Battle tempered

Like a shadow of who I once was

I’ll walk along my empty shores

In the twilight hours of times before

Gathering empty shells of dreams

Left in the wake of ugly betrayals

That nearly drowned me repeatedly  

I’ve stepped past the ghost of my hurt

That plagued me for too many years

Through my heart still feel the scars

That still hungers for- a love unfound      

Where I can practice all, I’ve learned    

To feel the warmth of love in my arms

While I’m clutched in her guiding hands

Teaching me to trust love… once again

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Poet of the Light © 2022

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Disintegrated

My mind does try to understand

All things my emotions just can’t

Like why my heart wants to forgive

But still feels too broken down yet

It favors I surrender and let you go

With all this pain you’ve called love

My soul believes were heading for

A crash much worse than all this

Heartaches aren’t worth the trouble

Let’s stop pretending their normal

I’m so far from everything I’ve wanted

And sometimes I may feel I deserve it

Broken hearts cling to a glimmer of hope

One day someone will love us…anyway

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Poet of the Light © 2022

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Crestfallen

I’ve spent my full lifetime

Trying to express what’s inside me

You dismiss me like I’m worth nothing

But can you tell me where you were  

During the times of my darkest hours

When I was alone broken and hiding

Misunderstood, deep inside myself

From dark people like you’ve become

Pray tell, who would’ve thought

That the people I loved the most

Would become my darkest storms

How could I scar those I deeply love

And still lived with what I’d done

I’d rather live inside…my silence   

.

Poet of the Light © 2022

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Sentimentalized

I used to secretly daydream

About our lives in a big castle

Landscape surrounded with clouds

Dense enough to walk upon, like carpet  

As if tucked into a corner of heaven

Between the rising sun and setting moon  

Where our heartfelt wishes came true

By mere breath of a whispering lips     

As we strolled ever gently hand in hand

Careless and worry free of hazards    

Somehow, I believed it all truly possible

Clearly with my open idealistic heart    

Before you broke it and the sky fell

Some days I still feel the hellish… fallout  

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Poet of the Light © 2022

Salvaging

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Everyday a little more darkness

Slowly oozes away in pure silence

And I become a bit more resistant

To residual pain of your memories

Yet, I haven’t stopped all the tears

Every now and then my numbness

Feels a bit more of the new warmth

Each new day spills into my scars

I’ve gotten past the blame I placed

Upon myself for you being this way   

And I affirmed it wasn’t my love

That spoiled your dark bitter heart       

Someone else did that long before me

Just as you did mine… before leaving

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Poet of the Light © 2022

Unfolding realities

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Narcissists are naturally cunning  

Even factoring in being forgiven 

Into the fabric of nefarious plans 

And before enacting their deeds  

Upon those, they will victimize  

We should oblige them- just once 

Proving to ourselves that we can  

But void of any remorseful actions 

We must avoid becoming complicit  

By letting them convict themselves  

Next time they trespass boundaries   

As they utter forgiveness platitudes  

We end all our further interactions 

Because narcissists…evade change  

Poet of the Light © 2022  

Careless flickers

My love was like some fervor 

Something inside me took over  

But I didn’t care, and I let go 

When I fell in love with you 

It was all fun at first  

It was the best I ever had 

It was a fire that loved to hurt  

It was quickly burning me alive  

Romance has a way of dying  

Like a slow-burning ember  

Sometimes it takes days to subside  

But others may smolder forever  

Now I’m the tainted smoke  

That drifts in the wind… alone   

. 

Poet of the Light © 2022  

Artificial

You gave up on me long ago 

But I just didn’t know  

Not until this broken moment  

Still tearing apart my heart  

What was the sense, in pretending?  

I think that what makes it 

So much worse to feel right now 

Broken words to broken vows  

Nothing meant anything- to you 

Making me nothing- more too    

Somehow, I thought I knew you  

While you only knew me as a fool  

You played with like a childish toy 

Heartlessly broken… and tossed aside  

Poet of the Light © 2022 

Junk drawer

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The universe is indicative  

Over time things gather 

Whether naturally or not 

Like dust or unsettledness 

Like blame or projections 

Like injury and suffering   

Associated by coincidence 

Or totally disassociated 

People have bestowed me  

My share like a repository  

A collection of their scars  

Left by their polemic hearts 

Like some universe magnet  

For things I don’t…desire  

.   

Poet of the Light © 2022  

Polar

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It’s like sleeping all day and night 

When you wake you don’t know 

If night is hanging or if it’s twilight   

But something is right about 

Something being all wrong 

And you just can’t put my finger on 

What is or isn’t really going on    

Deep down you’ve gone wild 

I still believed we had half a chance 

But deep down inside myself  

I don’t know why you’ve changed  

Or say the cruel things- you do  

You linger deep inside my mind 

But you keep breaking… my heart 

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Poet of the Light © 2022