Should you get lost

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I will come on, like early morning

Soft and soothing as an old song  

Just before dawn burst wide open

I promise, I will be there waiting

Before your beautiful eyes shine  

I’ll bring you your favorite flower

Full bloom greeting when you awaken

While fresh coffee will be brewing

Then I will bring your breakfast

And butter preserves on your toast

As you acclimate all your thoughts

Even if- you’ve forgotten my name

Afterwards, I’ll whisper in your ear

As I slowly brush your greying hair

I’ll remind you of our journey in life

Before and after, our love came to be

And in-between the forgotten answers

I’ll calmly smile as I eagerly reexplain

I will paint your memories back in words  

I whisper from the depth of my heart

We’ll talk about those magic mountains

We enjoyed in every refreshing winter

And the colors of fall- befalling changes

In shredded layers of dancing leaves

I will always find you, where you are

Oh, my Love of all things, I promise

I will remind you about your garden

All your beautiful flowers you planted

You called them, children of your soul

We’ll laugh at the stories we made up

Like all those butterflies that visit us

Really being secret angels, in disguise

Serving as ambassadors of all changes

I will escort you on your daily walks

Arm in arm talking steps of time away

Speak about the oceans we swam in

And nightly beaches, we made love on

While the moon hid behind sheer clouds

We will watch the setting of the sun

Every evening in a slow gentle breeze  

Sitting in our rocking chairs silently

As if life was our own secret movie  

And we played as its only character’s

Tears will swell up inside my old eyes

Whenever I know you recognize- me  

And hold me close in tightly forever’s

They way you’ve done so many times

We will continue to live our love true

I promise Love, I’ll watch… over you

.

Poet of the Light © 2021 Dementia

Unpacking

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Love is an eternal thing for me

Its fruition of divine knowledge

Two people have unlocked, live

You inhale, speak its wonderment

That still inspire heartfelt sonnets

And it defies all sound reason of logic  

But can mean a plethora of things 

And differently, for so many others

I really couldn’t begin to even fathom

Often, at least to me, too convenient

To claim, as if they’ve won a lottery

Thereby undermine its otherworldliness

Everchanging: a concept of terrific notice

Of which I admit I still grapple with

Cause it can be like a double edge sword

Which in itself, can be very unsettling  

But- something in which I am sure of

Is, I still love everyone I ever loved

Despite death, estrangement, or life  

Even those, whom I’ve never told

Held close in a crush like heart vault

Most of my pain; is from their loss

Unexpected, uncontrollable changes

And about that diminished access

None of which is easy to readily accept

After two souls melded spiritually

That’s not to say, I wasn’t angered

Not so much at them, the situations

More about the fashion it happened

Then in the happenings of the moments  

Deteriorating promises and images

The lessor degree I suddenly mattered

To them and in part also my inner self

And the real unfortunate knowledge

What we had, created- was devoured

Insofar as “we” was now concerned  

Which opened the door to move on

To a place of that absolute unknowns

Unwanted, scary, and yet, permanent

At least in small distractive ways

Until the pretending got much easier

Slowly replacing irascible depression

For many, they got extremely angry

Turn their love into malignant revenge

Their life became a dark myopic tunnel

Creating a sickness; one delves into lost

And most can never find their way out

But in truth, I’ll never get over all those

Heartbreaks, they’re my ultimate proof

For me, the love then… still matters now

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Not a day goes by,

I don’t feel their absence. 

Villain

I’m not scared to be lonely… anymore 
No amount of sorry said will suffice 
Or change the things I did- or didn’t do
With or for someone, maybe even you 
Negligent doesn’t always have a reason
I never wanted or tried to cause any pain
That will always be the absolute truth
At times we don’t know why things- happen
And no one cared to listened heart to heart  
I was simply living life best as I knew 
But I never became the best for anyone
Or so the gossip has now determined
I’ll never know now even for myself 
The innocent time I lost inside of doubts  
In every tear fallen- I cried, and I died 
Just a little bit more over all the years 
Making a river I visit in pure silence 
Knowing inside is an emotional hell alive 
Like my love, it will never end for me 
When I tried talking through my tears
You went quiet, hiding in your stoic self 
Unresolved became my isle of normalcy 
But the most painful lesson I’ve learned 
Water under our bridge was ...only mine 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 

Boundless

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Oh! how easy it has come for me
Almost like second nature, taking first
To beat emotions with wordy cudgels 
Mentally, senselessly again and again
As if- that individual was a virgin drum
In desperate need of renewed breaking in 
And heightening even more all this mess 
Intoxicating pain served, as my new love 
It’s so much quicker to just hurt myself 
Let me save you from the duty of scaring 
My whole identity and inner self-worth  
Saving you from the burden of … your love 

Poet of the Light © 2021 

Opportunity cost

We only miss what matters  
In our life, minds, and hearts 
You knew that when you were here
Almost as if it was your mission 
How I wish I would have listened 
Sometimes I stand amazed 
Beneath the warming sun- rays 
As ocean ripples crash silently 
On shores I’ll never see or reach 
I’m feeling something deep within
Emptiness stays where love touched 
A place I don’t think I even own 
But somehow- I’ve come to know 
I’m realizing just how much I- miss
Those little moments with you 
And all those little things you done
In fashionable ways only you owned 
They brought smiles to me each day
Made a difference most of us overlook 
Misuse of living in the wrong moment   
Now I know, I don’t have a right
To feel so sadly unfulfilled in my life
But life is feeling a little less lived … now 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 

