Counterbalance

 To live yourself, is to live truth  
 But truth isn’t always accepted
 Much the way dark dislike, light
 I blaze my own path in a silence 
 Perhaps- I’ve outgrown some  
 Of the past- darkness of my life
 Parts I know all too well and yet
 Some I wish I never learned at all
 Far too much beyond my choice 
 But growth can come at a price  
 Often I feel more like a foreigner
 Amongst those I once knew close
 Most of which, in my heart I love  
 Which seem not to know me, now
 So- I find myself in eager search  
 For what exactly, I’m most unsure
 But I’m sure that answers await me
 We’ll meet, in the light … someday
 
 Poet of the Light © 2020  
   
   

Truth doesn’t lie

 
The sun has broken another horizon  
 and the light doesn’t play favorites  
 
 I’ve been up all night, once again
 discerning just what is really best  
 
 I know I seem different somehow
 maybe because I’m wearing sadness

 And yes, that’s shadows in my eyes  
 that I just can’t seem to hide, anymore   
 
 It’s why it’s so hard to face you now
 that alone makes me, feel like crying  
 
 Words just seem so hard to find  
 in moments like this here- this time  
 
 But words will never change the time
 of doing what has to feel like is right  
 
 Me- being a storm of loves disaster  
 instead of your, welcome sunshine  
 
 Girl, I think we really always knew  
 somehow deep on our hearts mind
 
 And we were just playing along
 filling up empty time in our lives
 
 I think we’ve both learned hard  
 what love is, and this really isn’t it  
 
 Mending those pieces of ourselves
 as we slowing relearned, acceptance    
 
 But- I just have to save my heart  
 from making another broken mess
 
 Saying goodbye, always hurts  
 but I know, right now it’ll hurt less
 
 So- I leave you here alone today
 instead of waiting, any longer, girl  
 until you do it, in some… tomorrow
 
 
 Poet of the Light © 2020 

Smitten

 She flowed like a river of grace
 Until that water turned to flames
 Reversing her course of direction  
 Spilling over on my appreciation  
 
 As the taste of her brackish kiss
 And its burn lingers on my dry lips
 Much like her caustic words still do  
 Here deep within my inflamed heart  
 
 Oh how bitter a love can become
 Changing sweetness into vinegar  
 Eclipsing a sun- with true darkness
 Replacing warmth with frigidness
 
 Blind love hides the true motivation
 Of a serpents intention… until bitten
 
 Poet of the Light © 2020  

Causality

 Midnight madness revolutions
 Dancing on sadness in a song  
 Swooping into transformation  
 Someplace I really don’t belong   
 
 I’m the teardrops you never saw
 I’m the future you let go- of
 I’m the results of my love for you
 I became what you couldn’t use  
 
 You’re a dream that disappeared  
 Off into some cosmic thin air  
 I really believed you were real
 Until I fell, from even myself  
 
 Tossing and turning every night  
 All I do to survive you is fight… life  
 
 
 Poet of the Light © 2020  
 
 
 
 
 
 

