those I deeply love

And still lived with what I’d done

I’d rather live inside…my silence   

.

Poet of the Light © 2022

Photo by Ben Mack on Pexels.com

Senior-ship

Banishment is a nefarious act

A well-thought-out prior action

Punishment for not capitulating

To expected whims of narcissist

Those who feel entitled to wield

Some false sagacity of superiority

Revenue of biased rationalization

Often fed by inner desire for revenge

Over a moral wrong done to them

Their victims are often not offenders

Who do not tolerate any trespassing

Most often, a pre-convicted person

That held a duty or legal obligation

Foiling earlier narcissist…trespasses

.

Poet of the Light © 2022

Inter-agent

Akin being born with an extra shadow

That instead dwells on the inside

Where I do battles for what’s right

Accordance and mood of my mind

And blurred mirror images of myself

With most of those times at a cost

Plus, emotional scars on my heart

So often- I’ve fallen on my sword

Protecting all those, I deeply love

Those with a disdain for who I am

My perfection isn’t perfect enough

So, they dress me down in my shame

And I reside out on the fringes of life

Far from view of their… darken eyes

.

Poet of the Light © 2022

Ironic

Photo by Jeswin Thomas on Pexels.com

Little will you ever know

I stopped letting you know

That I hurt deep inside myself

Until I got tired as hell

Of your words making me worse

Instead of helping me heal

You were the reasons at first

And now you’re the reason at last

Making me- take myself back

One broken piece at a time       

One day I’ll be finer than I am now   

And you’ll be the reason how

I finally learned to let you go         

Inside my last bitter tear…alone

.

Poet of the Light © 2022

Broad strokes

The morning is cold and gray   

Feels like winter is on its way  

Spring and summer are memories  

And there’s a hollowness inside 

Echoing back things about my life 

I’m missing chances I let slip away  

These echoes are reminding me  

Not to waste another fragile day  

Yet I still don’t know what to do 

But chase after rainbows I can’t see  

Slaying windmills found in my way  

Looking for where I truly belong  

Scarred, tired, and barely hanging on  

I’m a man you’d have to love… blindly  

.

Poet of the Light © 2022  

Contrasing

Photo by Jeswin Thomas on Pexels.com

Chiefly I evade the public sphere  

Where everyone else is a politician 

And grandiose is the dish of the day 

Practicing their protracted reality  

Yet I afford myself a tiny window 

To peek out and secretly whisper  

Purge ideas, emotions, and dreams 

Like a child might from a bedroom  

Feeling safer from feeling out of place  

It is most peculiar- feeling the warmth  

Radiate from your body, yet lacking  

That warmth from someone you admire  

If only people, we love wholeheartedly  

Were forced to be warm… and giving

Poet of the Light © 2022  

Junk drawer

Photo by Erik Mclean on Pexels.com

The universe is indicative  

Over time things gather 

Whether naturally or not 

Like dust or unsettledness 

Like blame or projections 

Like injury and suffering   

Associated by coincidence 

Or totally disassociated 

People have bestowed me  

My share like a repository  

A collection of their scars  

Left by their polemic hearts 

Like some universe magnet  

For things I don’t…desire  

.   

Poet of the Light © 2022  

Not guilty

I used to argue with my other self 

That self that never believed in me 

Always interfering in everything  

Making my life completely chaotic   

And always dragging me down 

But that self is no longer around 

Now- I’m not saying it was murder 

But I’d call it more like self-defense 

It’s not my fault, I wasn’t myself  

That self was just making me crazy   

I went back to check out the scene  

When I got there, there was no body 

Besides no evidence of any crime   

I’d just claim…temporary insanity  

.

Poet of the Light © 2022  

Leitmotif

There are those that we will love 

From our unrestrained nature  

Who seem obtuse to love’s value  

Whether it is by choice or makeup  

And these loved ones may hurt us 

In multiple fashions of rejections 

Some will pay love no mind at all 

As if it is merely just another day    

Others notice but remain quite  

Intending to evade any mention  

Either way, we feel it down deep 

And it remains until we move on  

If- our love is not unconditional  

Then who is really hurting… Who?  

.

Poet of the Light © 2022