Phantomized

I was born into lost

Where my heart wandered

For most of my empty life

Battered, bruised, and torn

After daring to love others

Who’ve misuse everyone or things

I retreated deep inside myself

That only place it learned to feel safe

Like the sun and moon

That travers’s space and time

Like a kept promise being delivered

You took a few of your moments

To listen to my words

And move me with your answers

Ignoring my brokenness and hurt

Somehow it really seemed

An unbelievable kind of feeling

You reached beneath my scars

Unlike anyone has ever before

And I finally started to believe

The way you were treating me

With a lifetime missing love

But all it was… was fool’s dream

Double edges

Love can seem burdensome

But only fear sees it that way

Love itself is everlasting and freeing

Our insecurities make it feel unreal

By way of our flawed expectations

And or damaged cynical teachers

Taught to us throughout our past

Our acceptance of something lesser

Is often a safe play to avoid loneliness

Only to feel imprisoned inside ourselves

The thing about conventual wisdom

Is sooner or later, it quickly expires

The only I’ve thing I found consistent

Is unconditional love… if we gift it

Leftover courses

Photo by Kammeran Gonzalez-Keola on Pexels.com

Yesterday’s love lays on the horizon

As a kind of beautiful, only found

In a once in a lifetime kind of love

My heart skipped over the ocean

Until a wave rose up- to drown it

Mirages feel real until you get there

No sky, no floor, space of emptiness

Akin as if some black magic took over

I passed by Alice and some others

By some unearned grace, I emerged

My heart washed up on foreign shores

Feeling like an empty shell discarded

Black magic always brings you pain

Allure of darkness makes us… insane

Eclipsion

The winds changed

Unexpectedly

Thunder rips through the quiet

Clouds huddle and frightened

It wants to rain

But the drops won’t fall

Almost, but not at all

I’m broken

But I already know that

I write you letters

But no place to send them

I’m hoping

You’ll truly understand

Why I just can’t… let go

Windswept

Like a silent winter snow

I wait every night

For the morning dawn to rise

Before I can feel safe enough to sleep

Maybe I’m waiting to find

That moment life changes everything

No notice, no reason nor rhyme

Where different becomes normal

And normal heals better than yesterday

What I’m finding may not be happy

For me at least, I feel the tillage of peace

Slowly growing itself within

And maybe that will lead to better things

Maybe even found, will finally…find me

Cherishables

Between the distance and silence

There lives a hollowness to subsist

Where fires burn from held memories

Of older days that have passed

But live forever in our hearts

Like whispers without shadows

Only our souls can interpret

I tried to spare you some pain

Even if it came, at my own expense

But I was totally oblivious

That you were doing the same

Sometimes the price of love

Comes at our greatest tax

And that’s what makes it… beautiful

Grandchild

I’m humbled to have been part

Of a new generation following their hearts

I remember when you were young

Back when you first learned to run

And became part of the changing wind

That blows through life its own way

I recall the bikes I bought you all

And seeing just one of those grins

Was worth every penny I spent

But I must also mention how they

Added to the memories in my heart

On many of my cold lonely days

They’ve always managed to keep me warm

How I wish I could run with you all now

Like a silent shadow and time does

Oh, the old days are never really gone

If you ever loved someone

From the soul of your open heart

They’ll live forever… and a day

Love Papa…

Owned

Who am I now-

With only your memories

To hold me close again

You know it hurts inside

But darling I can’t lie

I’d rather live with the pain

Then live without anything

So long as it reminds me, of you

Just the way I’m made I guess

All heart and still a mess

Just the way you found me

Blood and tears on my sleeve

And a craving that keeps me

Hypnotized to love I’ve known

Oh, your kiss stole my soul

But I don’t mind it at all, baby

Truth be told, even in silence

So long as you come in my dreams

Reminding me of all those times

We laid side by side at night

Nothing to cover us up

But our own moist whispers

And dim sighs …of moonlit kisses

Master recipe

Somewhere betwixt life and death

There is this clear pathway hidden

Where our souls do traverse blindly

As they leave those of us far behind

They also leave their love as proof

We are loved and treasured dearly

Some of us feel torn in two directions

And in our grief, we want to be with

Loved ones here as well as there too

Our heartbeats here seem to go silent

We know their echoes speak volumes

That only those who’ve crossed over

Could truly receive and appreciate

Body and soul makes…love dialectical

Intrusion

Whisper words that stir my fate

Until its sweeter than past days

Let me feel each breath on my face

So, I’ll know the touch of love again

Move me like a mountain in your way

Smooth away all my precipitous cliffs

The way water does below the surface

With its soft currents of gentleness

Make me like a song you long to hear

Let me seep deep within your soul

Like the warmth of first kisses

Long enough until it feels like home

Rescue me from even my old self

With your moist whispers of… love

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