Used to

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I used to love the moon at night 
Now it just some overt reminder 
There are other stars in the sky 

I used to wade into the waters 
Before water drowned me in tears 
Now I just watch it all from afar 

I’ve become estranged to believing 
At least the kind I used to trust in
Wordless, truth spoke in the eyes 

I used to love all beautiful things
Old, broken or misused by others 
Long before my whole life changed 

I used to be honest down to my bones 
But now- I can’t tell if I’ll love a lie 
That smiles and whispers: I’m alone 

I used to respect and know myself 
Before getting used to … loving hell 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 

China shop

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The sun rose up eerie that day 
Clouds seem to be at a stand still 
I really didn’t care much as all 
Smiling to wholeness of my world
As every color brought me more joy 
With remnants of those moon kisses 
Still wet and fresh upon my lips  
Then sadly- I noticed, your absence 
By then all the clouds disappeared 
Somehow, I stood there- in the rain
Felt the heat burn me in place 
My heart and mind going senseless
My lips suddenly cracked and dried 
Everything: a new shade of grey 
Even unspoken whispers couldn’t fly 
In your wake all you left behind 
Was for me to innocently sigh 
Wallow in hollowed memories
Kneel in an overwhelming disbelief
Even my inhales were half shattered  
I was just another- broken piece
Of the world your horns have ravaged  
All I am, is your… collateral damage 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021

Modulations

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They often asked what was bothering me
Rarely did I hear what they’re saying 
When they saw me stop cold and stare 
I was simply locked into a moment 
Suddenly triggered by something
In the air or just lying there in the silence
Time steals me back to that place called- us 
Before it crumbled into broken trust  
Goosebumps erupt over my skin 
Maybe the world is coming to an end 
Has the sun fallen for the moon’s shadow?
How could I know when I get like this?    
I don’t usually even realize 
Teardrops breaking from my eyes 
Or that my heart tries- escaping my chest 
Misbelieving you’ve returned to stay 
That you are sorry and want to change 
All I really know is there are fragments 
Of you and your essence at large and everlasting 
Admittedly, sometimes I don’t notice 
They have stopped asking me … anything   

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 
 

Non causa pro causa

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Points of views; professional or layman’s 
Can be deceiving and further distorting 
WE are all fallible at any given moment  
Dreams can be as inebriating as cathartic  
To vividly live beyond one’s own boundaries
Even in an imaginary bubble of sleep like 
Offer us insight we’ve unconsciously impeded 
Can create motivation to pursue past obstacles
Serve as a focus point and real sense of direction 
Unless- the dreams are beyond one’s ability
Beyond any practical means of achieving
Remember, the snowflake effect is actually real
And can just as easily burry us under context 
Well then, dreams become the drunken issue
Where we start living life only in dreams 
And stop paying attention to real opportunities 
Only to struggle in the real world, as a failure
A version of yourself, you play for everyone else 
Compounding, conflating and disorienting- us
Dreams are beautiful when realistic and honest
Or- like some drug filled life of disappointments
A means of sabotaging ourselves because we adopt 
Rational and reasoning from others; ignoring ours
Only to consume life, foolishly wasting it away 
By crossing over bridges of resentment and jealousy
Right after we torch the very foundation of them 
Conveniently inventing our excuses well in advance 
So much effort, for crumbs of someone else leftovers 
That, they may never even had wanted to begin with 
Remember that life is filled with bad accomplices 
Insecurely offering us cursory encouragements  
We must be our greatest arbiters, in every moment 
Not suggesting we settle for less than: achievable 
But we must identify our own true limitations  
Merely stating reality deserves our full integrity
And as such, shouldn’t we deserve our full attention? 
Be it about our finances, health, or introspection
Break the mirror, dare to shatter those illusions 
And have an unconditional conversation within 
I find, our duty: being the best self … we’ll accept 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 


Exquisite friend

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A blushed sun is veiled this day 
Marbled grey skies; fogyish overcast 
Interchanging breezes, so apropos 
There is no one to send flowers to
Rose thoughts permeates the ambience 
Nor sentiments for the obvious loss
Or to see paying their last respects 
The sound of taps won’t be heard
Echoing out like moaning birds 
No- you expelled all that in darkness
In depths where love and you crashed   
Crowds won’t be here gathered around
To shake any hands or wiping tears 
Regrets for things left unsaid- vacant 
Your scars need not mend complete now
Cause for love is being laid, tragically 
The sermon, will come as silent whispers
All will miss the unsaid moral message
No one will know they were even thought 
And I- need not battle with your odd wits 
Nor the choices you made so impulsively 
I will miss dragging you out of hell’s gates
I guess in my own way, I always believed 
Your finishing act would be in such fashion 
Daring to love, one last time, unabashedly  
I will truly wish your full forgiveness  
Each time I come visit… my faithful heart  

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 

 

Righteous

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Crimson- black, blue, and undistinguishable  
Shattered; a scattered casualty of a mess
As if a giant glass kaleidoscope had- burst  
Her fingerprints, clearly all over all of it
That’s how she left my innocent heart
On her immense exit of my love, my life 
Her weapon of choice was whet caustic words
Razor sharp that cut to the bone of my soul
I never would have suspected this cruelness   
And I sat there stunned- alone in a dark corner 
Even my tears had given up on the task of falling 
Like an abandoned child ignoring the obvious
Still, with last fiber and conscious of my being  
My heart craved the best way to … forgive her 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 

Parallax

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We both stared out over the horizon
Fixated on the intangible and imaginary
That both our hearts longed to discover 
That missingness only we could notice 
Longing to be held and gently embraced 
And by faith, trusted it would come 
Only in the right time, fashion, and play  
Like two boundless comets heading there 
We eagerly merged into a single atmosphere 
Our naked coalescence felt nearly flawless 
As if by designed but left unquestioned 
Believing fate had bestowed our wishes 
We tossed and turned at times got bruised 
We ignored damage done and moved on
Believing then it takes time to get used to
Those quarks and wonderments of another 
As time slipped away, so too did that image 
Like a slow unnoticeable dissipating mask 
We seemed to be heading in opposite directions
Scorned faces replaced all the smiles and grace  
All while clinging to our ideal point of view
Unaware our unlimited imagitions matched 
But from the distorted reality we really had 
We fell blindly in love with our shared eclipse 
Passing in a fogyish darkness like lost ships 
Unmet desires brushed each other’s wounds 
With the tenderness of quivering fingertips   
Mistook for each other’s wandering hearts  
The treasure we truly sought was absent 
Which is why our chaotic separation hurt 
As a cruel reality finally snapped us apart 
Sending us twirling on the cusp of invisibility  
And we drifted aimlessly back to our space 
Discovering no two points … are ever the same 

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 

  

Angst

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As if on cue to my insecure wounds 
Shadows appear, but only at night
Like flickers of nefarious flames 
As they hunt and prance about 
I find there’s nowhere to escape 
I shyly peek out- from beneath 
That thin layer of false shielding
That separate all them- from me  
Whilst preparing to inspire myself
To save all that is left vulnerable
As my heart pitter-patters loudly 
And in my immature clumsiness   
I know, I’ve slayed those monsters
At least a thousand different ways 
Yet somehow-they remain ever present
And return once again, just as lively  
Which axiomatically begs the question: 
What part maybe purely all delusion?
So as to fully embrace… the reality I’m left  

.
Poet of the Light © 2021