Requisite

I walked in a million waves

That crashed on barren beaches

Waiting to be quenched- once  

Finding only remnants of lives

I lived but inside secret dreams  

And I bore a thousand sunburns

Standing next to you but you

Were just some passing moon

I believed was sent to guide me

Eventually, I came to realize

You’re not the source I’ve needed

And my life grew darker- again

It’s defeating when even lies, lie

But you believe them…to survive

.

Poet of the Light © 2021  

Reconciliation

It was a heart-wrenching epiphany

To be staring face to face at- truth

So long I’ve subsisted without you

Only at that moment had I recalled

Things that mattered to you at all

I’m uncertain when my care faltered

Or threshold I must’ve tripped over   

I’m overcome by overdue guiltiness

And today of all days the bill is due

I’ve no excuse- just my humiliation      

More broken promises are fruitless

I’m duty-bound to offer up something

In practical purpose, I must be better      

Answering to a mirror… more often

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Oddities

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We swam within the same gulf

Of darkness and inner solitude  

Until life threw us both together

I saw hope in your eyes reflecting

Somehow that drew us even closer   

It was the warmth of you I loved

Until you turned dark and frigid

Then, I settled for your coldness

Fragments of what we once were

Now in your absence, I’ve nothing

But mere traces of your memories

I sew together, make them tangible

That one day I may well use them

To escape madness of … your love

.

Poet of the Light © 2021        

Surrenders

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At times- sorrow is all I have

Missing you is an understatement

I’ve never before admitted this  

Once an hour I lose my breath

As I drown in thoughts of you

Sometimes I let your memories

Capture me and hold me…under

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Facetiously

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Baby, I know you get angry

And say things you don’t mean

So, if you’re really going to go

I won’t hold you back, but

Just kiss my last breath away

Give me that as a last memory

But before you leave me here

Save me that pain and misery

We both know what will follow

Don’t make my heart bleed out

Don’t make me suffer forever

Don’t make my tears a river

Don’t make me beg for a mercy

That only makes me feel … unloved

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Redundant

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I will honestly confess

There is this strangeness

That befalls me now and then

Having fully accepted a fact

I’ve been altered- changed

From my intended true self

Broken by nefarious events

People have unfairly wielded

In my mind and my life, itself

There remains that most subtle

Yet, unanswered probing question

Rise up in my fullest of emotions

Despite their ignorant intrusions

Have I become… my true person?

.  

Poet of the Light © 2021

Consequently  

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We were a fantasy come to life

I held onto you, you held onto me

We took that proverbial plunge

Flew so effortlessly on love wings

Until you’ve became so preoccupied

And slowly we’ve began our descent  

Falling out of trust, losing our grip

Somewhere along the way we lost

What we love the most- about us

All those little nuances we possess

And I’ve been bleeding ever since

I keep holding on, giving all, I have

I simply can’t hold out much longer

You’re killing us… by a thousand cuts

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Yield

My tears are blood drops from my soul.  

I braved my heart when I was innocent

Wear nefarious scars- of my trespassers                        

Yet- forgiven things I just can’t forget

Made mistakes without a second thought

Broken what precious gift I should not

Drowned in loves tossed barren seas  

And still, I thirst beyond comparison  

Trodden the same dark paths repeatedly

While fearing- every step that I made  

Wadded in the waters of true cleansing

Still- I’m beset to an unwelcome place

And would free myself in a heartbeat  

If I could move the mountain…in me

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Ambivalence

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(shakes head) Just when

I thought I had said it all

I took a welcomed deep breath

The days and nights lingered

And you came back to mind

I don’t know why, now I’ve discovered

I’ve only begun to speak openly

Knowing I’m still broken

And I still hurt, just not as bad

But I’m finding my way alone

To whom I was, who I need to be

Baby steps over these deep cracks   

I need desperately this path of patience

So, I can clarify any last…ambiguities

.

Poet of the Light © 2021

Back to bruised  

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Been down nearly every road before

Found they all lead back to here

Like a straight-line circle maze

Which is why I followed- you

Into a new mistake of a heartbreak   

It’s been too long and rough road

I’ve dragged my heart down again

Following rude platitudes of old fools

Just to keep them from being lonely

It only proves- I’m still easily fooled

My heart open instead of running away

To that someplace I’ve never been yet

And it’s anything but easy for me to do

I just need me a strange… familiar face

.

Poet of the Light © 2021