Category: abused
Presevationist
Since you’ve been gone
I’ve been nothing but lost
You were the counterbalance
When everything went wrong
Nothing I can say will change
My broken direction now
Life will never be the same
Cynical whispers hound my peace
In night and daydream turbulence
Whenever I strive to reemerge
From shattered pieces of my heart
As my shadow is absorbed in a darkness
And I’m just a living memory
That refuses to forget… you existed
.
Poet of the Light © 2023
Photo by Nicolu00f2 Pais on Pexels.com
Spent
I rose before a colorful dawn broke
Nothing could’ve felt sadder
And while in that silence, I lost hope
In the little bit left of each other
We’ve so desperately held on to
And no matter how much
Of my brokenness still loved you
It wouldn’t be perfect or enough- any more
To match what we’ve already lost
From all the hurtful lies and distrust
You’ve loved the idea of loving me back
As I loved you with my whole being
And I love you enough to let you go
From the last piece of myself… that still can
.
Poet of the Light © 2023
Photo by Fatin Rifat on Pexels.com
Battle tempered
Like a shadow of who I once was
I’ll walk along my empty shores
In the twilight hours of times before
Gathering empty shells of dreams
Left in the wake of ugly betrayals
That nearly drowned me repeatedly
I’ve stepped past the ghost of my hurt
That plagued me for too many years
Through my heart still feel the scars
That still hungers for- a love unfound
Where I can practice all, I’ve learned
To feel the warmth of love in my arms
While I’m clutched in her guiding hands
Teaching me to trust love… once again
.
Poet of the Light © 2022
Photo by Samuel Silitonga on Pexels.com
Disintegrated
My mind does try to understand
All things my emotions just can’t
Like why my heart wants to forgive
But still feels too broken down yet
It favors I surrender and let you go
With all this pain you’ve called love
My soul believes were heading for
A crash much worse than all this
Heartaches aren’t worth the trouble
Let’s stop pretending their normal
I’m so far from everything I’ve wanted
And sometimes I may feel I deserve it
Broken hearts cling to a glimmer of hope
One day someone will love us…anyway
.
Poet of the Light © 2022
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com
Echoes of a soul
There are times in life we miss lessons
That might’ve prepared us much better
No one ever taught me the depths of souls
Can reach beyond anything we’ve known
Or that intense reverberating emptiness
Follows in place of a profound love loss
And the fear of ever loving like that again
Is a new shadow we’re forced to live with
Or that your whole life becomes altered
With some beyond our human controls
Or that loneliness takes on a new form
As ache in your heart, when you’re alone
It’s written, Christ sends us a comforter
I missed the lesson some are called… back
.
Poet of the Light © 2022
Photo by Cole Keister on Pexels.com
Believers
Sometimes we have to just sit in the quietude
Attentively listening to no one but ourselves
Our dreams, our woes, uttered prayers aloud
Untangling why we always feel that blueness
Paying close attention to what is not said too
Like those secrets, we keep locked in our head
Behind a hidden door of our most inner fears
Where we store the scars of rejection and love
Where we keep window and shutters nailed shut
Those time-etched shattered pieces our ourselves
We hold hope to revive back to some kind of life
Knowing full well, in our hearts it’s not possible
Not without a miracle that only love can bestow
The kind of divine miracles we’re born… to dream
.
Poet of the Light © 2022
Photo by Sinitta Leunen on Pexels.com
Misconstrued
Thought I learned to express myself
And outgrow all my inner doubts
I thought time healed our wounds
I thought I knew what lost meant
And that sick bitter taste of regrets
Lingering after their guilt had left
Haven’t felt this kind of emptiness
Haven’t felt this kind of darken low
Haven’t ever felt this kind of pain
Haven’t felt this way since my youth
Always thought I could rise back up
Despite how broken inside I’d become
Thought I realized what haunting was
But I can tell you…I’m beginning to
.
Poet of the Light © 2022
Fiery
Grief is more than an emotional rabbit hole
It becomes a state of awareness all its own
Similar to living in multi-dimensional space
Where life as we know it altered- out of sync
It’s a mutual wound ripped clear to our soul
Defying logic, conventional wisdom, and love
Where we will often question our own sanity
A cold darkness that may affect almost anyone
Anyone- who dares love by a divine conviction
And yet, our love for others is what sustains us
Even though we will suffer in profound ways
As the world at large fails to comprehend this
Making us feel lonelier on our lonesome journey
Through a dark pathway into… a promised Light
.
Poet of the Light © 2022
Mutation
I’ve found “home” was among those
That created that welcoming sense
However, I’ve never felt more divided
From home-ness in my lifetime of living
As I have throughout this past year
It’s as if my life itself split wide open
Resembling a dark giant sea eruption
And a wound that leaves behind scars
I feel left as a spec of an island I once was
Out in center surrounded by strangeness
The sun used to rise up from the east side
And set softly in quietude on a westerly tide
Now the sky is filled in a muddied greyness
And a luminous moon has gone… absent
.
Poet of the Light © 2022
Whispers of a poet's heart 