Category: heartache

Blemished windshield

 

I don’t know and even worse

Fail to understand where I am

Parked at some unfamiliar destination

A quay that endures water crashing

Against its unprotected walls everyday

And now- I’ve added to its weight

Standing here leaning against a railing

As frigid spray of broken waves splash

Into my unaffected staring face

Locked in disappointing thoughts

Too cluttered to make out fully

Any hidden lesson or message

My heart failed to learn before

And I’m so far- from what I believed

Love looked like as an idealistic teen

Never did I think, or give thought

I’d travel in or through so much pain

And my mosaic heart of scars

Never understood that I’d loose

So much of myself along the way

Must’ve been that childish trust

That always rushed to live- love

In every heartbeat I gave away

Bringing me here to this place today

Only to be caught in our last scene

Of living a love denied by destiny

Despite that last shuddering embrace

I still hoped the end would be changed

As I let you slip away from my fingers

And I knew- we’re ending- what was us

Couldn’t we have gentled the moments

And that last kiss; be the one remembered

For all we did, dare to give, to love itself

Because now my broken heart fears it may

Have to last as long as…I do myself

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Heartfelt ways

 

Today- all while waiting

For the night to be delivered

I watched Red Maples leaves

Surrender, to the wind and fall

Like giant colored snowflakes

In a seemingly gentle whorling

Of a Mother Nature’s whisper

They let go, one by one and all

Believing

 

How I know so well, that feeling

Wanting to cling and be free

Being caught up in something

Daring and yet not ventured

Far too great for me to escape

As my love- for you

Even after I fell so easily

Into a whisper of your essence

Unafraid

 

And long after you’ve left

I’ve laid here beside myself

Withdrawing every since

Surrounded by pure darkness

How so apropos- when

Only- the moonlight

Has ever witnessed, the hours

Of my hearts excruciating pain

And it had to hide itself away

So we both could- cry- alone

Unashamed

 

And long after time itself

Slowly takes me away

My love for you will remain

Waiting for the moist touch

Of your long missed whispers

That brought me life and love

Whence once- it called forth…my name

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Times province

 

A moon that made everything matter

Until luminous of all star colors, fell

Out of those blues, life and I- changed

I felt the sizzle of the reining sun itself

Crash into an ocean; darkness became

And all of time itself- drifted away

Then in times wake came an aphotic zone

As love arbitrarily changed its face

I lost its warmth and its full mainstay

I- like a fog lost- within times frame

Hovered aimlessly over; whats not mine

Staring into the face of a frozen lake

I didn’t want to know nor recognize

And as I tried to embrace a dejected cold

My tears fell like a flurry of snowflakes

My kaleidoscope heart no longer controlled

Death comes to me, in a darker, slow- eternity

Oh how inhumane! Such natures mirrors reflects

And what is; isn’t at all, what we’d ever expect

 

The story on her face hurt worse

Than any of the words, she couldn’t say

Love was over and I summarily evicted

While her stuttered whispers, cut me

And I still feel their sting yet today

Even after all these dark caustic years

With those very same cloudy tears

Blinding my shattered eyes, not my mind

To the full truth of all these things

That will never let me go- and why I know

I’ll never get to hold- her- close again

Not in this life, or that untouchable way

Oh- my- God! How it hurts to my soul

Even now, in these unwelcome moments

As it wreaks havoc and I feel so selfish

Leaving my silenced heart feeling…homeless

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Dustless

 

It’s hell- to have known- love

Beyond the mind’s pale threshold

The means and ways; its full truth

Then beset by its touch, in- alone

 

Yet- ever elusive from capture again

Still like some rebellious soldiers

That refuse to die or ever surrender

Unscheduled past still comes to raid

 

To lay siege however it be briefly

Overcoming my human resistance

Re be, in stolen reflective moments

Slated for some mere pedestrian task

Destiny too careless to assign purpose

Leaving me vulnerable, as I am now

Unequipped for what happens next

 

Memories of your existence become

As motility of chills erupt rampantly

Across surface of my unsuspecting skin

Loosening floodgate; my treasures trove

In both my conscious and unfed body

Hidden teardrops weeps in their visit

 

Oh! how I’ve missed- your- touch

All the energy it causes, to explode

Nonpareil taste of your celestial lips

All those intimate whispers told me

Releasing me from times stewardship

Infusing vivid color and birthed galaxies

Where our euphoric nakedness lived- us

A thousand times itself as if left unwritten

Convincing our souls, we were…eternity

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Fraudulent

 

Love is simply a story being lived

However long or short it becomes

Whereas we, serve as pieces of art

However in most matters of love

Prologues may well be artfully absent

Or at the very least, somewhat deceptive

Nonetheless, It was truly far from amicable

One unsuspecting bright summer day

You finally left me the rain, voiceless

I ran out of words and human effort

Love with you demanded a tourniquet

My heart instinctively palpitated fretfully

As if I had walked a century- alone

I nearly felt the callouses on my bare soles

From our shared arduous peregrination

I breathed out heavily in a sigh of relief

Subsequently inhaling your wake of toxicity

That cloud of despair your love offered

Slowly sapping everything that was me

Oh- if I be a tree! surely death came next

I straddled the threshold of heaven and hell

Unbeknownst which was which anymore

All while my heart and mind vacillated

In a crude dance of emotions and reality

Just when I thought I couldn’t do anymore

Grace whooshed in to pull me back to life

Lovers should honestly boast a…prolegomenon

 

Poet of the Light © 2019

Disadvantaged

 

By some designed emotional mystic inception

Of what we individually define as love- itself;

Typically had its inchoative spark into our life;

Regardless of however short lived, it might live

Long before our mere conscious dares to fathom

Accepted knowledge of its very fluent presence;

We will always seem to be catching up, mentally

Or feel abandoned by in its unexplainable absence

When it left us, long before we care to…realize it

 

Poet of the Light © 2019