Adumbrate

In all I’ve done

To prove my love- for your

None- none- was ever as great

As I’ve come, to finally learn

In that moment…I let you go

Shirt-sleeves

Mesmerizing everyone with your jokes

As if that’s the only thing they’ll ever know

And remember when it comes to- you

Masking all the parts of you unknown

Until you stared at me a moment too long

Oh how- I- couldn’t help myself then

I came to realize, you innocently let me in

Between all those cracks of your smiles

I could feel in me, your hidden sorrows

And my gentle tears welled with your secret

Cause little did you think I would notice

I saw how you keep all of it silent- close

Like an unfriendly ghost- you somehow own

Bequeathed by those who never accepted you

Whenever the world has finally, left you alone

Oh how- I- know those moments all too well

So afraid to open yourself up and to let go

Too unsure to trust someone, could finally come in

Fill that void of inner hollow with true love

With love, kept reserved from that bitter dark realm

That sent the real you in hiding, just to subsist

Within your hidden whispers- of hope to be found

By someone attentive enough to know us, by our silence

Oh how- I- recognize your smiles…brave performance

Magnetism

Contrary to realities truth

I know I shouldn’t

But I never listened well

Even as a rebel child

A natural born aberration

I make myself, slip-

As I sip from the abyss

Just one more time

Ignoring my inner voice, for yours

As if- I’ve really no choice

Anticipation heighten moments

As that rush gently takes hold

Until its too sheepishly late

And my mind, vividly convulses

So- cold, all these memories

But I’m acclimating

To the ghost you’ve become

To me, and my dependent heart

So much so- I rarely shiver

When I close my eyes

As feel your moist whispers

Creep across my bare skin

Chase after my erupting emotions

And like a churning kaleidoscope

All my monochrome brokenness

Is colorfully in energetic motion

Feeling healed, feeling loved

A synthetic euphoria steals me

Into the dark hole, desperate fantasy

For a few moments, I feel you… again

Soundless falls

Amber silently leaks between beset trees

Giving unending chase to a creeping fog

That takes- refuge within their shadows

Upending rein of night, silently escaping

Unrecognizable noises slowly give way

To a natural symphony fresh at play

All while I sit, listening to its soliloquy

Life- colorfully being on our fringes

Hypnotic stars, fade like cooling embers

Ten thousand wishes will die with them

But the well wishers will never be the wiser

And forget them as quickly as those stars

And much like those stars and this night

I find myself a fog, falling upon… twilight

Bitten

From the very first moment

I became- most enthralled by her

As the sun lowered its colors

Before her dainty steps of royalty

As she moved like a goddess

At least, from my own perspective

I couldn’t take my eyes off her

Or how the wind teased her hair

Her lavender scented silky skin

That spoke like spells in my head

Eyes that sparkled when she spoke

I also learned much of loves magic

How it stalled me- infused me

All while daring my courage

To approach her, to talk to her

I felt flushed as my heart rushed

As if smiling wasn’t hard enough

Hell- swallowing felt like choking

Especially when she gazed at me

Me: my bubble of emotional confusion

I wanted to claim her, with permission

But my innate shyness wore me down

Until- we were forced to sit together

My male counterparts became jealous

And she used me to taught them all

Loves perchance by alphabet lotto

I became her whore in full attention

Obsequiously objectified at…merely ten

Inclement

At times, I experience dark storms

That just unexpectedly blow in

From seemingly out of nowhere

Despite a promising dawns break

Which was ushered in, cloudless

I do my best as to hunkering down

From experience time has taught

A bit more prepared on each event

Never knowing how long it will last

Unsure if rain or snow will also follow

I’ve learned to embrace them in stride

Though there are pain filled moments

Damaged- memories radiating from scars

Pretending to appear healed- to others

For those of us who’ve been really hurt

I cling to the belief, love will reclaim me one-day

A love filled with understandment- forgiveness

But still- inside those darker moments, I wonder

Just how my life and lasting love could’ve been

Had I not been altered, become; collateral damage

For me,

just living love would truly be…enough

Featherless

There are moments I feel compelled

To pack up and escape…something

Most would phrase it “getting away”

For me, at times, its getting to somewhere

Maybe, for a day or two, maybe a week

I just never know until, I’m packing

I oft like secluded places, I guess- to think

Which, ironically I do most frequently

It could be, I get bored with myself?

Perchance I subconsciously need a change

Or I hope to be randomly in the right place

For what- I’m never quite sure about

Which brings me to mention an event

I had the other day, a queer epiphany

Shortly after my arrival I went for a stretch

Now mind you, I rarely ever do that

But recently- I had stopped for a rest

After a ponderous walk by the waters edge

Always being sure not to get my feet wet

I took a dry seat on a bolderish shoreline

The sun: being low at this time of year

Was feeling rather warm for mid-day

And I- began feeling very thirsty

When I realized, in all my years visiting

I never so much as saw one Pelican bird

And I thought to myself, that was most odd

After all- this place is called: Pelican Bay

No memory comes to mind of complaints

In minor conversation I’ve encountered

By other visitors or even locals alike

One would think near the bulwark

Where they have a seasonal food stand

It would host a migrating flock at least

Perhaps, I’ve simply not been here;

If and whenever they may have come?

Perhaps further, they are more like love;

That for some, comes in rare seasons?

Perhaps again, that was also my message

By some divine intellectual intervention

On why as of late, whenever I peregrinate

Only one set of footprints are left behind

Perhaps what needs to really change for me

Is to truly quench, whats really missing?

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