Instinctively

God mindfully made heaven and earth

And sprinkled his perfection about

So, all the imperfects can be perfected

Through series of trail, errors, or doubts

Introspection is our constant true storm

We may erupt in an outpouring of tears

Introverts are simply just a type of species

Not some pejorative needing eradication

Our seasonal weathering does endure

In the groves of our emotional fruition

Our blemished hearts remain centered

Albeit we may show some signs of wear

We were seeded to provide love and care

Nonetheless, we’ll finish our… ripen mission

Undelivered

When I was young like a child

Love wasn’t anything to ever fear

I knew how elusive it was even then

But I didn’t care, and remained open

I grew up far too soon to ever know

Love can simply be so misconstrued

When someone controls its full truth

Turning love into irreparable harm

I settled for much less than I was worth

Accepted all the dark pain and the scars

And delivery of loves promised goodness

To heal my heart- to whole my brokenness

I desire to love like a child’s heart in silence

Waiting for healed promise … of fulfillment

Gabs

We have been thoroughly robbed

Truly and most assuredly as if

A thief in dark of night had come

Stolen what we failed, to protect

Oh- how most complicit we are!

We’ve lost untold stores and smiles

All those gems you just can’t buy

We’re left here to cry, for ourselves

We’ll guiltily hide the void inside

So, we never see it in the mirror of life

Never be reminded of our failing to you

Now we’re sorry, in all the wrong ways

Convincing ourselves you’ve found peace

From a narcissistic world… we’ve created

In memory of Gabby Petito.

We should be better than this by now.

May you one day forgive our failing you.

Contemporaneous

My scars have recovered somewhat

Ashes of colorful futures fall amongst

This dust, through my shaky fingers

My fearless hopes in most all others

Still bleed profusely now and then

I still struggle to clear blurred vision

In this new and unwanted landscape

But- Truth be told, I can honestly say:

It isn’t just a heart alone that breaks

It’s all those whispered lofty dreams

And my irreplaceable broken trust

That I foolishly thought was treasured

It’s the full shattering of one’s world

That quickly imploded on me … all at once

Disregarded

Who was right, who was wrong

Doesn’t matter much anymore

Who we were, has simply gone

I couldn’t repair, what I didn’t break

And just because I walked away

Don’t you think that it doesn’t hurt

At least, any less than if I had stayed

I realized when something is so broken

Something else really had to changed

But I knew I’d never change my heart

God knows, I had to change my mind

And pretend- I didn’t care anymore

I may be alone and still broken inside

I’ve promised to give myself… healing time

Experiential

Time itself has numbing effects

If our minds remain complicit

Yet, there have been such times

Sadly, I’ve unexpectedly realized

Old wounds thought long healed

Just may rematerialize painfully

As all those memories come too

Learning that some of our wounds

Can never fully heal with time itself

Especially when the wounds wait

Substituting for what was stolen

Mindful innocents are unrepairable

We’re burdened bound to that legacy

Accepting that is … accepting healing

Fallible

We made foolish mistakes

That got in our love’s way

I blamed you, you blamed me

Truth was what we couldn’t see

Instead of forging a perfect love

Like we promised and both wanted

We grew better at creating pain

That was certainly our real shame

Scars live where our love used to

It’s something I’ll never get use to

Like those memories that won’t fade

My heart hurts each time… they play

Thoughtless

Some answers just never fit us right

Rambling in circles of a broken mind

The truth itself, can seem all to dark

And sometimes we must close our eyes

Cause we can’t stand nor stare it in the face

It’s bad enough, feeling so misplaced

I’d much rather hang my head, what can I say?

Tell me, where does the magic itself go to,

Once we notice that it has slipped away?

Tell me, how do you ever find it once again,

After you’ve already done, lost your way?

It’s not like a diamond you happen to find

Casually on your way sparkling in daylight

Or is it lost forever, like love to … finders’ keepers?

Existentially

Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric on Pexels.com

This is simply my life

For all its known worth

My brokenness and hurt

What’s done, is done

Life only comes but once

It could’ve been better

I could’ve been much worse

I’m not pleading innocence

Nor am I accepting full guilt

I’ve lived life in blinding dark

On Light’s most outer fringe

Whenever I fall, Oh! I fall hard

Like in love, I freely give myself up

Heart and soul, is all…I really am

Indifferent

Like a strange second shadow unseen

There exist this tethered like accompany

I have no idea who I was meant to be

As I cried forthwith into this dying realm

Before my innocence was broken and molested

As I peregrinated along this humanistic trail

And at times- it seems like I alone resided

Inside my own kind of microcosm- staring out

Oft bewildered as to why some people chose

All those insensitive things they innately do

Then casually walk pass us broken, as if clueless

Oh! I do watch this life as I come to know it

Turn in slow motion; a realm controlled by

Far too many wielding upmost … unkindness

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