Presevationist

Since you’ve been gone

I’ve been nothing but lost

You were the counterbalance

When everything went wrong

Nothing I can say will change

My broken direction now

Life will never be the same

Cynical whispers hound my peace

In night and daydream turbulence   

Whenever I strive to reemerge  

From shattered pieces of my heart

As my shadow is absorbed in a darkness

And I’m just a living memory

That refuses to forget… you existed  

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Poet of the Light © 2023

Photo by Nicolu00f2 Pais on Pexels.com

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Spent

I rose before a colorful dawn broke

Nothing could’ve felt sadder

And while in that silence, I lost hope

In the little bit left of each other

We’ve so desperately held on to

And no matter how much

Of my brokenness still loved you

It wouldn’t be perfect or enough- any more  

To match what we’ve already lost

From all the hurtful lies and distrust      

You’ve loved the idea of loving me back

As I loved you with my whole being    

And I love you enough to let you go

From the last piece of myself… that still can  

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Poet of the Light © 2023  

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Battle tempered

Like a shadow of who I once was

I’ll walk along my empty shores

In the twilight hours of times before

Gathering empty shells of dreams

Left in the wake of ugly betrayals

That nearly drowned me repeatedly  

I’ve stepped past the ghost of my hurt

That plagued me for too many years

Through my heart still feel the scars

That still hungers for- a love unfound      

Where I can practice all, I’ve learned    

To feel the warmth of love in my arms

While I’m clutched in her guiding hands

Teaching me to trust love… once again

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Poet of the Light © 2022

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Disintegrated

My mind does try to understand

All things my emotions just can’t

Like why my heart wants to forgive

But still feels too broken down yet

It favors I surrender and let you go

With all this pain you’ve called love

My soul believes were heading for

A crash much worse than all this

Heartaches aren’t worth the trouble

Let’s stop pretending their normal

I’m so far from everything I’ve wanted

And sometimes I may feel I deserve it

Broken hearts cling to a glimmer of hope

One day someone will love us…anyway

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Poet of the Light © 2022

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Echoes of a soul

There are times in life we miss lessons

That might’ve prepared us much better  

No one ever taught me the depths of souls

Can reach beyond anything we’ve known   

Or that intense reverberating emptiness

Follows in place of a profound love loss

And the fear of ever loving like that again

Is a new shadow we’re forced to live with

Or that your whole life becomes altered

With some beyond our human controls   

Or that loneliness takes on a new form

As ache in your heart, when you’re alone     

It’s written, Christ sends us a comforter

I missed the lesson some are called… back

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Poet of the Light © 2022

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Believers

Sometimes we have to just sit in the quietude

Attentively listening to no one but ourselves  

Our dreams, our woes, uttered prayers aloud

Untangling why we always feel that blueness  

Paying close attention to what is not said too

Like those secrets, we keep locked in our head

Behind a hidden door of our most inner fears

Where we store the scars of rejection and love

Where we keep window and shutters nailed shut     

Those time-etched shattered pieces our ourselves    

We hold hope to revive back to some kind of life   

Knowing full well, in our hearts it’s not possible     

Not without a miracle that only love can bestow

The kind of divine miracles we’re born… to dream

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Poet of the Light © 2022

Photo by Sinitta Leunen on Pexels.com

Misconstrued

Thought I learned to express myself

And outgrow all my inner doubts

I thought time healed our wounds

I thought I knew what lost meant

And that sick bitter taste of regrets

Lingering after their guilt had left    

Haven’t felt this kind of emptiness  

Haven’t felt this kind of darken low

Haven’t ever felt this kind of pain

Haven’t felt this way since my youth  

Always thought I could rise back up  

Despite how broken inside I’d become

Thought I realized what haunting was

But I can tell you…I’m beginning to

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Poet of the Light © 2022

Fiery

Grief is more than an emotional rabbit hole

It becomes a state of awareness all its own

Similar to living in multi-dimensional space

Where life as we know it altered- out of sync   

It’s a mutual wound ripped clear to our soul

Defying logic, conventional wisdom, and love

Where we will often question our own sanity

A cold darkness that may affect almost anyone

Anyone- who dares love by a divine conviction           

And yet, our love for others is what sustains us

Even though we will suffer in profound ways  

As the world at large fails to comprehend this  

Making us feel lonelier on our lonesome journey

Through a dark pathway into… a promised Light

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Poet of the Light © 2022

Mutation

I’ve found “home” was among those

That created that welcoming sense

However, I’ve never felt more divided

From home-ness in my lifetime of living

As I have throughout this past year

It’s as if my life itself split wide open

Resembling a dark giant sea eruption

And a wound that leaves behind scars

I feel left as a spec of an island I once was

Out in center surrounded by strangeness    

The sun used to rise up from the east side

And set softly in quietude on a westerly tide      

Now the sky is filled in a muddied greyness

And a luminous moon has gone… absent

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Poet of the Light © 2022