Customized

 I skipped out of church that Sunday  
 There was a drunken gray overcast
 The air was heavy and foul scented
 I climbed up on the concrete railing  
 Perching myself like some giant bird 
 Looking down at the deceptive water
 Waiting for fates sudden gusty breeze  
 To save my frail courage from failing
 But on that morning, it was windless
 Any other day would’ve been windy  
 My bad luck or was fate still toying,
 With my mind, my heart, my life?
 I remained seated watching, waiting
 For answers I couldn’t find elsewhere  
 Hours past, none came as I felt dull
 I stood and turned to get back down
 Feeling defeated even more when  
 My feet landed, a gust of wind came
 And removed my hat; it fell down
 Upon the same watery surface below
 In that moment all I could surmise  
 Was my hat was gifted mercy I wasn’t
 Strange thing to compare oneself to  
 An inanimate object such as a cap  
 Frustrated I quickly turned in disgust
 At myself, my thoughts and lost hat
 I slipped off the walkway curb and fell
 Into the street in front of a screeching
 Car that came to rest inched from me
 A panicked lady rushed out of the car
 To my side to offer triage or prayers
 Her eyes were filled with teared terror  
 Thinking the worst had just happened  
 She knelt down by me; a crowd formed
 Her hands were shaking, yet she was  
 Focused on only my personal well being
 My heart filled with embarrassing guilt
 As I tried to reassure her, I was just fine  
 In hopes everyone else would move on
 And relieve her of any self-indictment
 She helped me to my feet and offered  
 A ride, then she insisted I drive if I felt
 Up to the task, and I eagerly obliged  
 It was the least I could do for my victim
 Of my childish tactics lead by emotions  
 We hadn't gotten more than a few blocks  
 When I realized she had been drinking
 And was still crying and apologizing  
 I told her everything will be alright  
 But she still assert it was all her fault  
 She had been depressed about her life  
 And was on her way over the bridge  
 With the intention of drive off the  
 Quay in her car after drinking all  
 Night long to muster up the courage
 Her sobbing increased and begged  
 Me to forgiver her, I wept myself
 To the point I had to pull over and  
 Confess my own foolishness to her
 After out tears and shame subsided  
 We agreed to go for coffee and talk
 Four hours later I pulled up at my  
 Address where a young man had  
 Been sitting and holding my cap  
 In his hand, I was puzzled at first
 When he explained he found it by
 The riverbank stuck on a tree branch
 He retrieved it and looked inside to
 Notice my name and address was
 Inscribed inside on a tag sewn in
 Which read, if found return it to
 My name and address for a reward
 I had forgotten my mother sent that
 And as a joke sewn that inside due  
 To me always losing hats as a child  
 I gladly offer him a ten dollar reward
 He happily accepted and headed out
 Then he stopped and said the most  
 Peculiar thing to both of us smiling
 “You know, with a little more faith
 And trust in the lord, he wouldn’t have
 Needed to do things the hard way for  
 Just to make both of your lives- happy “
 Bewildered I tried to stop him but-  
 He simply ignored my shouted request
 We wed at the church seven months later
 And that same young man also appeared  
 Waving and smiling in the crowd only to  
 To disappear a mere few seconds later  
 We both turned to each other… and grinned     
 
 
 Poet of the Light © 2020  
 
 
   

Lost innocence

 
  I remember, when we were young
 In love and happy with each other
 When all we could afford was- love  
 But after so long, something happened
 Now all you want to own is everything  
 And we lost all we were, to each other
 Where’s that girl I fell in love with?  
 How did she disappear before my eyes?
 We grew up and outgrew ourselves  
 Oh how- I’ve wish again and again  
 We were still existing on that love  
 We cherished, when we were… kids  
 
 
 Poet of the Light © 2020  
 
 

Moon shadows

 Here I am, recovering  
 At a slow pace, inside of me
 Between the dark shades  
 Of foolishness and shame  
 Far from your cutting words
 Out of your reach forever   
 Oh girl, you really hurt me
 Down deep inside of my soul  
 You’ll never know- just how bad
 Cause I’m never taking you back
 And these scars will remind me   
 Sometimes, the pain wins
 And I hide behind the lie, I’m fine  
 When I’m crumbling again
 Right there center of my heart
 Where your silhouette chases  
 After my inner feelings    
 And withdrawal of your touch, haunts
 The darker corners of my mind   
 Where I let you pretend, to love me
 More than I did, to myself  
 But those days are long over  
 Its only nights I have… trouble with  
 
 
 Poet of the Light © 2020  
   
 
 

The one

 

 It can feel the painful seat  
 Coming here, to sit on this bench
 Where first you and I met  
 Just as fall, was beginning to fall  
 
 We joked with each other to hide  
 Our secret and inner brokenness  
 From the world of strangers
 Afraid of being seen, rejected  
 
  As the time spilled by unnoticed  
 We grew familiar and comfortable
 Like months had passed in those hours
 Laughter disarmed all our guards  
 
 But somehow, as if magically  
 You seen clear through me
 Into my raw and shattered heart
 You smiled, shedding a tear  
 
 It was in that moment I recall
 I saw yours, my lips quivered  
 I couldn’t dare utter the words
 How beautiful you were, to me
 
 Our regrets and fears suddenly fell  
 Like the dried leaves from trees
 You stood up to embrace me, kiss   
 At the same time I had wished it  
 
  Oh- if, if I- had only known  
 As you left, and looked back  
 That I should’ve been braver
 And chased after you back then  
 
 Would I still be carry that one regret  
 Of letting love slip away so easily  
(sporadic snowflakes begin to fall about) 
 In my heart, to here everyday ... since?  
 
 
 Poet of the Light © 2020