Acclimating

If only hindsight was more forwardly

Some repetitions, I’ve long tired of

I know it seem cynical by nature

But mainly when it comes to to love

When the relationships grows sour

And they- become bullish cyclopes

Inside my tender hearts china shop

Akin intimate time, pictures memorialized

Our shared memorabilia ends up, broken

And I alone, am left to clean up my pieces

Of my trust, life, dreams and of myself

Remodeling all the unnecessary damage

Changing me, my outlook, circumspection

Just like my last, premature- ever after

Strange how they break it, then blame us

You would’ve thought, people so close

Would be more understanding, in letting go

That the care would’ve easily extended

A kinder, more protective parting of ways

Instead of some prideful Pyrrhic victory

By a lover who’s unveiled as… a stranger

Poet of the Light © 2020

Didactically

Beneath an unseasonal red moon

I lazed- being half consumed

As I gazed, up at delusional stars

.

My mind expanded galactically

As all my sensations sensing

Micro-explosions kept burning

.

My body felt tenderly from itself

As hers reveled nothing left to hide

Kissing like starving pariah to flesh

.

Her lipstick must’ve been laced

My heart quickened and raced

With drops of sweat from my body

.

Oh- smooth, wet and fully plump

Like a rare ripe Georgia peach

And sweet nectar of disbelief

.

I generously tasted without haste

As if I were wildly possessed

Despite the risk of being cursed

.

My soul being the currency of cost

As I slipped from heavens threshold

Plunging knee deep pass peachy skin

.

Air itself became an aphrodisiac

The greater I breathed in and out

The greater my craving became

.

Animalistic zeal took fistfuls hold

Barehanded like an untamed mare

As I mounted myself on and rode

She neighed in languages unknown

But I ignored any sort of answer

Until we fell naked from exhaustion

.

There on a blanket stowed in her car

For “in case of an emergency” stash

Or a life changing event of perchance

.

We panted like two horses after a chase

Energy sapped as a lesson was etched

Into my mind and every sensing muscle

.

Six years minor to her keen seniority

Earnestly tutored my full graduation

How lust can sin…so climatically

.

Poet of the Light © 2020

Tryst of minds

Alias places and ancient times

Campfires and blanket talks

Paper cups and Autumn skies

Empty bottles of store bought wine

Whiffs of slow burning apple wood

Waves caressing a sandy surface

Long walks along the beach

Footprint trails washed away

Beneath a pale moons canvass

Smiling glances tightened hands

Laughter skipping on rippled tides

Skinning dipping foreplay at midnight

Memories molded between the folds

Of lovers arms and naked souls

Exerted lust and moans collide

Between moist kisses and sighs

Before all love is lost to…departing echoes

.

Poet of the Light © 2020

After letters Nov. 2nd

I’ve nearly gotten past the foolish feelings that come whenever I sit to write to you. I know most other people would call me strange but they thought that about me anyways. Oddly it reminds me of when I wanted to approach you in real person. Clearly I was out of my depth, my class with you but somehow you provided me the courage to see us through. Thank you and God again for that. Its not that you were hard to speak with or inattentive, for me, in fact you’re just that beautiful and intelligent, and for oddballs like myself, that can seem unsettling, a touch intimidating. I always felt you read me faster than I could ever explain myself in words or concept. If we have angels on earth amongst us, surely you are one of them. There simply is no other way to explain you, being you.

Winter seems to have come early this year. Fall appears to have taken an over-stayed vacation of summer, somewhere else. Days reached over a hundred that past few weeks but now they’re lucky to reach fifty. Predawn definitely seems colder now here on this side of the mountains or I’m just noting your absence next to me more often these days. There’s also more than enough coffee each morning for me; trouble is, I don’t seem to be looking for that third or fourth cup anymore like when we sat and just chatted half of the morning away talking about nonsensical things. But there are times when I’m walking or riding through the chasms early that I’m brought to a stand still. I swear I can her your whispers talking to me as those swirling southeasterly breezes chased up the slopes to the summits where Eagle nest. Maybe its just past conversations we had still echoing, as we walked hand in hand meandering through tall golden grasses of the meadows in the late afternoons before returning here for some of your fresh peach pie? Oh God, how I so miss your cooking everyday.

I know I’ve gotten a little lax on repairs around here as of late. Don’t worry my beloved, I’ll get my chores done before the snow covers the mountain tops. And yes I know I didn’t plant any pickles this year, you know I was never found of them that much and I only planted for you. Your flower beds bloom right on time and thrive in the sunlight as if they were sunbathing naked on exotic ocean banks. And yes, I’m still upset with the power that be, that unfairly took you away from me. I know its selfish of me, and I may never be forgiven over it, but I am human and this void of you in my heart- was never going to be refillable. I’m sure if our roles were reversed, you’d been stronger, and certainly more forgivable.

I can see the moon in the pale blue distance slowly approaching here. It reminds me of when we sat on the front porch rocking and watching it silently make its way to our door after desert each night. I’ll close for now dear so I can go rock a bit before bedtime. I’m certain today, if you never understood how deeply I loved you before you left, you most certainly do now. Hell- on second thought, who am I kidding, you must have known all along like everything else.