Barrowed

 

Oblivious to nature of the galaxy 
How it toils on without permission
However, we do notice of its presents 
When that infamous tolled bell rings 
If- I hear echoes of the bell tolled 
I know, twas not for I- not this time 
Yet- and none the less I am lessened 
Of whom it tolled in reconciliation
To notably lose an unmet friend 
In a most eerie but secretive silence 
That often can have a chilling effect
I should relax; loosen my tense cringe 
Recollect my lost train of thought, as if
Nothing at all happened… when it did  

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 

Re: Ernest Hemmingway
For whom the bell tolls~

Overcome

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Setting aside all our childishness 
And those hurt emotions, still left 
Inside raw scars buried in my chest 
From a devastating chaotic erosion 
Of our once shared euphoric heaven 
Protected by some imaginary bubble 
Oh! I have come to realize these days 
That wear on in much different ways 
There is no real guilt to share or wear
No blanketed blame for either to carry 
Such is the nature of adventures taken 
No misleading star we blindly followed 
That stole us away from our own reality 
No winds came to blow us off course 
Albeit we drowned in what was current 
What we shared was beautiful, at first
And far beyond our ability to maintain
We were but simple pyre to that flame 
We got caught in the wild and rampant  
Until we fell into an invisible crevasse  
A fault line- that laid obscure somewhere 
Between where we started, and ended 
A landscape we learned was not… love 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 

Non causa pro causa

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Points of views; professional or layman’s 
Can be deceiving and further distorting 
WE are all fallible at any given moment  
Dreams can be as inebriating as cathartic  
To vividly live beyond one’s own boundaries
Even in an imaginary bubble of sleep like 
Offer us insight we’ve unconsciously impeded 
Can create motivation to pursue past obstacles
Serve as a focus point and real sense of direction 
Unless- the dreams are beyond one’s ability
Beyond any practical means of achieving
Remember, the snowflake effect is actually real
And can just as easily burry us under context 
Well then, dreams become the drunken issue
Where we start living life only in dreams 
And stop paying attention to real opportunities 
Only to struggle in the real world, as a failure
A version of yourself, you play for everyone else 
Compounding, conflating and disorienting- us
Dreams are beautiful when realistic and honest
Or- like some drug filled life of disappointments
A means of sabotaging ourselves because we adopt 
Rational and reasoning from others; ignoring ours
Only to consume life, foolishly wasting it away 
By crossing over bridges of resentment and jealousy
Right after we torch the very foundation of them 
Conveniently inventing our excuses well in advance 
So much effort, for crumbs of someone else leftovers 
That, they may never even had wanted to begin with 
Remember that life is filled with bad accomplices 
Insecurely offering us cursory encouragements  
We must be our greatest arbiters, in every moment 
Not suggesting we settle for less than: achievable 
But we must identify our own true limitations  
Merely stating reality deserves our full integrity
And as such, shouldn’t we deserve our full attention? 
Be it about our finances, health, or introspection
Break the mirror, dare to shatter those illusions 
And have an unconditional conversation within 
I find, our duty: being the best self … we’ll accept 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 


Exquisite friend

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A blushed sun is veiled this day 
Marbled grey skies; fogyish overcast 
Interchanging breezes, so apropos 
There is no one to send flowers to
Rose thoughts permeates the ambience 
Nor sentiments for the obvious loss
Or to see paying their last respects 
The sound of taps won’t be heard
Echoing out like moaning birds 
No- you expelled all that in darkness
In depths where love and you crashed   
Crowds won’t be here gathered around
To shake any hands or wiping tears 
Regrets for things left unsaid- vacant 
Your scars need not mend complete now
Cause for love is being laid, tragically 
The sermon, will come as silent whispers
All will miss the unsaid moral message
No one will know they were even thought 
And I- need not battle with your odd wits 
Nor the choices you made so impulsively 
I will miss dragging you out of hell’s gates
I guess in my own way, I always believed 
Your finishing act would be in such fashion 
Daring to love, one last time, unabashedly  
I will truly wish your full forgiveness  
Each time I come visit… my faithful heart  

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 

 

Substantial

As warm swirls of a breeze caress me 
Oh, my love, judge me not so harsh 
I felt the essences of your esoteric being   
Skip and slip over these ocean waves
In the form of light happily dancing
Your distorted mirror image of grace 
So much so even my soul- quivered  
And truth be told, its realness: scary  
Suddenness fully embraced all I am 
So- I stepped back from the sandy shore
Back into this forgotten lava land 
As I clung to but my fragments of hope 
That life and others had failed to steal  
Avoiding the temptation of swimming 
Beyond my heart’s own capabilities 
Just to rush all that’s love is meant to be 
For surely, I would have eagerly surrendered 
All of me even to, the reflecting arms …of you 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021