Mortal introspect 5:09

Long read-

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Oh! How I long for where I’ve never been

The things not done but left to dreams

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Perhaps that’s the realest way- to long  

Strange to make such a statement

Aloud or even in writing, all alone- now

And no one is anymore the wisest  

As it never appears in conversations

With people that evade speaking

Forgetting we are fighting different battles

Of the same war, but on different levels

As mine has brought me to here- this moment   

This place in my fray of subsistence

Where tattered emotions and scars frequent

Like old friends that never abandon you   

Where echoes of cheers have quieted

Out of respect, I suppose- to memories

That has been slowly falling asleep

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Oh! How a good cigarette might taste

But I reckon it be like a polite misnomer

Rather than what they call it these days

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I struggle to remain awake in late darkness

And slip off before a fresh dawn rises

It’s almost like some personal game or plague

With me and night as the only players or victims  

Why for; I haven’t any real clue to confess

But I must admit, I feel as if I always lose

There’s no one to avoid, greet or regret  

Dawn is one of my more consistent visitors  

It’s just a thing that I now do before rest

And I know inside its very rude of me too

Dreaming has left me to turn and toss

As if it’s being too polite to intervene

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Oh! How I love a good coffee about now     

My palate craves my mid-day mornings

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So, back and forth I go, stirred half awake

Into a more zombie type of state

Missing dreams that spark optimism  

Creative youths secretly dream about

Less than an hour to go before light breaks

And hidden shadows fall on the ground

Like seasonal dried-out colorless leaves

How I felt that was myself in dark times

Waiting for the sun to chase them off

Like annoying neighborhood children

Too loud to be courteous to others

Because self-absorbed is now in fashion   

Replacing traditional church bells

That used to toll a fellowship difference    

And lift the spirits of a community

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 Oh! How I loved to nestle up close

To a warm and most spirited body

Linger in the scent of connectivity

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Ahh, to let all my heavier weariness go

Feel the weight slip off like water

Slowly breathe in and out a bit easier

With my eyelids gentle shutting out

My mind and hearts endless conversations

They seem to know it won’t last forever

Whereby they’re taking full advantage

Within that realm of my own conscious

About some of things I could’ve changed

Other things I wished I had never done

Or of some of the shortfalls, I missed

More importantly the ones I’d do again

And love, well love always tops the list  

As for now, for a few mortal seconds   

May my soul cocoon me… for just a bit

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Poet of the Light © 2022