Passages

I’m living what has been foretold

In words, examples, and metaphors

Of days of my youth and triumphs

Of broken promises and tears cried

Of love- when it visited for a time

And of enduring broken heartaches

I’ve heard Hawthorne’s whispers

As they rustled through the trees

Then quietly slide down shadows

To eventually sit here next to me

Neither did we speak to each other

But we shared an understood peace

I understood far less than I really knew

But I always sought to secretly improve

Stupidly hoping; none be the wiser of me

But as the adage claims; I had my bliss

In mind, intentions, and my heart alike

Odd how we change into someone else

One day far too soon for me even now

I’ll be the forgotten time…I borrowed

Eternalized dawn

After shedding hails of platitudes

That rang more like veiled excuses

There come these quiet moments

I set aside for an intuitive visit

Where I feel somewhat bewildered

As if I’m part of some Parliament

Of observant but rouge Night owls

Scattered about forgotten landscapes

Reexamining musty leftover yesterdays

Looking for introspective answers

To pending questions no one else dares

As I try to nurture my own nature

Of enlightenment and scarred truths

I’m so thankful to have had… you

Set upon

My palate to become some rebel

Has long escaped my lofty desires

Perhaps from my trodden maturity

Wearing my tried-and-true scars

However, neither will I be seen

Through some Overton window

As some acquiescent exemplar

I am that I am, in all my essence

I’ve peregrinated in hells of jungles

Even if they be only human emotions

I’ve felt the Holy presence of God

Inside of my deep but darkest hours

I feel the ripples of the universe itself

When I feel your void… inside my life

Applied

There are those with good intentions

Wanting to help me, move onwardly

I often times feel their moved emotions

Between the words, they’ve bequeathed

I smile about their heartfelt fallacies

As I read comments or simple suggestions

All while knowing I’ll never take them

As I refuse to surrender any of the love

You and I still share- here in my heart

No matter how often I’m caused to weep

Openly or in sheer silence of this new self

We bore true witness to- one- another

Before our God and the whole world

Now, I affirm missed love…still matters

Deterministic

Scent of guilt permeates the air

Laced with a spent sweat perfume

Integrity felt somehow compromised

And echoing words, reverberate hallow

Mid-day, yet to me it felt shadowed

Much like a late wintery afternoon

I can recall the eruptions on my skin

As growing chilly winds gathered

They were only words, but unbearable

Not only to hear, and feel, but fathom

Everything has turned upside down

I became clueless about any position

We always defied the odds, you, and I

I never believed I’d live… to see you die

Precession

Photo by Ash @ModernAfflatus on Pexels.com

Many have come to terms

But they really came to surrender

At least from my perception

I’m one of those- who just refuse

To let go in the face of grief

I’ve somewhat normalized loss

From moment to moment

To days, weeks, and so on

But honestly- how could I not

If that is the only real fashion

To keep you, front, and center

Near and dear to my broken heart

Where I’ve loved you for so long

Even if my wobbliness … let’s go

Overcoming

Overcoming

Much that I silently struggle with

In my daily’s, try not remembering

Regarding many things about you

From our shared loving relationship

Truthfully, I’m beset by many reminders

Starting at Dawn; your middle name

And gentle touches of ghostly breezes

Reminiscent of our missed messaging

Lowkey blend of intimate conversations

At odd places for specious coffee meets

Missed lively sits at local park benches

With children laughing on swing sets

Where I now sit alone watching sunsets

But secretly, I don’t really try… at all

Chills

The mystics of human nature

Tend to be elusively misunderstood

Whilst I logically understand

I’m amazed that it really happens

Overtly catching myself- looking

As if I’m waiting for your return

As if I expect to hear your voice

As if I’ve captured a mere glimpse

Of your presence, however brief

I suppose in part, it’s expected

When you really love others- forever

When you believe, they’ll find a way

To reach out, affirming love’s faith

Affirming we’re still… with them

Tell-tale

Before dawn has dressed in colors

I’m curiously pulled from slumber

Prodded to peer out a glazed sheet

Covered in random dewy presence

Envisioning shapeshifting clouds

Of a moist quiet fog slowly uplifting

In their train of gossamer sheathing

Up across a mountainside shaded

Pondering: if the fog isn’t evidence

We’ve mistaken in simplistic terms

Dismissing any heavenly presence

Of lost loved ones, now our angels

That visit, while watching over us

Before darkness exploits… our hearts

Peerless

There are unseen things we accept

The air we breathe in and out

God and the immortal heavens alike

Falling temperature caressing our skin

Radiation of someone’s love for us

And that subtle congruent feeling

We notice when the world is just right

Which has been missing as long as you

So, it’s rather easy for me to conclude

You- served as my source of serenity

In my life, my heart, and every breath

I’ve struggled to recapture- ever since

But realizing this truthful bittersweetness

Is knowing in my soul… it’s too impossible

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