Dynamics

I sense her silent audience now and then

Like the manner, one senses a shadow

Ever present, yet resolved to its elusiveness

Especial when I’m set away to myself

Where I meander betwixt life and memories

My inner dams hold back sorrow, mostly

Still, I’m innately beset to always wonder

What she might say to me today or tomorrow

That’s the thing about silence and solitude

You tend to steep in the surrounding silence

Today was better than my last lot of them

However not as great as my best days gone

I also wonder if I ever lived up to the image

She saw me as, cause I’ve always… intended to

Untimely

I don’t know where to begin

But that’s nothing new- anymore

Something internal happens

And I get caught in a lull

Suddenly all my emotions break out

I can’t hold them back or down

I’m back to feeling your loss

Just as painfully fresh as it ever was

My heart and time both get so lost

Until I can pretend once again

You’re holding me close in your arms

And I feel the rhythm of your heart

Slowly consoling all my falling tears

As if you’re here… my eyes tightly shut

Poet of the Light ©

Outings

I sense those shorten breathes

Coming on with thoughts of you

Grow out of a nothingness blues

And those micro gasps of my heart

That resound much like thunder

No one else is ever aware of

As I slip beneath an easy drowning

Wittingly to whet cherished memories

That sometimes-cut deepest inside

Realizing the beauty of your nature

Was created beyond this dark realm

Where your shadow was left behind

It’s now the only place of comfort

I can seem to really find… anymore

Seascape

Ice sheets float off in a lost horizon

As winter gives way in near silence

A frequent malevolent looking fog

Produced by a longer day’s warmth

Blankets the seasonal cold surfaces

Manifesting its distinct self, predawn

As gentle ripples bath the shorelines

Littered by broken waves and memories

Reverberating out a melodious rhythm

That brings a soothing tranquility

As the moon’s ever borrowed light

Remains like a quiet- guiding angel

Long enough for me to fully realize

You were all these, my paradise…lost

Seasonless

My restlessness has gone quiet

In the echoes of your whet absence

That hangs on me like a shadow

I keep hidden away from the light

While I welcome this new strangeness

I don’t speak this new language, well

Which provides me with an excuse

For what I don’t want to understand

Like lightning, sun, and colorful rainbows

Jointly dancing across the barren lands

Maybe it’s the darkness I comprehend

Better than moving on empty without it

Especially when all my joyous times

Has always been lived…in loves presence

Imbuements

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com

It’s been a few months now

Since you have finally gone

Do you ever think of me?

I still remember you each dawn

In the music, we sang together

Whenever those songs come on

Even driving past our destinations

In grey skies of wintery weather

And playing outside in snowstorms

Cool game nights and summer rains

It never seems to get any easier

Life itself really feels so estranged

Your voice calling my name

And while my soul is still breaking

I remember you in …everything

Recalibrated

I feel differently now

Insomuch as most things

The rain, cold, whispers of winds

While some thing’s- not at all

How strange all this is

The intensity or lack thereof

Makes life uneasy, to say the least

Out of sync with my old self

I feel as if I’m left unguarded

Never knowing what to expect

I slip in and out of shadows

Like some new defense mechanism

I don’t know if I’m north or south

Of what I once knew as… normal

Her vacancy

Never to feel comfortable again

I will only hear her unique voice

In deep thoughts and wild dreams

Where an everlasting life is achieved

And our hearts overflow in laughter’s

While reminiscing of lifetimes past

During our youthful days of glory

And lessons we learned or ignored

I will paint in an earnest fashion

From my heart shattered emotions

Pretensionsly filling her void in life

Where once was our conversations

My heart will weep throughout it all

My hearts love remains… unrestrained

Shadow

Those whispers of dawn

Are calling to me once again

The moon wanes in darkness

Lord, knows it feel like winter

And like in every morning

A colorful promise is delivered

I’m staring out the window

To watch it break the horizon

Touching my heart in silence

Like surprise kisses happen

As easy as dawn comes on

It oft leaves me far too soon

Puzzlement of life continues

In my emptiness… without you

Phantomized

I was born into lost

Where my heart wandered

For most of my empty life

Battered, bruised, and torn

After daring to love others

Who’ve misuse everyone or things

I retreated deep inside myself

That only place it learned to feel safe

Like the sun and moon

That travers’s space and time

Like a kept promise being delivered

You took a few of your moments

To listen to my words

And move me with your answers

Ignoring my brokenness and hurt

Somehow it really seemed

An unbelievable kind of feeling

You reached beneath my scars

Unlike anyone has ever before

And I finally started to believe

The way you were treating me

With a lifetime missing love

But all it was… was fool’s dream

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