Truth doesn’t lie

 
The sun has broken another horizon  
 and the light doesn’t play favorites  
 
 I’ve been up all night, once again
 discerning just what is really best  
 
 I know I seem different somehow
 maybe because I’m wearing sadness

 And yes, that’s shadows in my eyes  
 that I just can’t seem to hide, anymore   
 
 It’s why it’s so hard to face you now
 that alone makes me, feel like crying  
 
 Words just seem so hard to find  
 in moments like this here- this time  
 
 But words will never change the time
 of doing what has to feel like is right  
 
 Me- being a storm of loves disaster  
 instead of your, welcome sunshine  
 
 Girl, I think we really always knew  
 somehow deep on our hearts mind
 
 And we were just playing along
 filling up empty time in our lives
 
 I think we’ve both learned hard  
 what love is, and this really isn’t it  
 
 Mending those pieces of ourselves
 as we slowing relearned, acceptance    
 
 But- I just have to save my heart  
 from making another broken mess
 
 Saying goodbye, always hurts  
 but I know, right now it’ll hurt less
 
 So- I leave you here alone today
 instead of waiting, any longer, girl  
 until you do it, in some… tomorrow
 
 
 Poet of the Light © 2020 

Conventional magic

 When forever, slips away  
 In love and everything  
 We’re left, as a broken mess
 And nothing more to believe in  
 
 My heart has been shattered  
 A time or two, and too often  
 When all that really mattered
 Left me behind, unapologetically  
 
 Since when does love require  
 Loving self first, above all others  
 And since when does forever  
 Only last a little more than a day
 
 I find it eerie these days, we only see  
 Love as blame…for broken dreams
 
 Poet of the Light © 2020
 
 
 
 
 
 

Noteworthy

 
 I’ll pick up these little pieces  
 Of what’s left of myself  
 Head off in another direction
 No compass to guide my way
 My heart will wander aimlessly
 Nothing new really for me   
 No place to go, no one to see  
 I’ve resigned, you won’t come
 I can’t live a fools dream  
 And now I know, I can let you go
 You have your needs, I have mine  
 Or repeating our acts of insanity  
 In a day or two, you won’t notice  
 My absence hurting your life
 And you’ll remain right on track
 Chasing after what you never had  
 But I will miss you- everyday  
 Lost conversations and laughters  
 That filled up the silence we have  
 Maybe, another time, another place  
 We could’ve been something… special  
 
 Poet of the Light © 2020  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Distinctable

 
 In my heart, I knew not to expect much   
 I knew this journey- would be arduous  
 By choice, by necessity, by blinding faith
 But being found by a pure love often is  
 I knew each step would seem impossible          
 Maybe until I fell into her arms- literally  
 But still, I had to take it, I had find out   
 After all, what was their to lose except
 More of the same unwanted nothingness
 That littered all my daily hours anyway?
 How would being loveless any different  
 Than accepting every faux replacement?
 Many will suggest and normalize settling  
 For nearly anything much less: sabotage  
 The taxing road would test my integrity  
 Even if only I- myself would really know
 Whether or not, I maintained my dignity
 I’ve fallen pray many of times in hopes  
 Being subjected to dishonesty, repeatedly   
 Battered emotionally, subjected to more
 Ridicule, temptation for the more lessor
 More conventional way of daily living
 But I’ve persevered by the grace of God
 Most times within my own set confusion  
 To have nothing to offer but love- itself
 Would take great deal of courage of trust   
 I must admit, what real journey compares?
 Can you image the woman who does dare?
 It's not for the faint of heart, that for sure  
 But, being found by a prayer is… priceless  
 
 Poet of the Light © 2020  
 
 
   

Failings

I’m sorry, so very sorry 
I couldn’t be all those things
You wanted me to be, and still be me
Can you really look me in eyes;
And tell me you’re surprised?
Know it hurts me just as painfully
Even to think that I somehow
I’ve let you down, in both our minds
I’m sorry, so very sorry
But my heart can’t forgive
You wanting someone else
And still expecting me to hang around
Just in case you change your mind
I’m still breaking down inside
No- I’m sorry, so very sorry
I can’t live up to your dark expectation
My heart won’t let that happen
And over time this pain might subside
But I won't change my mind
Baby- this is goodbye
I’m sorry, so very sorry
Of how love needs to be...for me

Poet of the Light © 2020



Natural selection

Photo by Cole Keister on Pexels.com
I’m trying to hold on
But these winds are so strong
I hope you can protect me
Soon
They say it's all an illusion
But they’re not listening
I’m falling
Oh no-
Cynical reactions
Never could save anyone
I’m at mercy of the breeze
Help me
It looks frightening
This giant mirror below
On this water, I’m alone
Spinning
Current situations bleak
My life tree lost me
I’m floating too fast
I’m soaked
Rolling beneath the surface
Ripples are now churning
I can’t hear myself think
Drowning
It's almost over
One final plunge
The underworld is ugly
I’m...gone


Poet of the Light © 2020

Spinning wheels

A thousand why’s
Run through my mind
It's a storm I can’t control
I know, even if I tried


I step back from the picture
Trying to understand better
But all I find are more questions
And never any real answers


Why oh why- like a song
Confusion goes on
I want to run to nowhere
But nowhere is already right here


I hear you talking
But I no longer understand
Its as if, I heard the same thing
Far too many times to listen


You never seem to hear me
I see your eyes rolling
So I roll mine and shake my head
This just ain’t right, no more


This is a paradise for the insane
And I no longer want to remain
So don’t be a fool
And ask me, why oh why, baby


You drove me crazy
Now you’re driving me away
And all I can feel now is
I’m happy and...I’m free



Poet of the Light © 2020









Could’ve been’s

Some things aren’t worth
Keeping and better off to be
Leaving well enough alone
Like wildfires out of control
Let time fall flat on its face

So I’ll just start by drowning
Those little bitty memories
All their following aspirations
Of us and everything- love
A homage of sorts for losers

Then I’ll burn our bridges
Being left behind wrecked
In billowing smoke and dust
From unused passion I had
Once conjured up about us

After which I’ll slip away
Like loves refugee I’ll flee
That imaginary you and me
In the middle of some night
While the moon is sleeping
On a pile of cloudy pillows
And rain pouring down hard
Washing away all my tracks

Until I find some place that
No one you’ve ever known
Knows me or even my name
I’ll end all my rhymes and
Their reasons to exist too
Maybe then I’ll forget...you


Poet of the Light © 2020