Category: recovery

Overcome

Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com
Setting aside all our childishness 
And those hurt emotions, still left 
Inside raw scars buried in my chest 
From a devastating chaotic erosion 
Of our once shared euphoric heaven 
Protected by some imaginary bubble 
Oh! I have come to realize these days 
That wear on in much different ways 
There is no real guilt to share or wear
No blanketed blame for either to carry 
Such is the nature of adventures taken 
No misleading star we blindly followed 
That stole us away from our own reality 
No winds came to blow us off course 
Albeit we drowned in what was current 
What we shared was beautiful, at first
And far beyond our ability to maintain
We were but simple pyre to that flame 
We got caught in the wild and rampant  
Until we fell into an invisible crevasse  
A fault line- that laid obscure somewhere 
Between where we started, and ended 
A landscape we learned was not… love 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021

Righteous

Photo by Alvin Decena on Pexels.com
Crimson- black, blue, and undistinguishable  
Shattered; a scattered casualty of a mess
As if a giant glass kaleidoscope had- burst  
Her fingerprints, clearly all over all of it
That’s how she left my innocent heart
On her immense exit of my love, my life 
Her weapon of choice was whet caustic words
Razor sharp that cut to the bone of my soul
I never would have suspected this cruelness   
And I sat there stunned- alone in a dark corner 
Even my tears had given up on the task of falling 
Like an abandoned child ignoring the obvious
Still, with last fiber and conscious of my being  
My heart craved the best way to … forgive her 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021

Suspension

 
 Tidbits of a Tuscan colored sun
 Adorn the wintry gray horizon
 Beset by a most dividing pall haze   
 As ghostly clouds and wild fog  
 Chase one another in mere silence  
 Providing them rhythm and reason  
 True to life and their own nature  
 I strive to rediscover for myself  
 Since absence of loves presence  
 I’ve transformed into loneliness  
 And became too accustomed to  
 These caustic cold breeze kisses   
 Playing havoc on my numb cheeks                       
 Liken a tall oak tree, overburdened  
 Dew can still seep down my face   
 Transplanted in some remote forest  
 For all the broken, lost or unwanted
 Where few visit or care of recovery
 Caught between life and hibernation
 My frayed heart awaits... rejuvenation
 
 
 Poet of the Light © 2021

Counterbalance

 To live yourself, is to live truth  
 But truth isn’t always accepted
 Much the way dark dislike, light
 I blaze my own path in a silence 
 Perhaps- I’ve outgrown some  
 Of the past- darkness of my life
 Parts I know all too well and yet
 Some I wish I never learned at all
 Far too much beyond my choice 
 But growth can come at a price  
 Often I feel more like a foreigner
 Amongst those I once knew close
 Most of which, in my heart I love  
 Which seem not to know me, now
 So- I find myself in eager search  
 For what exactly, I’m most unsure
 But I’m sure that answers await me
 We’ll meet, in the light … someday
 
 Poet of the Light © 2020

Influential

The empty chair, in sharp silence

I can deal with and compensate for

.

Glancing stares out a near window

Oft forgetting that, I shouldn’t expect

To see your smiling image out there

.

My amnesic mistake, calling your name

As I enter a room- that is now barren

Can have a sobering affect to a heart

.

The painting easel and its blank canvass

Lacking those perfectly placed colors

Of life, you re-imagined so masterfully

By painstaking hands, I can re-imagine

.

Those are the times I write the utmost

Precious words of my heart, paperlessly

Because they’re spoken without thought

.

But our bed is the coldest place of all

Not because it lacks your warm body

But because your resounding heartbeats

Is what made all the difference… for me

.

Poet of the Light © 2020

Fallen

As a child, I danced in make-believe

And always felt reverence for my God

Wandered about as if life was never-ending

I felt all the prismatic colors of life

Tasted heavens golden grains of time

And played in dreams of my imagination

I seen strangeness of snow in summer

Lost my breath in a second of a cold gray dawn

Freely watched the miracle of life, birthed before me

But God knows freedom, is anything but free

Especially when it indiscriminately takes you away

From where and who you really want to be- with

Nothing seems any more terrifying

When you feel, you’ve fallen off the edge

Of the life you once had, with them back then

You leave behind empty whiskey bottles

Instead of dusty footprints for others to follow

Where you’ve been and where you’re going next

Everything changes; and feels so different

You feel the hurt, each time ocean waves break

But you’ve become too numb to feel the wind or rain

Sunshine, no longer matters anymore

Because all its true colors, really came from

People you loved and adored, before it got darker

It ain’t no wonder, so many give up

On both life, unending love and beliefs

When you’re drowning in nothing like it was…back when

Poet of the Light © 2020

Constraints

The sun doesn’t always climb back up

After devastation has thundered through

Ones life like an unceasing wreaking ball

Not at least, at first, in ones frame of mind

And truth be told, it hasn’t been that easy

To dare consider venturing back outwardly

To dare look up into that same skyward

That once umbrella everything- us

Or consign fate still holds something

Hidden within those pattern of stars

Clutched deep in its mysterious galaxy

A pathway, if you will, renewed hope, love

Secretly I’ve watched the stars each night

Even when fog has rolled in like clouds

Endured blinding rainstorms and blizzards

I remained vigilant, with doubts echoing

Awaiting for them to finally realign

To catch me halfheartedly gazing

Yet halfheartedly believing, dreaming

That one night, it steals my breath, my thoughts

Revealing its secret plan, move my soul

Set me upon, the right course to…live love

Poet of the Light © 2020

Knot

 

I cursed you-

With every molecule of my being

Until the sound of my own voice

Abruptly breached my sleep

Rampant heartbeats, clashed into reality

And then I cursed you again

In a broken voiced whisper

As a fistful of sheets crinkled aloud

While I struggled to see about, nothing

In that slightly moonlit room

Where we shared our dreams, unadulterated

Sung old love songs like lovesick teenagers

As our random playlist reverberated

Where we hid like outlaws from the world

Pretending no one else even existed

As if, we were all that was ever created

And our utopian bubble, our oyster to devour

Where our sweaty nakedness shivered

Sinfully grinning as snowflakes pelted the windows

Where lust-filled desire drained our energy

As we remained intertwined during recovery

Where we ate breakfast in bed for dinner

Only to share delivered dinner at the next dawn

Where our long intimate talks still echos

Amongst candlelit aroma and blushing walls

Where nothing we owned was off limits

Reveling unquestionable trust in each other

Where promised words of our love

Became threaded around our emotions

That served as a protective palisade to our hearts

Until- all of it suddenly became

Meaningless and desireless to you in anyway

Igniting a maelstrom of destruction and loves existence

Becoming a galaxy of lifeless stardust…and me

 

Poet of the Light © 2020

Wakes of whispers

I pensively look around me

Realizing, this is my destiny

But not where, I ought to be

How did I get so tossed- aside?

 

I try to look up to the sky

As if answers, would fall on cue

Far too bright- for me to see

I remain here even more confused

 

And yet, that river flows- on

To places I’ve never gone

And comes from, where I’d been

Maybe- we’ll meet up at the end

 

She was all my sunshine and rain

Never thought I’d be the current…she’d change

 

Poet of the Light © 2020