Failings

I’m sorry, so very sorry 
I couldn’t be all those things
You wanted me to be, and still be me
Can you really look me in eyes;
And tell me you’re surprised?
Know it hurts me just as painfully
Even to think that I somehow
I’ve let you down, in both our minds
I’m sorry, so very sorry
But my heart can’t forgive
You wanting someone else
And still expecting me to hang around
Just in case you change your mind
I’m still breaking down inside
No- I’m sorry, so very sorry
I can’t live up to your dark expectation
My heart won’t let that happen
And over time this pain might subside
But I won't change my mind
Baby- this is goodbye
I’m sorry, so very sorry
Of how love needs to be...for me

Poet of the Light © 2020



Natural selection

Photo by Cole Keister on Pexels.com
I’m trying to hold on
But these winds are so strong
I hope you can protect me
Soon
They say it's all an illusion
But they’re not listening
I’m falling
Oh no-
Cynical reactions
Never could save anyone
I’m at mercy of the breeze
Help me
It looks frightening
This giant mirror below
On this water, I’m alone
Spinning
Current situations bleak
My life tree lost me
I’m floating too fast
I’m soaked
Rolling beneath the surface
Ripples are now churning
I can’t hear myself think
Drowning
It's almost over
One final plunge
The underworld is ugly
I’m...gone


Poet of the Light © 2020

Spinning wheels

A thousand why’s
Run through my mind
It's a storm I can’t control
I know, even if I tried


I step back from the picture
Trying to understand better
But all I find are more questions
And never any real answers


Why oh why- like a song
Confusion goes on
I want to run to nowhere
But nowhere is already right here


I hear you talking
But I no longer understand
Its as if, I heard the same thing
Far too many times to listen


You never seem to hear me
I see your eyes rolling
So I roll mine and shake my head
This just ain’t right, no more


This is a paradise for the insane
And I no longer want to remain
So don’t be a fool
And ask me, why oh why, baby


You drove me crazy
Now you’re driving me away
And all I can feel now is
I’m happy and...I’m free



Poet of the Light © 2020









Could’ve been’s

Some things aren’t worth
Keeping and better off to be
Leaving well enough alone
Like wildfires out of control
Let time fall flat on its face

So I’ll just start by drowning
Those little bitty memories
All their following aspirations
Of us and everything- love
A homage of sorts for losers

Then I’ll burn our bridges
Being left behind wrecked
In billowing smoke and dust
From unused passion I had
Once conjured up about us

After which I’ll slip away
Like loves refugee I’ll flee
That imaginary you and me
In the middle of some night
While the moon is sleeping
On a pile of cloudy pillows
And rain pouring down hard
Washing away all my tracks

Until I find some place that
No one you’ve ever known
Knows me or even my name
I’ll end all my rhymes and
Their reasons to exist too
Maybe then I’ll forget...you


Poet of the Light © 2020






Contrast

I dusted off yesterdays dreams

From my sleeves and my chest

After you up and left- yet again

You never say goodbye or apologize

Knowing how injured I’ll be tonight

You promised, you’d never leave

I was foolish enough to believe- whispers

And now, I find myself standing here

After walking mindlessly

In the dark depths of midnight’s air

Of all places I wander to here, all alone

Where we first said our “I love you”

And kissed with burning passion

I never thought would end

My lips feel as numb as my soul

Who would’ve guess, us two?

Would dare to defy all the odds

Polar shades of skins but not our desires

And now we prove, they were right

To question all our eagerly motives

That we kept denying, all along

Until we finally broke- both of us

Oh how I still feel the sting- burning

Deep down within me, and then some

Even stars feel too blemished to shine

Heavy is the night time hours cloak

How apropos, on my cheek it feels like rain

And my emotions, are fully inflamed, in truth

So much I can hardly speak to myself

I prefer a love as it was meant to be

The way your whispers painted to me

When you held my heart in your hands

Not the love you prefer to change, yet again

Whenever warmer winds- stir your restlessness

My darling, with all the love for me you posses

Gift me a last request-and forget… I exist

Poet of the Light © 2020

Fallen

As a child, I danced in make-believe

And always felt reverence for my God

Wandered about as if life was never-ending

I felt all the prismatic colors of life

Tasted heavens golden grains of time

And played in dreams of my imagination

I seen strangeness of snow in summer

Lost my breath in a second of a cold gray dawn

Freely watched the miracle of life, birthed before me

But God knows freedom, is anything but free

Especially when it indiscriminately takes you away

From where and who you really want to be- with

Nothing seems any more terrifying

When you feel, you’ve fallen off the edge

Of the life you once had, with them back then

You leave behind empty whiskey bottles

Instead of dusty footprints for others to follow

Where you’ve been and where you’re going next

Everything changes; and feels so different

You feel the hurt, each time ocean waves break

But you’ve become too numb to feel the wind or rain

Sunshine, no longer matters anymore

Because all its true colors, really came from

People you loved and adored, before it got darker

It ain’t no wonder, so many give up

On both life, unending love and beliefs

When you’re drowning in nothing like it was…back when

Poet of the Light © 2020

Ataraxia

Memories can still be triggered

By the simplest of subtle things

A scent, sudden chill or reflection

I still loved you even after you left

But- those feelings, no longer live

Nor do they steal me as they once did

I packed them up, moved them out

Resigned to the facts as they were

Opening my doors and windows

Changing my stale curtains to sheers

For fresher air and my full future

Making room for life, maybe love

To be accepted as enough… by someone

Poet of the Light © 2020

Anymore

 

I know I did my best

Until the best of me left- long ago

Oh baby- it ain’t hate speaking

I’m just honestly saying

I’m too tired to even leave

Don’t look surprised, we both know

Every word I say is our unspoken truth

Why don’t you just go- be free

And save yourself from even me

Please, don’t let me hold you back

I promise to turn away- uneasily

Your embraces secretly, tore me apart

As you wore someone else’s scent

I’ve had enough of your kind of love

I just can’t bare to carry it- anymore

Not on these depressed shoulders

All my strength sapped away

Like those dreams of yesterday

From living a loves, ugly mess

I see in the lines on my face

Starving in all this lost time

For so much as just a loving hug

That didn’t feel cold and distant

Whenever your cruel words- didn’t

Or the looks and undertones

Cause my eyes to break into water

That I hid in withdrawn silence

And shattered reality of my mind

Someplace far too familiar

That I never wanted to know

An island, far from what we were

Far from where you’ve taken my heart

And I learned what they mean by

Loving some enough to- “let go”

Of burnt bridges and pieces of love

That no longer depict a pretty picture

After it’s frame fell from its cherished wall

Cause we don’t represent that…anymore

Poet of the Light © 2020