Ambivalence

(shakes head) Just when

I thought I had said it all

I took a welcomed deep breath

The days and nights lingered

And you came back to mind

I don’t know why, now I’ve discovered

I’ve only begun to speak openly

Knowing I’m still broken

And I still hurt, just not as bad

But I’m finding my way alone

To whom I was, who I need to be

Baby steps over these deep cracks

I need desperately this path of patience

So, I can clarify any last…ambiguities

Outliers

The fashion of your alluring legs

Wading within moon lit shallows

As tinged beams of luminous reflect

Off submissiveness of warm ripples

The way our morning after sunlight

Basked in the beauty of your presence

Making its way over sleepy chasms

As I sit in awe of heavens creations

That adorable manner we hold hands

While we gaze at wonderment of stars

As if they’re all chapters of our story

Whilst unabashedly delaying any finality

I waltz on the cusp of pure immortality

Whenever I’m embraced … in your arms

Sacred Petals

She was named after a flower

That grew even in harsh winters

Solidifying her magical essence

Cloaked in a tender silky surface

Touting bold irises of ocean blues

I willingly befell to her from afar

It was something she never knew

Love beats whispered from my heart

But I was too timid to risk rejection

Desires wanted to pluck as my own

But I knew she deserved much better

Then I honestly felt I could deliver

Loving her enough to truly let her go

I set out across the vast horizons

Leaving my bleeding heart- there

Within the soils that nurtured her

Closest fashion my love could live

Forever in …the Rose left behind

#Wednesday 4 word prompt-

The rose left behind

Exhale

When I fell in love with you

I threw- caution to the wind

I’m afraid it has come to collect

This idealistic lover’s old debt

I’m not sure which is the worse

To seem selfish and go first

Or follow a heartbroken embrace

Lingering behind in pain- as last

I feel anger and sudden desperation

Come upon me in merciless waves

As if I were pulled in a caustic ocean

I want to let go, and hold on to today

The sweet taste of death is a surprise

As tears flow now from my eyes

It is time laced by all the drops

As I kiss my greatest love … (narrator softly exhales)

Inspired by Caruso

Used to

I used to love the moon at night 
Now it just some overt reminder 
There are other stars in the sky 

I used to wade into the waters 
Before water drowned me in tears 
Now I just watch it all from afar 

I’ve become estranged to believing 
At least the kind I used to trust in
Wordless, truth spoke in the eyes 

I used to love all beautiful things
Old, broken or misused by others 
Long before my whole life changed 

I used to be honest down to my bones 
But now- I can’t tell if I’ll love a lie 
That smiles and whispers: I’m alone 

I used to respect and know myself 
Before getting used to … loving hell 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021

China shop

Photo by Toa Heftiba u015einca on Pexels.com

The sun rose up eerie that day 
Clouds seem to be at a stand still 
I really didn’t care much as all 
Smiling to wholeness of my world
As every color brought me more joy 
With remnants of those moon kisses 
Still wet and fresh upon my lips  
Then sadly- I noticed, your absence 
By then all the clouds disappeared 
Somehow, I stood there- in the rain
Felt the heat burn me in place 
My heart and mind going senseless
My lips suddenly cracked and dried 
Everything: a new shade of grey 
Even unspoken whispers couldn’t fly 
In your wake all you left behind 
Was for me to innocently sigh 
Wallow in hollowed memories
Kneel in an overwhelming disbelief
Even my inhales were half shattered  
I was just another- broken piece
Of the world your horns have ravaged  
All I am, is your… collateral damage 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021

Pivotal

It starts like magic so innocently 
Resistance begets that new friction  
A whiff, a look- maybe simply nothing 
Like a flame growing out of control 
Everything about you is right here 
I’m bewitched- but I just do not care 
Once I see your eyes I am hypnotized 
The touch of your fingers, caressing
Sending fiery chills all throughout me 
Weight of your body covering mine 
Sweet dampness of your lips pressing  
And I’m falling in an imaginary truth
So much for calling this a peaceful truce  
I degust your kisses; so intoxicating
Then I am lost to you from everything  
I feel you pulsing trough my veins 
Like a drug- making me feel insane 
I can’t hold on, and I can’t let go
Am I coming here or am I going there?
I don’t know- what is wrong or right
The sun suddenly blacks out just in time 
Can’t seem to reboot my …muscle memories   

.
Poet of the Light © 2021

Barrowed

 

Oblivious to nature of the galaxy 
How it toils on without permission
However, we do notice of its presents 
When that infamous tolled bell rings 
If- I hear echoes of the bell tolled 
I know, twas not for I- not this time 
Yet- and none the less I am lessened 
Of whom it tolled in reconciliation
To notably lose an unmet friend 
In a most eerie but secretive silence 
That often can have a chilling effect
I should relax; loosen my tense cringe 
Recollect my lost train of thought, as if
Nothing at all happened… when it did  

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 

Re: Ernest Hemmingway
For whom the bell tolls~

Overcome

Setting aside all our childishness 
And those hurt emotions, still left 
Inside raw scars buried in my chest 
From a devastating chaotic erosion 
Of our once shared euphoric heaven 
Protected by some imaginary bubble 
Oh! I have come to realize these days 
That wear on in much different ways 
There is no real guilt to share or wear
No blanketed blame for either to carry 
Such is the nature of adventures taken 
No misleading star we blindly followed 
That stole us away from our own reality 
No winds came to blow us off course 
Albeit we drowned in what was current 
What we shared was beautiful, at first
And far beyond our ability to maintain
We were but simple pyre to that flame 
We got caught in the wild and rampant  
Until we fell into an invisible crevasse  
A fault line- that laid obscure somewhere 
Between where we started, and ended 
A landscape we learned was not… love 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021

Flesh and bone

August charred anything breathing 
Especially if you went out after dawn 
Everyone thought I was just reading  
Biding my time but silently dreaming
Of love dipping in midnight passions
Dehydration plays with imaginations  
I used to wait mostly by the window 
Watching that amberoid ball lumber  
Around suppertime she’d be glancing
Between those ivory sheer curtains  
An hour later she’d go out for a walk 
I be out there- conveniently waiting
Summer sweat dripping of my body  
She’d smile and wink; I followed along 
Down a dirt road to the fishing pond 
Summer heat needs some cooling off 
But man! I was just warming up 
No one noticed we were missing 
Their laughter’s echoes in the breeze 
But I sure wasn’t missing anything 
Her pale skin glowed in moonlight 
I was convinced she was all goddess
A pair of bare silhouettes splashing
Churning up more than shallow waters
More than a simple boy could handle   
Her hair danced in the setting sun 
Amber tinted black just like molasses
She could have colored me blind 
I tell you, I wouldn’t have minded
My soul was flirting with danger 
Nearing midnight, she lit us on fire
Time after time I nearly lost conscious 
I was willingly caught in her clutch 
Only the good Lord could have saved me 
But thankfully, he was just far too busy 
My whole childhood; coming undone 
She took me to insanity … and then some 

Poet of the Light © 2021

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