Decouple

Sometimes looking into a mirror

Is scarier than who looks back

In the fog of love, hope believes

I’m not into drawn out goodbyes

But I’m accepting everything- us

Has become our everything wrong

I assure you, it’s not easy at all

You do deserve a very happy life

But my darling, I know I do too

So, I’m honestly looking forward

By letting go of the past and you

Without having to fight each other

We’ve done more than enough of that

It’s time we go and live love… right

Carelessly right

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Like the rain loves the sun

And the night loves the moon

They say it’s just impossible

To really love you- as I do

But they can’t answer me how

They’re so sure of it themselves

And if what I feel is wrong

Maybe wrong is where I’ve belonged

To make my wrong feel so right

Where my love holds its true value

It would then make absolute sense

Why I’ve fail trying to galvanize

Love in a shadowy false truth

Instead of within the essence… of you

Arrestments

We notice the light in darkness

Yet we’re blind to darker lightness

When my thoughts just go blank

Those many of times as of late

And I’m consciously aware

I’m also judiciously reminded

Those times had never happened

In all my life before …your absence

Consequently

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We were a fantasy come to life

I held onto you, you held onto me

We took that proverbial plunge

Flew so effortlessly on love wings

Until you’ve became so preoccupied

And slowly we’ve began our descent

Falling out of trust, losing our grip

Somewhere along the way we lost

What we love the most- about us

All those little nuances we possess

And I’ve been bleeding ever since

I keep holding on, giving all, I have

I simply can’t hold out much longer

You’re killing us… by a thousand cuts

Beyond seasons

April rainy showers came early

The sun always seemed absent

Yet, the grass and flowers grew

But a love I had, I let slip away

I stumbled throughout my days

Thinking only about November

All the fun in snowy mountains

I could still feel on my fingertips

Some seasons never seem to change

And some never seem to go away

But love is much more than a season

Once your heart moves into forever

I’ll secretly love that loss girl forever

And her real name was … November

Fibs of love

Waking up zombified at midnight

Trying to clear a day from my eyes

Watching TV shows that I keep muted

Reading yesterday’s edition pre-dawn

I still haven’t put a pot of coffee on

Few things I haven’t gotten used to yet

Mountain view lunch on my tailgate

Scenery doesn’t add the missing flavor

Wondering silently how I made up here

Feels like snow will be returning soon

Can’t believe I’m still this wide awake

Chores to catch up on, but they’ll wait

I had to drop in to see you again today

I know that I promised you I wouldn’t

I lost my way… when you passed away

Rememberable

I need a life change of pace

To save what’s left of my heart

I never wanted to say to you

I’m lonelier with you here- anymore

You hide inside you little world

And there’s no place for me

You’ve made that clear- repeatedly

I embarrass you in front of your friends

You devalue me for asking questions

There’s nothing I could ever do to fit in

I’ve decided I need- someone like me

That looks past my built-in flaws

Someone that talks to me fluently

Someone that loves me…blindly

Without

I’ve never wanted to burden you

And I do understand what it is like

Navigating the perils of one’s life

I know I have many a time or two

I’ve chosen the folds of lone silence

To breakdown- without any witness

Few will understand my real why’s

And even fewer might dare to care

I cannot be your hero if you’re mine

Beyond measure or any known words

Which is why I speak from my heart

I know, you know it’s what I do best

We’re beset by miles our love overrides

Still, it’s the hardest…I’ve had to survive

Yield

My tears are blood drops from my soul.

I braved my heart when I was innocent

Wear nefarious scars- of my trespassers

Yet- forgiven things I just can’t forget

Made mistakes without a second thought

Broken what precious gift I should not

Drowned in loves tossed barren seas

And still, I thirst beyond comparison

Trodden the same dark paths repeatedly

While fearing- every step that I made

Wadded in the waters of true cleansing

Still- I’m beset to an unwelcome place

And would free myself in a heartbeat

If I could move the mountain…in me

Ambivalence

(shakes head) Just when

I thought I had said it all

I took a welcomed deep breath

The days and nights lingered

And you came back to mind

I don’t know why, now I’ve discovered

I’ve only begun to speak openly

Knowing I’m still broken

And I still hurt, just not as bad

But I’m finding my way alone

To whom I was, who I need to be

Baby steps over these deep cracks

I need desperately this path of patience

So, I can clarify any last…ambiguities

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