Lately I feel like a dark cloud Drifting aimlessly along I’d cry but I really feel empty As I really miss the person I had really thought you were Really just goes to show you First impressions can be wrong Going to take some adjusting In my mind and in my heart Acceptance isn’t always easy And sometimes it really hurts Long after we’ve moved on To the lie, it doesn't really matter Living a life of love is all I’m after I still believe it can really happen Maybe I’ll stumbling into one Once this pain has really… gone Poet of the Light © 2020
I’ll break free behind neon clouds When I know you’re not looking Not that you’d notice it anyhow He’s really what you’ve wanted But you ain’t getting anything Left to the dark of your own heart And you’re stranded- in between Your dreams and today’s reality I know, I’m just the fools moon You talk to when you feel alone If you feel like far away company It seems safer for you that way You really need to finally move on And stop pretending that you have You’re just a silly phase my heart Is mysteriously gotten locked onto Before every new red dawn comes And you’re back to wanting him Until I’ve become new and whole I’ll go on being… your forgotten Poet of the Light © 2020
Purpose sifted into bag of dust Midsummer twilight sprinkled With sporadic stars and clouds A watchful candle- burned out It’s been nearly two hours since I slipped off in a dreamy realm None of which I’ll recall later Sleep is becoming burdensome A luxury I can’t seem to afford I burn with an inner fervor, yet I shiver under but a thin blanket Charity of the lunar moonlight That’s found me here somehow Her scent still present but absent Only faint whispers of her voice Remain lingering within my mind There’s vacant cold beside me Reminiscent of late fall shadows As the afternoon sun is falling off It wasn’t always like this, before When the promise of her words Were spoken in a truthful silence Of her actions, her kisses, touch Now- all that is gone, she’s gone And I’m left to carry on here, alone With no compass guiding direction I- merely a heart… without an echo Poet of the Light © 2020
When first a flurry of white ashes Appeared unexpectedly, I smiled Reminiscing of our days of play Midnight bedroom pillow fights Morning making of snow-angels The first snow was vanquished By a glowing amberoid sphere Blooming out of the near horizon Warmth radiated in the ambiance As I strolled alone these streets A pale shadow followed along Keeping me company I suppose But what was most telling to me Was the loud absence… of you Poet of the Light © 2020
Today wasn’t a good day as you may have noticed. I think the only mistake was my impulse to head down into the city for a change of pace. You know how I can become over eager even if it’s the littlest of things, like a shopping trip. Shhh.. I can almost hear you laughing out loud right now. God, how I miss that laugh and silly grin, like when you knew you were right about something but left me to learn it the hard way.
Everything was going fine until, I went into the department store for a bit of browsing. You know how I like to compare things and prices before finally deciding on what I want. Come to think of it, you were the only exception to that rule in my life. I wanted you as soon as I saw you and by the grace of God, I was gifted with not only you, but your unconditional love. That in itself was a miracle to me, still is.
So- anyways, as I was strolling through the aisles I happened to pick up the very same aroma as your homemade perfume from those flowers here in your garden and some of the wilds ones you spent days selecting. I must admit, I was ecstatic and reluctant both. I mean, what were the odds someone replicated your secret blend? I gave chase and yes- I desperately wanted to believe somehow a Déjà vécumiracle happening and I’d run into you all over again. I was deeply disappointed to find the source was another woman. Still, bewildered I had to ask her where she obtained such an appealing fragrance. At first, she was hesitate. I gather because she thought maybe I was flirting with her but then she relented and informed me, it was specially made by a woman up in the mountains. When she said it was gifted to her during her visit by sheer accident of wrong directions and she stopped while you were making a fresh batch, so you offered her a bottle. I had no idea you named it “touch of souls”. She must have thought me mad when tears flowed from my eyes. I quickly explained myself to her, your loss and she truly tried hard to comfort me. We both cried in each other’s embrace. She was planning on returning your favor in the fall. I quickly excused myself and sat in your car for a better part of the day. Scarred- I would break down and start weeping while driving. I couldn’t risk hurting innocent people. I had no idea I wept for so long. I simply knew I needed to get back here, where you’re presence is still present. I’m back at home, with you again. I think I’ll turn in early. I’m sure you’ll understand.
Poet of the Light © 2020 After letters collection
Here I am, recovering At a slow pace, inside of me Between the dark shades Of foolishness and shame Far from your cutting words Out of your reach forever Oh girl, you really hurt me Down deep inside of my soul You’ll never know- just how bad Cause I’m never taking you back And these scars will remind me Sometimes, the pain wins And I hide behind the lie, I’m fine When I’m crumbling again Right there center of my heart Where your silhouette chases After my inner feelings And withdrawal of your touch, haunts The darker corners of my mind Where I let you pretend, to love me More than I did, to myself But those days are long over Its only nights I have… trouble with Poet of the Light © 2020
In depths of my own dark dearth All my hungers, my thirst- stalled I stayed unmoved and unnurtured Safely imprisoned within myself Until I heard your… whispers call Poet of the Light © 2020
It can feel the painful seat Coming here, to sit on this bench Where first you and I met Just as fall, was beginning to fall We joked with each other to hide Our secret and inner brokenness From the world of strangers Afraid of being seen, rejected As the time spilled by unnoticed We grew familiar and comfortable Like months had passed in those hours Laughter disarmed all our guards But somehow, as if magically You seen clear through me Into my raw and shattered heart You smiled, shedding a tear It was in that moment I recall I saw yours, my lips quivered I couldn’t dare utter the words How beautiful you were, to me Our regrets and fears suddenly fell Like the dried leaves from trees You stood up to embrace me, kiss At the same time I had wished it Oh- if, if I- had only known As you left, and looked back That I should’ve been braver And chased after you back then Would I still be carry that one regret Of letting love slip away so easily (sporadic snowflakes begin to fall about) In my heart, to here everyday ... since? Poet of the Light © 2020
She’s in love Her heart has been moved Now she wakes up Smiling like a blooming rose Life is finally feeling right And when she dreams at night She leaves her past behind Cause she’s in love Her loneliness has faded Along with her mistakes Her broken heart is healing And she understands everything Like what love is and ain’t Cause she’s in love Glowing like a moon Moving, like grace on Sundays And her sparkling eyes Are like diamonds on fire Only heaven could’ve made her Her warm embraces Can cure the soul's hurts Cause she’s in love With a new and true eternity And nothing can take her away Lips like a pure angel Voice like a songbird She’s everything I want Everything I dreamed She’s in love, but not… with me Poet of the Light © 2020
In my heart, I knew not to expect much I knew this journey- would be arduous By choice, by necessity, by blinding faith But being found by a pure love often is I knew each step would seem impossible Maybe until I fell into her arms- literally But still, I had to take it, I had find out After all, what was their to lose except More of the same unwanted nothingness That littered all my daily hours anyway? How would being loveless any different Than accepting every faux replacement? Many will suggest and normalize settling For nearly anything much less: sabotage The taxing road would test my integrity Even if only I- myself would really know Whether or not, I maintained my dignity I’ve fallen pray many of times in hopes Being subjected to dishonesty, repeatedly Battered emotionally, subjected to more Ridicule, temptation for the more lessor More conventional way of daily living But I’ve persevered by the grace of God Most times within my own set confusion To have nothing to offer but love- itself Would take great deal of courage of trust I must admit, what real journey compares? Can you image the woman who does dare? It's not for the faint of heart, that for sure But, being found by a prayer is… priceless Poet of the Light © 2020