Pearls of presence

Oftentimes a shadow of loneliness visits

It is not as ominous as it might sound

At least in this context here, for myself

We have- what I’d call deep conversations

Having come to terms with our unique roles

And not meaning to sound schizophrenic

Or someone suffering from hallucinations

But we all have a past that doesn’t let go

Nor does it forget, even if we pretend, ignorance

It seems wiser to make friends with old ghost

Then drive yourself absolutely insane

For not appreciating treasured moments alone

It is in these times I relish playing the host

On my terms, and so I can slowly … let go

Quote: John Keats

Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced.

John Keats

Philosophy of my whispers

Most discoveries are lost by glossing.

I’m not into shallowness of people

Pretension that barely manages cursory

Only informs me I hold no value to you

Unless you are in need of me, temporally

Nonetheless, I choose to be charitable

I’m into tangible substance and honesty

Something I can relate to, fully embrace

Grasp as consistent as the sun and moon

Explore deeply into the unknown fathoms

Dependability and understandment

Sharing of a moment of breathless dawn

Unabashedly faithful; heart on your sleeve

The full breadth of a person as a person

That degust the sweetness of connectiveness

All running in a bidirectional avenue

True morality is only achievable by sinners

Perfection is to be strive for, however

I’ve learned to be flexible; more accepting

Perfection never requires achievement

And is really summed up by micro-moments

That become etched into a person soul

As memories that peregrinate along with

I know, not everyone cares as deeply as I

Too few can express basic sympathy at all

Nor can anyone ever be me, or I- them

Albeit time teaches those who pay attention

But your age affords you no intellectually

Especially if everything is all about you

And your actions always speak the loudest

Legacies are voided by fame and or money

I love with every fiber of my being and soul

Real love, is far too precious… to waste

Singularity

In my sleep I dream of

Finally, being found smiling

In the color of your eyes

As we rush into each other’s arms

And fall into each other’s hearts

Eons in the making, you, and I

It’s my true purpose in life

Without you, I’m in a perpetual loop

Like the sun and moon’s- eclipses

So close but- all too far

I have walked on ocean waves

Scoured each grain- of time

Climbed every mountain summit

Knelt down beneath the stars to pray

For clues to find my one…unfound love

Fallout

Some of us love long downpours

That’ve dared to secretly sneak in

Beneath the humidly of daylight

Like warriors out on some mission

Saving what’s been wrongly taken

But I abhor their feckless endings

Qualm appears in queer ways

It is most strange, I’ll dare say

For me to sojourn for simplicity

That niche- where I’ve long to be

Within the worse of microcosms

Some of us bare out these lessons

Quietness really isn’t always

That peaceful sound thought

To bring one’s harmony back

That invisible sense of balance

Some of us have acutely learned

To recognized that unique “lull”

Of silence- right after a storm

Because we know what follows

Which is why, for some of us

The echoes are truly far worse

Then the origin … dares to be

Unpacking

Love is an eternal thing for me

Its fruition of divine knowledge

Two people have unlocked, live

You inhale, speak its wonderment

That still inspire heartfelt sonnets

And it defies all sound reason of logic

But can mean a plethora of things

And differently, for so many others

I really couldn’t begin to even fathom

Often, at least to me, too convenient

To claim, as if they’ve won a lottery

Thereby undermine its otherworldliness

Everchanging: a concept of terrific notice

Of which I admit I still grapple with

Cause it can be like a double edge sword

Which in itself, can be very unsettling

But- something in which I am sure of

Is, I still love everyone I ever loved

Despite death, estrangement, or life

Even those, whom I’ve never told

Held close in a crush like heart vault

Most of my pain; is from their loss

Unexpected, uncontrollable changes

And about that diminished access

None of which is easy to readily accept

After two souls melded spiritually

That’s not to say, I wasn’t angered

Not so much at them, the situations

More about the fashion it happened

Then in the happenings of the moments

Deteriorating promises and images

The lessor degree I suddenly mattered

To them and in part also my inner self

And the real unfortunate knowledge

What we had, created- was devoured

Insofar as “we” was now concerned

Which opened the door to move on

To a place of that absolute unknowns

Unwanted, scary, and yet, permanent

At least in small distractive ways

Until the pretending got much easier

Slowly replacing irascible depression

For many, they got extremely angry

Turn their love into malignant revenge

Their life became a dark myopic tunnel

Creating a sickness; one delves into lost

And most can never find their way out

But in truth, I’ll never get over all those

Heartbreaks, they’re my ultimate proof

For me, the love then… still matters now

Not a day goes by,

I don’t feel their absence.

Circled

Love is always causal, so it is said

But I find that specious at best

Shallow men prefer to blame religions

Instead- of their perverted versions

Desire and sacrifice play polemist

Winning me back and forth constantly

Trying to remain center is just egotistic

Tis truly a war of my hidden realties

Waging deep beneath these surfaces

Of what I feel and what I really think

Not to mention what my heart dreams

Most wouldn’t know I participate in

But then they never see the scars either

Nor hear of broken whispers on pillows

Craving is a most wild beast at large

Faith still proves to be an adroit warrior

I tend to have feigned bouts of accismus

Between my thoughts and heartbeats

Coyness: shattered heart learn quickly

Fighting for and against, body and soul

Oft I feel dragged in and out of this world

I care not for the ongoing to and fro

Eternality of love remains … my only goal

Mère et Ange

I was small and confused

But it never lasted long

And I moved on naively

Cause that’s all I had to do

Trust and look up to you

When my heart got broken

And I couldn’t understand

You explained, it just happens

But we heal better than new

Again, I looked up to you

Time slowly changed us both

But no matter where I was

I could call and get answers

Your voice made all the difference

In the present, I looked up to you

When you finally went away

I felt lost and somewhat afraid

No more inspirational talks

I was left to walk- by myself

I was gifted you … to look up to

In remembrance of my mother

Flights

Maybe- or maybe not

Tonight might be; uncertain if

These dark shadows will speak

I can feel they have much to say

I know- they know my name

And I know why they remain

Without hearing a single word

Sometimes I can feel their heartbeats

Whenever the rain and thunder fall

So, they never feel the secret need

To hide there within themselves

I light candles for them to dance with

Especially if there are no stars about

Or the fog smothers over all the lights

And there is- no one else around

They flow fluently just like a river

Lost to a forgotten forest dark

But they know, I’ve never forgotten

Anything I’ve loved … from my heart

Res ipsa loquitur

Staring out these old windows

Past the dilapidating barrier walls

I recall some past moments of love

That filled and warmed every room

Before this fogyish cold came on

Before an eerie silence had replaced

Laughter’s that spoke in volumes

Oh! How consistent time changes

A path we all seem obliged to follow

My inner nature seems more like dust

Remaining here amongst their shadows

A sentinel upholding his own promise

This is just a shelter, far from a home

Where but a fading heart exist … alone

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