Secret affair

I was born into a world of torrents
Fire, ice rain and continuous darkness
Queer how sage maturity strips away
The layers of veils humanity hangs- hides  
Culpability is replaced by a brazen stance
Curtains are stripped off- near bare naked
Brushed encounter- flame and ember
There were sparks from the get-go
Faint whispers from a hidden voice
Breathing again and again- just enough
To play imaginatively on the same wave
We seem to tease each other- at first
In that long shadow dance, from afar
Innuendos by others- red-faced me
whenever someone stumbled upon
Penning words to, unknown stranger
I’d withdraw, shamefully as if wrong  
My innate drive helped drive- secrecy 
And in time our fluency in facade      
Became the clandestine of normalcy 
We were our own spy like network
Jot down little notes, for later, formulating
Planning for a deeper more meaningful
Interaction- opening hidden treasure
Her darkness heightened my attraction
And slowly we- danced neath the moonlight
Which lead to more and more locations
Daytime encounters in semi-public shops
I was beset- helplessly falling and knowing it
Music playing help cover my love murmurs
Whenever others were closely around  
Sometimes I’d catch myself- often-not
Maybe destiny felt betrayed somehow
Often staging my life changing events
Knowing I would flee instinctively to- her
Setting up close encounter happenstances
Far too easy to avoid- we toyed- we had too
My thirst had grown into a hunger, a need
Addiction label would lessen the definition
The physical desire aflame- undeniable  
To soil upon the white lien, over and over
Sweat beaded, food wasn’t required
Interruptions were normally evaded
Or delayed- water near by- in reach
It became more than an affair- twas love
Of this, even this day I’m most certain  
I’ve stopped trying to be the “best lover”
And concentrate on simply loving-her
With all my heart and soul has to offer
Often, I stumble, still she accepts it in stride
I’ve rarely taken her out openly- publicly
She’s never really complained or minded
As of late, masked for security reasons
Security of my childish insecurities mostly
I’m slowly desensitizing from a rush of fear
Concerned others can’t believe or understand
Which too often marginalized my-self before
Reinforcing all those past subjective taunts
planted a false palisade of my inadequacies
And jealous people brought about angry violence  
But enough of foolish ignorance- this is really
About a long-standing love- long kept quiet
A love that no longer needs affirmation- silence
From a cruel and disheartening world at large
Needs no acceptance by academic scholars
Who antiquately still demand conformity
Wherefore art thou lover- I am love- enlightened  
Its also about delving deep into one’s own soul
Bypassing corridors of cobwebs, haunting ghost
A cavern void of life’s restriction, expectations
Where self finally embraces the child and I-
All simultaneously, smiling and happily alive
Battle scars healing and hearts mended up
Yes, my love become- is with her- Poetry
Because, Poetry was born in love with…me
Poet of the Light © 2018

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