Contresens

I never could read the hidden signs

Predicated on wishful illusions

They became circles and lines

Written in the wrong languages

But I know where I’ve been

And I’ve been down this path before

Far too many times for counting

Walking in wet muddy boots

In another unwanted midnight rain

With teardrop stains on my heart

By now you’d think I could do this blind

Why does the past drag me back here?

Make me wander aimlessly around?

Haven’t I suffered enough…by now?

Photo by u041du0418u041au0418u0422u0410 u041a. on Pexels.com

Found

I’ve swam in course guilty rivers

Not because it was ever deserved

Love risk suffering for loved ones

Or beaten against cynical boulders

That refused me any sort of refuge

And I swallowed the bitter bubbles

Of caustic and manipulative ploys

As you marginalized my held hope

One day you’d feel my love’s value

But my worth got lost to teardrops

That fell into the cold truth currents

As you stood deaf and about faced

My fear imagined the darker finale

Until my love saved me… from you

Changing landscapes

In a micro-moment everything changes

What was found is now disappearing

Everything you’ve trusted is broken

Maelstrom of thoughts and emotions

Come and go like the sun and moon

Chasing one another for protection

There’s no time for any time-outs

You’re either all in or all tapped out

Like a battle zone on your battered heart

Nowhere left to run or go- but down

And too faithful to flee to save yourself

On foggy fields of dreams created by hope

All you want now is silence and a home

All you’re living now…is chaos alone

Battle tempered

Like a shadow of who I once was

I’ll walk along my empty shores

In the twilight hours of times before

Gathering empty shells of dreams

Left in the wake of ugly betrayals

That nearly drowned me repeatedly

I’ve stepped past the ghost of my hurt

That plagued me for too many years

Through my heart still feel the scars

That still hungers for- a love unfound

Where I can practice all, I’ve learned

To feel the warmth of love in my arms

While I’m clutched in her guiding hands

Teaching me to trust love… once again

Photo by Samuel Silitonga on Pexels.com

Disintegrated

My mind does try to understand

All things my emotions just can’t

Like why my heart wants to forgive

But still feels too broken down yet

It favors I surrender and let you go

With all this pain you’ve called love

My soul believes were heading for

A crash much worse than all this

Heartaches aren’t worth the trouble

Let’s stop pretending their normal

I’m so far from everything I’ve wanted

And sometimes I may feel I deserve it

Broken hearts cling to a glimmer of hope

One day someone will love us…anyway

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Crestfallen

I’ve spent my full lifetime

Trying to express what’s inside me

You dismiss me like I’m worth nothing

But can you tell me where you were

During the times of my darkest hours

When I was alone broken and hiding

Misunderstood, deep inside myself

From dark people like you’ve become

Pray tell, who would’ve thought

That the people I loved the most

Would become my darkest storms

How could I scar those I deeply love

And still lived with what I’d done

I’d rather live inside…my silence

Photo by Ben Mack on Pexels.com

Sentimentalized

I used to secretly daydream

About our lives in a big castle

Landscape surrounded with clouds

Dense enough to walk upon, like carpet

As if tucked into a corner of heaven

Between the rising sun and setting moon

Where our heartfelt wishes came true

By mere breath of a whispering lips

As we strolled ever gently hand in hand

Careless and worry free of hazards

Somehow, I believed it all truly possible

Clearly with my open idealistic heart

Before you broke it and the sky fell

Some days I still feel the hellish… fallout

Salvaging

Everyday a little more darkness

Slowly oozes away in pure silence

And I become a bit more resistant

To residual pain of your memories

Yet, I haven’t stopped all the tears

Every now and then my numbness

Feels a bit more of the new warmth

Each new day spills into my scars

I’ve gotten past the blame I placed

Upon myself for you being this way

And I affirmed it wasn’t my love

That spoiled your dark bitter heart

Someone else did that long before me

Just as you did mine… before leaving

Unfolding realities

Narcissists are naturally cunning

Even factoring in being forgiven

Into the fabric of nefarious plans

And before enacting their deeds

Upon those, they will victimize

We should oblige them- just once

Proving to ourselves that we can

But void of any remorseful actions

We must avoid becoming complicit

By letting them convict themselves

Next time they trespass boundaries

As they utter forgiveness platitudes

We end all our further interactions

Because narcissists…evade change

Careless flickers

My love was like some fervor

Something inside me took over

But I didn’t care, and I let go

When I fell in love with you

It was all fun at first

It was the best I ever had

It was a fire that loved to hurt

It was quickly burning me alive

Romance has a way of dying

Like a slow-burning ember

Sometimes it takes days to subside

But others may smolder forever

Now I’m the tainted smoke

That drifts in the wind… alone

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: