Unbeknown

A single set of footprints

Blemish a dawns virginal snowfall

Right up to, where I sit alone

On an old frozen park bench

My front row, unadulterated view

Send chills like whispers, up my spine

Suddenly- You- catch my breath

You run through so childishly

A field, of tall whiskey colored grasses

Your arms out and heart pumping free

Eyes closed, uninfluenced courage

As if that wasn’t enough- to fall in love

A warm sun, kissing your silky skin

In every breath taken, love is being lived

Heavens grace, certainly so beautiful

And your leaving nothing

But your giggles as a footprint

At least here, this moment, silently

In the imaginary vivid scene

Playing out, in my mind

Loves life of a yesterday

When I’m gone from my reality

Where I walk around, dazzlingly

Wearing the face of foolish regret

As if it were an appropriate mask

Over mistakes- I never made

Lord knows, that’s what happens

When there are no reasons, no clues

Left behind from someone you loose

Oh, we both know the unknown truth

That causes me to weep inside

And weighing ever heavily on me

I never lost you- you just left

Like a midnight rain storm

As a trusting heart slept

But I can’t, can’t- get past it

Where time and I are trapped

Between my heart and mind

On an island of perfect memories

Surrounded by a minefield of glaciers

Needing answers, I’ll never get

To all those heartbroken questions

Why couldn’t you stay and love me

As you did- perfectly…in our yesterdays?

Whenever

I remember when

You first stole me, as a friend

I remember when

You stole my full attention

I remember when

You let me steal the first taste of your lips

I remember when

You stole the sun, with your eyes

I remember when

You stole the whispers, of the wind

I remember when

Your touch first moved, my soul

I remember when

You stole, this trusting heart of mine

And I remember when

You left all you stole, broken and behind

The way whitecaps break

The way echoes can haunt

The way lightning strikes

The way whirlwinds turn

The way a sunburn kisses

The way the stars, alight

The way your love- hurts

No matter whenever, I’ll always…remember

Wakes of whispers

I pensively look around me

Realizing, this is my destiny

But not where, I ought to be

How did I get so tossed- aside?

I try to look up to the sky

As if answers, would fall on cue

Far too bright- for me to see

I remain here even more confused

And yet, that river flows- on

To places I’ve never gone

And comes from, where I’d been

Maybe- we’ll meet up at the end

She was all my sunshine and rain

Never thought I’d be the current…she’d change

Anymore

I know I did my best

Until the best of me left- long ago

Oh baby- it ain’t hate speaking

I’m just honestly saying

I’m too tired to even leave

Don’t look surprised, we both know

Every word I say is our unspoken truth

Why don’t you just go- be free

And save yourself from even me

Please, don’t let me hold you back

I promise to turn away- uneasily

Your embraces secretly, tore me apart

As you wore someone else’s scent

I’ve had enough of your kind of love

I just can’t bare to carry it- anymore

Not on these depressed shoulders

All my strength sapped away

Like those dreams of yesterday

From living a loves, ugly mess

I see in the lines on my face

Starving in all this lost time

For so much as just a loving hug

That didn’t feel cold and distant

Whenever your cruel words- didn’t

Or the looks and undertones

Cause my eyes to break into water

That I hid in withdrawn silence

And shattered reality of my mind

Someplace far too familiar

That I never wanted to know

An island, far from what we were

Far from where you’ve taken my heart

And I learned what they mean by

Loving some enough to- “let go”

Of burnt bridges and pieces of love

That no longer depict a pretty picture

After it’s frame fell from its cherished wall

Cause we don’t represent that…anymore

River run

Nowhere to go but where I’m laid

As if it was always meant this way

And I’ve only just woke to my fate

Standing on a bank I’ll never own

Dwelling on things never coming

Just to keep from thinking of you

If only- I could walk across

The mirror of my sky, I’d find

A place in the raw deep darkness

Where I could sit and cry- alone

It would sound like thunder

That no one else could hear

And I’d know- nothing but blue

Oh- I’m lost in your leftover love

And dreams we’ll never see

After you up and went away- silently

Not so much as a note or a fight

That might help to explain

What you’re thinking in- your mind

All your promises fell like rain drops

Covering my face with hurt and pain

With the likes of I’ve never experienced

As cold air currents rush over me

I feel like a river destined to be

Darkened, long, winding and…endless

La malédiction

I can’t get out or stay out- alone

Outside light leaks through crevasses

Creating a heavy sense of murkiness

Each drop within my cave, echoes

As if they alone mark passing time

My memories of her are resilient

Not even time ablates their faces

And their dark shadowy followers

Are my beset, and broken emotions

That wants to trust and love again

But like a ghost left blindly abandoned

Only to be coaxed to remain within

This is the torrents of a love- that lost

A chasm, where once a heart lived

This place of which there is no escape

Until my fiery heart is renewed…or quits

Timeless

Only half-of me, dared to watch

As you too quickly walked

While I stumbled for words

You disappeared, into fading echoes

In my heart I- followed you, immediately

But my mind always knew

The unmistakable bitter truth

And I- lived in it’s silence

Unloved by- the one, I couldn’t keep

And when the sun reined

I never felt anything, new

Living in the shadows- of wanting to

Starting over will never exist

For those who’ve kept…their hearts wish

C’était

Those midnight hours

Have fallen fast asleep

Leaving me and the moon, alone

And she never talks but listens

As we fall through time

Much the way, we used to do

As your fingertips chased conjured images

Up and down the surface of my skin

Our entangled bodies sharing the same breaths

As your eyes gazed into the depths

Of my souls open windows

Oh how could I’ve known- or thought

You were anything less, than an angel

That up and left with a new dawn

I still haven’t seen yet

All of me, lost all of you

To say I’ve been damaged

Would be most misleading

Tattered and bruised

Feels like its been eons

This is my old new image

But truth is- I’m still breaking

Though the pain is lessened

Maybe because, I’m growing numb

Bit by bit where my heart once sat

Beholding thoughts and memories

And I only live light, in darkness

Within the silence of a bitter truth

Of our love…that once was

Guilty

It almost seemed unworldly

I seen you from afar, today

You were luncheon and laughing

And he was loving the moments

Absorbing your every breath

And gleam of your grins

The sunlight danced off your eyes

They way they used to, in mine

Then I saw you suddenly give pause

And slowly looked my way

I could feel your laughter in my heart

Just as I felt your ghostly hand, chill me

And with tears in my blue eyes

I couldn’t tell if you saw me

All I could do is gasp, and tremble

Deep down to my soul

I could bare to watch you walk away, again

To say I still love you

Would be putting it mildly

I know I’m never going to be perfect

But when it comes to loving you

I must admit fully…I’m guilty

Double blind

I don’t know at all

If you can hear me

Where you are

Or what you’re doing

But something inside

Just needs to try- and say

After all this time

I thought I’d tell you, silently

I haven’t been found, yet

Maybe no one is looking?

Maybe I don’t offer enough?

Or maybe yesterdays are interfering?

I really don’t know

Lord knows, how I’ve tried

To fill the gaps, find a life

To find some answers

To all my broken questions

To things I’ll never understand

Like how; something like love

Has to end, so cold and crude

Now its gone and I’m consumed

By everything that was us…and you

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