Pall

You wore me out then wore me down
So, I wished you away, now you’ve gone
Such vile things we say without a thought 
Forgetting injurious words can’t be undone 
Often, we lose those things we love most
I understand loss and lost all too well now
Transported within a blink of an eyelash   
No taste of joy dared enter my mouth 
That sudden course of shear bitterness 
Would’ve devoured it in less than a minute 
I shuddered as I reluctantly swallowed
News of reality as to what had happened 
Tears broke from my sadden eyes in horror 
And in a disbelief of what I was hearing 
This is not at all what my heart ever wanted
I’m so appalled if God listened that excerpt 
Out of all the things my ignorance has muttered 
I know I don’t have that kind of power myself 
I’ve affirmed it myself time and time again  
Cause I’ve wished you back, harder and harder
Not for myself- but all those you left behind 
Each time, from the very core of my being 
And in trust but to no avail- just- nothing 
I’ll never forgive that part of my humanity
Flawed and selfish, such cavalier speaking 
As if my bruised ego held some anointed right
And like some quickening to my knowledge 
Words written in red, reveal new meanings 
For me, twas like being struck by lightening
Out of the blue, and on a cloudless day
Not a single glimmer of silver thread present 
And yet, I recall feeling every drop of rain
Some were like sulfur that burned my skin   
Such an abrupt clinical voice informed me   
That word “expired” will forever be seared 
Into my ears like an unwanted harsh tone 
I’ll never acclimate to it, this much I know
I would’ve preferred it had been me instead
I genuinely cannot say honestly if this is 
My ego or my humanistic love … speaking  

.
Poet of the Light © 2021 

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