Until next, I write from my heart…to you.

Poet of the Light © 2020

Passing

Why must it take so silently long,

for our long shadows to escape?

I’m growing tired of pretending

About the ghostly presence felt

Here in my arms, in my empty bed

No one understands my words

They act understanding at first

Where, where, can I- find peace

That replaces all she once gave me

How can I go, without any regrets

And shed- all the love she tainted

Who would want me now, broken?

Vulnerable to my inner needs

I’m just a child left in the dark

I’m just a man with a broken heart

Pretending that it no longer hurts

Pretending, I’m not pretending anymore

Love is a most wicked…mistress

Poet of the Light © 2020

Bits and pieces

It randomly happened again today

I must admit, its been some time

Since last I thought of you- or us

If I was abetting man, which I’m not

I’d say, it’s been six months or so

In part I was relieved, but also- no

Its hard to understand that, somewhat

I still love you, but just not as much

Like a memento kept stored away

For no apparent rhyme or reason

It comes out now and then, seasonally

Its placement get smaller over time

I’m unsure why, perhaps time knows?

Strange, it and the world has changed

So drastically or at least my perception

Seems rather queer, to love someone

Someone who meant so much- thence

Fact is, its me, I’m quite certain of this

Truth be told- I still love- everyone

That I’ve ever loved, in some degree

I relish I’m this way but not braggadocios

I still share those memories, lost dreams

Even if they’ve all but nearly diminished

To nothing but a spontaneous thought

Maybe its the numbness you left behind

That void of what was us- I’m unsure

Some do think its unresolved matters

Lingering around, longing some answers

Like an unwanted ghost, to haunt a heart

But I think not- but maybe just fragments

That help guide us from the same mistakes;

Maybe to help solidify our own existence

Evidence- that we dared to love, honestly

Or at least I did, or so I think I have tried

Perhaps today’s event was just, to vent

Put feelings and thoughts into expression

Help make that space for mementos like you

Be smaller, slowly fade into absentmindedness

Maybe that’s what dementia is really all about

For hardcore lovers loving from the core of self?

Decompressing of love lost, tattered memories

Be rid of battered and bruised human scars

So when I leave this world- I can really leave

You, painful failures, and voids… truly behind

Poet of the Light © 2020

Changed number

Three states, nine hundred miles apart

Been so long since we’d last talked

To be honest, I was a bit in shock

I can’t remember how many years

Or even the season or why you called

You just blurted out so nonchalantly

You’d just opened chilled Mogen David

Then you started dialing my number

As if you still knew me, after all this time

Maybe you never expected me to answer;

Like so many of those evaded questions?

I told you I still think of you all the time

Akin: I’m out trekking some mountainside

Chasing an invisible connection for my soul

And you followed- with a deep- long inhale

Just long enough to, stir up a little silence

Where I thought I heard your heart flutter

Like how your voice whispers my attention

But I was expecting, maybe a little more

I bit my lip and the suddenly you hung up

You were still able to bring hurt to my eyes

I tried to call you back but got your service

Your voice saying you’re out, “living it up”

I left a few messages, how we ought talk

But now I see all we ever accomplished

Was a craving love we left unfinished

Rode hard and put away in an odd silence

I think its time for maybe a new mountain

I’ve moved on to the factual realization

To know, is to hurt, what could’ve been…ours

Poet of the Light © 2020

Refraction

Like a star and unknown sphere

We both whirled in our worlds

Enchanting- to each others view

Drawing closer in our universe

Nature took lead of our hearts

And like children, we followed

Time continued to ticktock

As I- blindly became seduced

Within an eclipse of thoughts

Your gravitation pull; alluring

Our seductive dance, addicting

I convinced myself, it was love

And resigned, to gift all I was

But then came the darkest of times

Where I was tidally locked to you

All I was, became exhausted, dust

I barely subsisted inside lost chaos

As you- calmly overshadowed- us

I’m now another vanquished planet

You left behind while passing through

Who knew, your light was…truly dark?

Poet of the Light © 2020

Côtés

On the edge of spring’s promise

Strolling barefoot as if it were summer

Our fingers clasped, shoes around our necks

We set out like two foolish lovers

Ignoring the world, spoiled in love

Muddled footprints in cold damp sand

Leading to a pier where we quenched lust

Talking and kissing with euphony ripples

We were just a normal girl and boy at heart

Acting like we held all the answers

To questions we weren’t prepared for

Our best response was hugs and laughter

And importantly relying on one another

We whispered all our dreams

On fleeting rays of those rusty sun

Who knew, we’d stumble into

“I don’t care” for every question

Long before we went our separate ways

We should’ve held onto those sun-rays

And the one our love always counted on

Did you ever get, all you wished;

When you left me for him;

And life on the other side in greener pastures;

Before the start of my winter?

Its hard for me to know now, girl

A lifetime and realms apart

Unless you can still here my whispers

In this crispy silent suspension

Sitting here, on that same cold beach

My breath in the air, watching ice recede

Still living on the wrong side…of us

Poet of the Light © 2020