Repossessions

They claimed it will be a clear day

I see nothing but imperfect grey

Some glance as if I look strange

Sitting here staring with no luggage 

Wall clock pendulum silently swings

Only briefly distracting- thoughts

From the hands that will take you

Into their arms like a lover does

And I’m forced- to bear witness

Because I dare to love you honestly 

They’ve called for your train boarding

I stood at the station door- alone

How apropos the sheet of glass is

As the sound of the train grew louder

People smiling, joking- and don’t know

All this pain, I’ try to hold in my eyes

I’ve lost all sight of color- and hope

It wasn’t raining but my face- soaked

The cold breezes make it all too real

Strangers hug and kissing, one last time

Tell me why I was denied, that chance?

I tried desperately to wave- but couldn’t

I watched as you left, between tears

Oh, the surface of this ocean’s breaks

Step by step, you didn’t look back

That image now, froze in my heart

I know it’s not rejection- but still hurts

This is the worst pain, I’ll ever know

I have no choice but let you go- away

Everything else leaves except for this

I feel it etching- deep in my soul now

It hurts, I churn, and it burns- ever slow

One more carload down- your loaded

And even the sound of commotion

Can’t drown this ocean, I’m letting go

Everything seems to be going so fast

And yet all I am feels lost in slow motion

A fog of smoke bellows outwards

The rail wheels turn, there you go

With every promised memory we shared

All those stolen moments of me with you

The air whistle makes it all too permanent

I can barely stand here- catch my breath

My eyes are closed, I pretend its dream

I guess it always starts like this, ghostly

This train comes and takes you home

Taking you from love-me, forever away

I can’t even utter those final words

Because there no good about it at all

Oh, it’s true, our love; it is indelible

But no one told me, how bad it scars

In my mind, my heart and now my soul

This being left here alone…without you

Poet of the Light © 2018

Assimilation

I’ve swam- against

Harsh currents of doubt, all my life

Some brought on by rain, mine

Others from loud reining voices

While I paddled in dark shadows

Waves broken- in total silence

Cold and alone I once was  

I no longer need- to swim

I’ve found my reflection, vividly

Standing on a wave- from within

And it reached down to save me

Pulling me out of that unceasing sea

Of caustic bitterness and lies- not mine

And now I can breathe, droplet free

Holding hands with a smiling me

In warm amber lights soothing

Doubt free as I walk on… bitter waters

Poet of the Light © 2018

Winds of winter

The silence that you send me

Is like smoke secretly escaping

From the glowing embers

Hissing- within my cold dark

 

All of this new understanding

Is slowly but finally acclimating

To the un-whispered messages

Burn away slow this winter age

 

For me, snowfalls are nothing new

Neither is silence concerning you

But I hate that sluggish eerie moon

That fashionable dampens my mood

 

You’ll forever be a piece of art

As the constant silent bellows

Forming new hollows… in my heart

 

Poet of the Light © 2018

 

The doors

 

I have been- dredged- darkly

through all my hearts pain

getting to know, just- me.

 

Now, I’m here- unwantedly

in a realm of just make believe

where delusion of you- live

 

This is that- other side

of a world without your love

where only I reside, in silence

this is my sentence- for loving you

 

Sadly- I still have all my feelings

my memories of us, another time

Sadly, I still love to live- love

but I know, not you or another time

Maybe no one, anytime- anymore

 

I may be stuck here, forever

I may be denied the touches

that came from a heart receptive

I know- no one else may find- mine

Or I’m worthy for more of a loving life

That’s what this other side- is for

And only open hearts have…my exit door

 

Poet of the Light © 2018

 

Destinations

If predetermination is the objective; your lost

There are many avenues available to knowledge

For some of us; they are often the right beginnings

Yet and unfortunately at times; in the wrong direction

Albeit, I’ve learned the difference between lust and love

But honestly…only because I nakedly lusted for it

 

Poet of the Light © 2018

Sacred

 

Some lives were never meant to be

Some lives should never be lived

Her tinted windows told me stories

Her accented vocal tones couldn’t

Stories- her mind has long forgotten

Or recalls and still refuses releasing

But those eyes surely witnessed

They’re events locked up in her survival

I read excerpts from the tiny drops

That flowed unmistakable akin words

Horrific words of pain she evaded using

As if to spare her tender scarred lips

The way a mother covers a child’s face

Sparing an ugliness that always remains

Perhaps, she was sparing me as well

My mind, my heart and my novice ears

The sounds; unchecked vivid darkness

We all know dwells amongst humanity

The creases that surrounded her eyes

Also spoke in micro cues; silent language

If the subject was painful; they huddled

Fluently knowing, shielding for the impact

As she depicted passages of her life, time

Every ounce of my empathy, at her disposal

My drops, my trilling but failing utterance

As I tried to express my heart felt feelings

To bring me to life, nearly costing her-hers

I’m the miracle she bore… lived to bequeath

 

Poet of the Light © 2018